1. Miguel A. Wilder
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    Miguel A. Wilder Member

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    Emotions in my scene and sequel.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Miguel A. Wilder, Aug 30, 2016.

    Hello,

    I have the scene and sequel thing down fairly well, however, I am struggling with the emotion section of them. I can only say my guts twisted, her eyes flaired, my heart pounded in my chest so many times. I am running out of ways to express emotions without falling into the trap of telling over showing.

    Also, can anyone tell me what qualifies as an emotion in a scene and sequel? I know the physical type I used in my example but are there other types that I might not be aware of--descriptive, but not like the ones above?

    Are there any tricks to this, or a list out there somewhere?

    Thanks for your time in advance.
     
  2. Lifeline
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    Lifeline The Dark - not in Wonderland Supporter Contributor

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    :D A list??? Sorry I am laughing right now.

    I can only say, show it a different way. Not every emotion manifests itself in bodily reactions. Give some acerbic comments from your MC when he is disgusted, and you don't need to say "A red haze descended."
     
  3. I.A. By the Barn
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    I.A. By the Barn A very lost time traveller Contributor

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  4. big soft moose
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    big soft moose Active Member

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    some telling is okay - show don't tell is a cliche , a story in which absolutely everything is shown will be incredbly tiresome for the reader , show and tell isn't an either or, its a balance.

    In a first person narrative saying "god, but she made me angry sometimes" or " my emotions were a mess, I couldn't decide whether I most wanted to fuck her or kill her " is fine so long as you don't over do it

    (I.A types faster than I do)
     
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  5. Miguel A. Wilder
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    Miguel A. Wilder Member

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    Thank you very much. This was very helpful
     
  6. Miguel A. Wilder
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    Miguel A. Wilder Member

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    Thank you very much. This was very helpful
     
  7. Miguel A. Wilder
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    Miguel A. Wilder Member

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    Thank you very much. This was very helpful
     
  8. Francis de Aguilar
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    Francis de Aguilar Active Member

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    The first port of call must be your own emotional landscape, next time you get angry or sad, happy or bad. If you feel shame or guilt, note for yourself how you experience this... if it were a colour what would it be, if it were a shape and so on. where is it? in your head your gut. can you point to it?

    Also look for the core feeling you are trying to describe, there are not that many.

    Anger
    Guilt
    Shame
    Fear
    Hope
    Love
    Joy
     
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  9. Francis de Aguilar
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    Francis de Aguilar Active Member

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  10. Miguel A. Wilder
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    Miguel A. Wilder Member

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    Thank you very much
     
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  11. Cave Troll
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    Cave Troll Bite the bullet, do your own thing. Contributor

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    Emotion is the mental part of the MC or character, their own personal feelings in the moment and how they interpret them.

    Despite being surrounded within the confines of my faithful war-frame and her sturdy allow armor plating, I could not still my beating hearts that threatened to escape my breast. Ice in my veins and down my vertebral column, but this only enhanced my sense of personal dread as the enemy bombarded us without mercy. It took all of my will power to keep my teeth from chattering as each concussive blast erupted in all directions about me. The percussive shock-waves vibrated me to the bone. All I could do was try and remember to keep moving in spite of my every last fiber of my being telling me to run like hell opposite the artillery fire that stayed constant on our position. My lip quivered as I returned with mortar fire, hoping to in the least put up some resistance. I had little comfort or comrade to give me courage, as many hundreds of them lay dead or dying. Dismembered bodies lay strewn about the field. Limbs, organs, and bodily fluids painted the grim canvas of our advance. So cried out for help or to parents in the final moments before they were claimed by their mortal wounds. Tears streaked down my face, and I gritted my teeth with a low growl of determination as more of my fellow soldiers were torn apart by the high explosive shelling raining death upon us. In the red and beige mist of earth and blood that filled the air, I pushed my fears aside. Pressing further into the death raining on my position, I howled in anger, my dread turning to rage. And even as the tears burned my eyes and cheeks, I wanted to let friend and foe alike know that I was not going to be bested by a little heavy shelling.
     
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  12. Sack-a-Doo!
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    Sack-a-Doo! Contributing Member Contributor

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    Besides the obvious, think in terms of body language, thought processes (what do you think about when dealing with a particular emotion, for instance) and reaction.

    Reaction can be thoughts and physical actions. And especially physical actions can speak far louder when expressing emotion than simply stating what those emotions are. Imagine two people who are upset. One says, "I'm upset," while the other storms from the room and slams the door.

    Hope this helps.

    And BTW, any who reply to this thread with incredulity don't realize you're speaking Swain-ese. ;)

    Also, keep in mind that sequel is unified by topic, not emotion. Topic will often cause emotional reactions, but it's still the topic that rules sequel.
     
  13. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    I sometimes look to what's going on within the scene to express what I want. In my robot story I decided to imply the robot had feelings even though he had no biology, no heart, no spirit to create them. The trick is to angle what is happening in order to give the impression of emotions.

    For instance in one scene his owner gets anger and grabs the robot and throws him. Here's the lines -

    The implication is subtle but it gives impact ( ooh pun ) because of the short sentences. You don't just show emotions by the mc's body reactions but also by what they're doing, what people think of them - they're reactions, gestures, the very mood of the setting.
     
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