1. jlauren
    Offline

    jlauren Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2009
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Queensland, AUSTRALIA

    Ever wondered what your cat is thinking?

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jlauren, Jun 16, 2009.

    I really hope I'm allowed to do this......hehe.

    OK, so a thread I started with a humorous piece about my parent's cat has sparked an idea. I am going deep, deep inside the minds of cats everywhere and I'm sure to uncover their devious plans. They truly are the most deceiving animals on the planet.

    I have grown up with cats, so I am quite used to their strange and selfish behaviour, but does anyone have some funny stories about cats? And I'm talking the evil kind of cat, the one who seems to be hiding something. The cat who hates humans and everything we represent.

    I would love some of your freaky cat stories to add to my thousands.

    Thanks!
     
  2. AinSophAur
    Offline

    AinSophAur New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2009
    Messages:
    11
    Likes Received:
    0
    My cat used to wait for my wake-up alarm to go off and then jump on my face. Now it's the summer so I don't have school and don't set my alarm. But he still seems to know the exact time that the alarm will go off because he jumps on my face anyways...creepy?

    Have you seen this?
     
  3. edens garden
    Offline

    edens garden Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Saratoga Springs, NY
    I raised and bottle fed a kitten from five days old, and that thing was pure evil. You might find her morning ritual amusing. Once she was a few weeks old she would sleep curled up next to my head every night, and once i started to wake up she would hide under my bed. Upon waking i would (for the first few days at least, because she was so little) panic and leap out of bed to find my poor little kitty. As soon as my feet hit the ground she would launch herself at my ankles, taking them out in a full on flying leap. I still have scars from her, lol.
     
  4. Agreen
    Offline

    Agreen Faceless Man Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2009
    Messages:
    2,143
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Canada
    As far as I can tell, my cat only has two thoughts: who can he trick into giving him food, and what closet can he sneak into instead of using his litter box.
     
  5. Tall and Weird
    Offline

    Tall and Weird New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2009
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Australia
    My mother's cat is a true sensualist. She is extremely amorous towards shoes that attract her even if their owner is still wearing them. She rubs herself all over them and purrs so loudly that it could be a quiet chainsaw. My mother gets so embarrassed!

    What freaks me out about cats is when they suddenly sit up with a start and stare at the wall. What the heck are they looking at?
     
  6. ChaseRoberts
    Offline

    ChaseRoberts Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2009
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Dundee
    Elvis is the name of my cat, and I'm fairly sure he hated me because I gave him a stupid name.

    He is a portly cat, black and white, and, suffering from kidney problems, will actually probably end up dying on the litter tray. I got him from a pet rescue centre when he was seven.

    He always did his best to try and kill me. He'd sleep on my neck at night (he weighs a stone). He'd watch me going into the bathroom in the mornings I was late to work, and then he'd park himself right at the spot most likely to trip me up and send me flying into the wall.

    Like a real ladies man, he'd go out chasing skirt, and singing. But only at 1030pm, every night, like clockwork. And he'd only ever sing outside my window, serenading the portly Maine Coon next door.

    When I suffered a temporary accommodation crisis, and ended up living back with my parents, quick as lightening, Elvis developed a huge man crush on Dad. On moving out (not so amicable, due to mother) I had to leave him behind, and every time I go to visit now, Elvis runs and hides in case I take him away from Dad.

    Funniest story about Elvis? He's not a great hunter. You know the way cats hunt, they sort of crouch down, bum in the air? Doesn't work if your bum is the size of a small country. One dark summer's evening, my dad opened the back door and shouted for Elvis to come back inside (he responds to his name, even if he doesn't like it). Through the dark, Elvis came running, and as he approached, dad realised that he had Something in his mouth. A gift. A present. Elvis ran closer, and dad was already wondering what poor innocent (and clearly very stupid) creature had ended up in Elvis's fangs.

    Elvis ran up to dad and dropped the offering at his feet.

    It was half a french baguette.
     
  7. Obezyanka
    Offline

    Obezyanka Member

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2008
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    My cat is 14 years old, Beauty.

    I always wondered where he got the patients to lay there while the young toddlers would grasp his tail and prod him. He takes it like a trooper.

    As I mentioned before under your story. My cat seems to think he owns me.
    He has a habit for when he wants to go to bed he would meow at me. When he found that didn't work he would jump onto my desk sit in front of the monitor and glare at me so I couldn't see the monitor. I knew it was time to go to bed. lol.
     
  8. 67Kangaroos
    Offline

    67Kangaroos Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2008
    Messages:
    1,326
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Lost
    rofl hahahahaha~

    rather than what the cat was thinking....

    we've only had outdoor cats, and we once lived in an apartment complex. one of the cats apparently had the whole apartment complex doing him favors. Half the time, he would arrive smelling fresh and clean. He was always overfed. And where else will you see a huge, burly, hard-drinking, harley-driving man pick up a cat like a baby and baby-talk to it? :confused: but cute :)
     
  9. Dcoin
    Offline

    Dcoin Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2008
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    NYC
    I don't have a cat, but its not often that I have to read a thread title twice to make sure I read it correctly.

    Thanks for that!
     
  10. Cogito
    Offline

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    35,935
    Likes Received:
    2,043
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    Putting this under character development is really a stretch, especially because you are asking for anecdotes rather than techniques. Therefore, I've moved it to the Lounge. You'll probably get more traffic now too.
     
  11. TheHedgehog
    Offline

    TheHedgehog Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 6, 2009
    Messages:
    779
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    between here and there
    My cat will be quick to claw at anything which dares to annoy him. One time my dog went too far and tried to play with him too hard. The cat swiped at his face and then ran up the stairs. The dog pursued him, so the cat turned the corner to hide. When the dog reached the top of the stairs, the cat jumped out of the corner and literally ambushed a dog five times his size. XD
     
  12. Wreybies
    Offline

    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 1, 2008
    Messages:
    18,859
    Likes Received:
    10,034
    Location:
    Puerto Rico
    My cat Val was always thinking the same thing: Why are you not feeding me right now?
     
  13. sophie.
    Offline

    sophie. Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    1,054
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    England
    LOL! :D Hahahah. Cats are crazy.
    The part in bold - well, my friend recently got a kitten (ANOTHER one). He's kind of nutty. I took some bread (a baguette, incidentally) to her house. The bread was wrapped in a plastic bag, and the plastic bag was inside my (zipped up) handbag. We came home to find half of a gnawed, slavered over baguette sitting on a cushion. How he managed to open my bag(s) I'll never know. That cat is insane :p

    Oh and another friend with her cat (now I think about it, half my friends own at least 2..) --ugh, it hates me. I was sleeping on a mattress, and in the middle of the night it came in and pounced on my head. I sat up screaming (it was a shock!) and it ran off hissing to itself. My friend then accused me of heartlessly scaring the cat! Humph. :p
     
  14. ChaseRoberts
    Offline

    ChaseRoberts Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2009
    Messages:
    126
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Dundee
    I didn't really answer the question though.

    I think if Elvis was a human, he'd be one of those lovely, placid, but rather hairy, overweight and ridiculously over ambitious middle aged men, probably a computer geek who sat all day inside playing world of warcraft, and dreamt that they were really a brave hunter who could slay rats and mice and birds. He'd pad downstairs regularly to peek in the fridge, would still stay with his parents and would have a crush on someone he was too shy to speak to, but would get drunk and do overblown romantic gestures outside her window instead.

    That's what Elvis essentially is, without the computer skills.

    You should see him watching Crufts by the way- he sits there, ears back, tail puffed up, making sure none of the dogs jump out the telly and into the livingroom.
     

    Attached Files:

  15. John Locke The Cat
    Offline

    John Locke The Cat Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2009
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0
    My cat, John Locke, is the greatest cat in the universe. He's free-willed, climbs trees, the roof of my house, kills and tortures birds and has killed a snake, but is very affectionate and loving toward me. All the birds in my backyard swoop down, taunt him, and try to attack him (some of the birds have tried to attack me) because they hate him so much. He's gotten into a bird nest and destroyed all the bird eggs before.

    So I would assume that most of the time, my cat is thinking of how to kill birds, thinking about food, and how to get up and down places. I can't imagine a cat thinking of anything outside their simple life.

    Also, my other cat, Nyla, aka my ex-girlfriend's cat, is a tiny little black cat, and I'm sure if she was human, she'd be a skank. She imitates Locke's mannerisms and the things he does, but fails miserably at them, and likes to bite you. Oh, and she likes to eat flies and then throw them up.
     
  16. M9A8E6S4TO
    Offline

    M9A8E6S4TO Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    180
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Mississippi
    "I am fat and beautiful." - Abu. He is your typical male.

    And we have another cat, Kiki, who has social problems. She gets scared being around people she doesn't know, and rarely comes out of the room where her foodbowl is. She has horrible skin problems, and I can relate to her incredibly on that, because I used to have something similar. I doubt she knows I can relate, though, heh.
     
  17. Rei
    Offline

    Rei Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2008
    Messages:
    7,869
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Kingston
    My cat often thinks, "I'm old and cranky, but if you don't hold me like a human baby at all times, I will stare at you until you pick me up."
     
  18. A.J.Crowley
    Offline

    A.J.Crowley Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2009
    Messages:
    132
    Likes Received:
    1
    My Cat has a strange an unnatural instinct for sleeping on whatever anyone in my household wants to use - washing, books, newspapers you name it, he even sleeps on top of the car. Several times someone has driven half way down the street with Tiger on the roof. When they remember and stop see if he is ok, they find him sitting up majestically surveying the scenery, and on one occasion curled up oblivious.
     
  19. hiddennovelist
    Offline

    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    10,256
    Likes Received:
    161
    Location:
    Fabulous Sin City
    Joel's cat likes to choose places to lay where he knows everyone needs to walk. And when I come home from grocery shopping, he likes to walk around right in front of me, getting in my way as I struggle up the stairs with ten bags of groceries, trying not to drop anything. He enjoys getting in the way when people are trying to do something or go somewhere.

    Once, I grabbed my purse and car keys, and out of nowhere, he came running out of the spare bedroom, where he had been sleeping, ran up the stairs, and just sat in front of the door staring at me with a look on his face like "go ahead. Try to leave. See what happens."
     
  20. Leaka
    Offline

    Leaka Creative Mettle

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    5,825
    Likes Received:
    36
    I think my cat has to missions to be as annoying as he can and to be the cruelest cat on the planet[I don't blame him though].
    But what he is thinking, These pets of mine are so great.

    The mission to be as annoying as he can is simple.
    Someone closes door, he'll meow at that door.
    You let him, he'll sniff around the door and walk out.
    Then you're like, okay what was the point of meowing twenty times just to do that.
    When you take showers he meows the whole entire someone is in the shower.
    He won't shut up sometimes.
    But he only meows when doors are closed, he doesn't meow other then that.

    The mission to be the cruelest cat stems from a traumatic experience he had.
    He officially hates all blonds, no offense to anyone.
    When I was a kid, my cousin brought over a blond boy to our house.
    They tormented my cat.
    Smacking him with pillows, pulling him from under the bed, locking him in the room as they chased him around.
    He officially doesn't trust blonds.
    If he sees you're blond he hisses and attacks.
    Also when we got our new puppy my cat is a tad territorial.
    He chased a dog bigger then him up the stairs.
    And that dog was running tail in his legs.
    When we put the pup in his cage, the cat would hiss at the cage and try to claw the dog now that he was cornered.
    My cat just likes being evil.
     
  21. jlauren
    Offline

    jlauren Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2009
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Queensland, AUSTRALIA
    HAHAHAHA! Maybe this is why your cat meows at closed doors. He doesn't see a closed door as locking him out, but as locking him in? LOL. He's scarred for life.

    And the fear of blondes I understand. We had a cat who hated anyone wearing black. It would hiss and carry on if you came near it, but if you changed into something lighter, it wouldn't even notice you. Dumb animal.
     
  22. hiddennovelist
    Offline

    hiddennovelist Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2009
    Messages:
    10,256
    Likes Received:
    161
    Location:
    Fabulous Sin City
    Joel's cat hates men. Except Joel. I have no idea why, but my sister and her fiance were over one night, and the cat was totally fine. Then the fiance tried to pet him and he ripped his finger open.

    He does the same thing to me, though. So maybe he doesn't hate men. Maybe he just hates me and RICKY.
     
  23. BadPenny
    Offline

    BadPenny Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2009
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    California
    I had a cat that exacted her revenge by peeing on whatever we really valued as youngsters. For instance: my oldest sister’s leather jacket, other sister’s sketchbooks, bothers’ gaming consoles, and my journals.

    Brat.
     
  24. lordofhats
    Offline

    lordofhats Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    The Hat Cave
    Catnip. That's all cats think about.

    Funny Stories:

    My cat is a ninja because she can wall run.
     
  25. jlauren
    Offline

    jlauren Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2009
    Messages:
    135
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Queensland, AUSTRALIA
    Lordofhats - you cat can run up walls? LOL.

    My parent's cat has a major fear of the doormat at the patio door. She HATES it coz every time she goes to walk outside, my dad moves the mat with his foot and scares the crap out of her. So now she will just leap over the mat and not touch it. Or, she won't use that door. She's pretty much suspicious of everything we do.

    Hilarious.
     

Share This Page