1. NaCl
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    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

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    Evil puppy tongue!

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by NaCl, Dec 22, 2008.

    My mini Dachshund puppy rested in a rolled up ball on my chest while I leaned back in my chair playing on-line poker. The warmth of his little body felt good on my congested chest and I smiled each time he "yipped" in his sleep. Despite suffering my worst winter cold in may years, everything seemed "right" in my life.

    Then it happened! He woke up and lunged at my face. Despite my swift reflex, his long snout...and even longer tongue...nailed me before I could escape. Where? Right in the mouth!

    I spat violently into the nearby trash can. In my mind, images danced; visions of Dink licking his...well, use your imagination about what puppies lick. I made my way to the master bathroom and brushed my teeth, followed by a healthy rinse of Listerine. All the while, Dink sat between my feet a bit confused by my sudden surge of activity. Little did he understand the horror of his act.

    When I got back to my computer, the poker game I had been playing was over. It had sucked away all my chips posting blinds and antes. I was out of the tournament and my buy-in was wasted. I sat down, shaking my head at the damage done by that puppy.

    Two small paws suddenly touched lightly on my thigh. Dink yipped once, his way of asking, "Will you please, pick me up...please?." Despite my frustration, I scooped him up and rocked back in my writing back. The puppy walked up my torso, circled a few times on my chest...must be some remnant of wild instinct, as if trampling down grass to build a nest. Then, he closed his eyes in his usual tight ball and spastic kicks returned as he drifted deeper into sleep. Until I was certain he was sound asleep, my hand guarded my face against any sudden urge to show affection.

    Why tell you of this? It's just my attempt to warn my friends of the danger associated with random expressions of affection by "evil puppy tongues!" Beware them! (LOL)


    This is "Dink":

    http://www.writingforums.org/album.php?albumid=129&pictureid=776
     
  2. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    Awww, he just wanted to love you.
    I don't think they have evil tongues....its the teeth you have to worry about.
    I have a puppy bulldog and he's absolutely adorable tongue and all.
    He loves you that is so sweet.
     
  3. garmar69
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    garmar69 Contributing Member Contributor

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    LMAO!! I know about them 'licky' dogs. My BIL has a big ol' horse of an English Bulldog that seems to have an even larger than normal tongue to body ratio.

    That sucker can lick a four inch wide sloppy tongue trail up your arm that will leave ya begging for a towel. Yuk!
     
  4. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    No, uh uh.
    Bulldogs tongues are the best, they help you clean up after dinner.
    Get those ketchup stains off your fingers.
     
  5. garmar69
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    garmar69 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Uh-uh Leaky, me no likey the lickey! :D
     
  6. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    Bulldogs are the cutest.
    And their licking is even cuter.
     
  7. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    Ha, spooky does that all the time. My kitten gets very excited when i have good food in my room, so if she can't reach my plate, she'll try to stick her face in my mouth. o_O
     
  8. Ashleigh
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    Ashleigh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Aaaaww Dachshund Dachshund Dachshund!!

    Doggies are so cute.

    My doggy snores when she sleeps haha.
    And she doesnt bite or anything, but she licks my hand for like 10 hours.
    She's weird lol
     
  9. de la vega
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    de la vega Member

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    Aw, what a cutie! How many months is he?

    Yeah, I try not to let my puppy lick my face either. When she's home with my boyfriend and I, she doesn't try it. But when I take her to my parents' - especially now that I'm there for the holidays - she gets into a licking frenzy with everyone. My mom loves it.

    But yes, I also can't stop thinking about where her tongue has been. She does lick herself you-know-where, and she'll chew on anything and everything. Also, even though she stays away from dog poop (thank goodness!) she does have a taste for other poop that I'm too slow to stop her from grabbing every once in a while: namely deer, rabbit, and goose.

    Also, she's not too keen on having her teeth brushed, so I probably don't do it as often as I should.

    Here's my puppy. She's 8 months old now.

    http://www.writingforums.org/album.php?albumid=271&pictureid=1594
     
  10. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Awww! Saulty got puppy-frenched! :eek::D:p

    Getting puppy-frenched doesn't freak me out. It's happened to me many times. I love that dogs are able to make emotional attachments to humans.
     
  11. Xeno
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    Xeno Mad and Bitey Contributor

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    That is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    look at it as his loving attempt to save you from the evils of gambling!
     
  13. NaCl
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    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

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    de la vega - Dink's just about a year now and still entirely puppy in his approach to life. Your little Ofie's adorable...love his big ears!

    mammamaia - that little turd cost me $10! I don't drink, play around on my wife, or do drugs so a little gambling should be forgiven...besides I'm pretty damn good at it...won my last tournament and took second the month before. I have a deal with my wife...every time I win, she gets the winnings!
     
  14. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    I thought to get to dogs human age you times by 7, so your dog would be a 7 year old human child.
     
  15. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    There was a special on animal planet, and they said that that wasn't entirely accurate. And it really would be more correct to say they were 20 at 2 years, then add 4 for each year after that. Since they grow faster than we do.




    .......I was really bored over summer break. :redface:
     
  16. garmar69
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    garmar69 Contributing Member Contributor

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    Also, some dogs age faster than others. A Saint Bernard won't live as long as a Chihuahua--usually that is, there are always exceptions. But as a general rule it is valid.
     
  17. Leaka
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    Leaka Creative Mettle

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    Cool.
    Thanks for letting me know.
     
  18. Carmina
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    Carmina Contributing Member Contributor

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    I am not a big fan of puppy tongue, especially since I know my dogs eat their own poop. However, they are dogs. For a dog, a lick on the face is a sign of both affection and an acknowledgement that I am alpha-bitch. Omega dogs will lick the apha dogs on the mouth to show submission. When Haplo is bad and needs alpha rolled...he can't get up until he licks my face. I have just learned to keep the mouth closed when the dogs get into licky modes. :)
     

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