1. Felipe
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    Felipe Active Member

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    Facebook blamed

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Felipe, Jan 14, 2012.

    The Facebook divorces: Social network site is cited in 'a THIRD of splits'
    By JOHN STEVENS
    Last updated at 9:07 PM on 30th December 2011
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    Facebook is becoming a major factor in marriage breakdowns and is increasingly being used as a source of evidence in divorce cases, according to lawyers.
    The social networking site was cited as a reason for a third of divorces last year in which unreasonable behaviour was a factor, according to law firm Divorce-Online.
    The firm said it had seen a 50 per cent jump in the number of behaviour-based divorce petitions that contained the word ‘Facebook’ in the past two years.

    Nasty surprise: A third of the 5,000 petitions filed with Divorce-Online in the past year mentioned Facebook
    Mark Keenan, managing director of Divorce-Online, said: ‘Facebook has become the primary method for communicating with friends for many people.
    'People contact ex-partners and the messages start as innocent, but lead to trouble.

    More...
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    ‘If someone wants to have an affair or flirt with the opposite sex then it’s the easiest place to do it.’
    Thirty-three per cent of the 5,000 behaviour petitions filed with the firm in the past year mentioned the site.
    The most common reasons for Facebook causing problems in relationships were a spouse finding flirty messages, photos of their partner at a party they did not know about or with someone they should not have been with.

    Looking over their options: Social networks make it easier for people to reconnect with past loves
    Anne-Marie Hutchinson, at Dawson Cornwell Solicitors, said: ‘If you are keeping things from your partner, Facebook makes it so much easier for them to find out.’
    She said the site can be used as evidence of unreasonable behaviour, adding: ‘If you are complaining that they have a drinking problem and they have posted statuses about going out on the razzle... that could be used.’
    Mr Keenan said he warned his clients to keep off Facebook while going through divorce proceedings.
    He added: ‘People need to be careful what they put on Facebook as the courts are now seeing a lot more evidence being introduced from people’s walls and posts in disputes over finances and children.’


    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2080398/Facebook-cited-THIRD-divorces.html#ixzz1jRpfZ83M
     
  2. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    Facebook, successfully breaking up families one status update at a time. :D
     
  3. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    It's a huge peeve of mine when people try to place blame on factors like the Internet, TV shows, books/movies, etc. when the fault lies with themselves. If they cheated on their partner, it's their own fault for cheating, not the Internet's fault for making it easier. It's just like the parents who don't bother to parent their kids or teach them values and manners, then blame TV shows when the kid is a bully at school.
     
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  4. Felipe
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    Felipe Active Member

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    Exactly why I titled it "Facebook blamed" not "Facebook Responsible."

    But to play the devil's advocate, does anyone agree that many would never have considered it had it not been for social media such as this? Reconnecting with an old friend, long gone?
     
  5. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    I know you didn't say FB was responsible. That post wasn't addressed to you, just in general about the people out there who think that way. :)

    It's possible to reconnect with old classmates w/out cheating with them. Facebook is only a tool. People are the ones who choose how to use it.
     
  6. funkybassmannick
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    funkybassmannick Contributing Member

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    I can see where an argument can be made, but it's a flimsy one. As Mallory said, the fault lies in the partner. If they chose to cheat, that's their choice. Just because facebook made increased the temptation doesn't make it any less their fault. But to play devil's advocate of a devil's advocate (if that's even possible), what about when rekindling with an old partner is a good thing? That they are in a bad marriage, and now realize that breaking up with their college boyfriend was a mistake?

    But that's not really what I feel. I think everyone should just work on their marriages. I realize sometimes that's not an option, but I think that in most cases it is, it's just a really hard option (that I think would end up being more rewarding). And I'm not talking about sticking together for the sake of the children, I'm talking about communication, humility, and compromises.
     
  7. Felipe
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    Felipe Active Member

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    The article read,"'People contact ex-partners and the messages start as innocent, but lead to trouble."

    I think if you looked at a phone bill and saw that your spouse was calling someone from 20 years ago anyone might go ballistic, but for some reason it is OK on Facebook? Granted, a marriage has to be in trouble anyway for this to blossom, but people expect a certain amount of loyalty out of their spouses, justifiably so. Why should Facebook be any different?
     
  8. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    I think the issue lies in that these things are happening daily. Facebook just makes it easier to get caught and to gain proof.
     
  9. Felipe
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    Felipe Active Member

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    True, but it also reconnects people that have been separated by miles and years who they never would have talked to otherwise, lost touch with.
     
  10. funkybassmannick
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    funkybassmannick Contributing Member

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    Maybe we should be thanking facebook for bringing hidden issues to the surface. If a marriage is realistically going to end in divorce (because one or both refuse to work on the marriage), then wouldn't it be better to catch it early on rather than after another five or ten years of suffering?
     
  11. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    True. And I think if one is stupid enough to actually cheat, then they deserve to be caught in a stupid fashion. Given, the stupidity that drove them to cheating inevitably will spill onto a facebook page anyway, so this bringing to light idea has merit. ;)
     
  12. Felipe
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    Felipe Active Member

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    No marriage is just a bed of roses with only bliss and happiness. Marriages need work and mutual support to work and they do go through low times as well as high. Perhaps at a low, really low point in a couple's marriage they might be more tempted to do something, or look up someone that they wouldn't otherwise do. Still, it's like blaming the gun instead of the killer.
     
  13. funkybassmannick
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    funkybassmannick Contributing Member

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    Guns kill people, religion starts wars, and facebook cheats on their wives. Facts.
     
  14. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    Can I use this as my next facebook status?
    :D
     
  15. Alex W
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    Alex W Contributing Member

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    A gun doesn't kill anyone unless the peron actively uses it. Religion doesn't start a war unless someone chooses to follow it fanatically. Facebook doesn't split up relationships/friendships unless people make stupid comments on there or choose to argue online rather than in person. I suspect the same could be made for texting or BBMing for break-ups, but without breaching thousands of peoples privacy rights we'll never know.

    Facebook is merely a tool to talk at any point with someone, it itself is not to blame obviously, it's the people who choose to argue over it. By logging into it you are not starting an argument automatically are you, what you choose to say or post affects that.

    When we design something else that allows us to chat live (always had my mind on of of those cybernetic eye screens you see in sci-fi military soldiers) then that'll be a tool for which people argue or split up too.
     
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  16. Felipe
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    Felipe Active Member

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    People are the cause, Facebook has been named and used as evidence in 1/3 of the divorces cited in this report.
     
  17. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    I have a gun permit for in case someone tries to break in and rape me. Haven't killed anyone, nor do I plan to. Last time I checked, guns didn't just walk around by themselves and fire themselves on people. Oh, and you can also kill someone by smothering them with a pillow. Do pillows kill people?

    People start wars. Wars are also caused by disputes over land and natural resources; paranoia that one country will attack and a "I'll get them so they can't get me" mindset; etc. There are also people who use their religion as a reason to do good.
     
  18. Mark_Archibald
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    Mark_Archibald Active Member

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    I don't use facebook but have seen people get into serious confrontations over something that happened on facebook.

    Facebook is stupid anyway, I went on there to see what the people were talking about and it was things like "Getting ready for work"

    WHO THE EFF CARES IF YOU'RE GETTING READY FOR WORK?!
     
  19. Steerpike
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    Steerpike Felis amatus Supporter Contributor

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    I agree with Mallory. As humans we all like to have convenient scapegoats on which to focus blame and minimize personal responsibility. In the end, our actions reflect our choices.
     
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  20. funkybassmannick
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    funkybassmannick Contributing Member

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    Sorry, I was hoping my sarcasm would leak through the internet, as my words were dripping in it on my end. :)
     
  21. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Ditto this!
     
  22. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    @ Funkybass: Oh. Okay. Thanks for the clarification. :) Great username by the way.
     
  23. Alex W
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    Alex W Contributing Member

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    I've been up for two days, my perception skills aren't at their brightest i'm afraid! That's my story and i'm sticking to it :D
     
  24. arron89
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    arron89 Banned

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    Isn't the initial premise of this thread a little misleading? No one, even in the article, is saying Facebook made them cheat or anything like that, it just says that Facebook is being used as evidence in divorce cases-- i.e., evidence of cheating is easier to come by thanks to Facebook.

    Actually, reading it back, it doesn't even say the number of divorces has risen, just that the number that mention Facebook specifically has, not that divorce-online.com sounds like a particularly reputable source, so really, Facebook should be blamed, but only in a "I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids" kinda way.
     
  25. funkybassmannick
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    funkybassmannick Contributing Member

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    Yes it does. It says:
    It's hypothetical, but the article is positing this.
     

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