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  1. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Fantasy Plot Help

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Sywo, Mar 24, 2008.

    Ok, here is the plot at present:

    A slayer named Llanthus is on a ship, travelling to islands to the east of his homeland. He has been given a mission by the slayers guild. His mission: Along with four other slayers, purge the islands of any threats and locate resources.
    However during the travelling, his Holo-Aura Headset begins to glitch, strange messages appearing in his files. He lands on the first island, half of the ships crew going with him to travel to the larger islands where the new settlers will be coming.
    The other half of the crew are to sail around these islands and meet up with the settlers. However some of the crew go into a trance, repeating the messages that have appeared on the headset. The tranced crew set the ship on fire, igniting the gunpowder stored on deck.

    This is where it goes blank for me. I've got the islands, but what could happen on them? Just some ideas would help. I'm playing around with some in my head but I don't quite know how its going to work. I have one idea at present that will be included:

    While travelling the islands, Llanthus finds a strange shaped jewel/stone/thing. It connects with his headset and allows him to see into the past, and he must discover what happened the first time the islands were populated. This all ties into the strange messages that are spread throughout the book. At some point he unleashes the knowledge/mind/thoughts of a great evil and it possesses him sending him back to the point when he found the jewel/stone/thing. From there he devours the remaining crew and the slayer he once loved. Then the story ends.

    When I say the the story ends, I mean that it goes onto the next story, but I haven't thought about that much. The great evil thing is the old one I wrote a poem about a while ago. It'll be the big story arc, where the min the body and the soul combine into the being.
    I'm going of on a tangent again so:

    Do you think the plot is alright?
    Are there any parts of the plot that should be developed in the story are left out entirely.
    Are there any themes that would work well with this?
    Do you need more info?

    Thank You for the time you have taken to read this far,
    Peace and Respect
    Sywo
     
  2. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    The only thing is that devouring the slayers is a bit harsh. But I think that the jewl thing is quite good, make it into a ring or necklace.
     
  3. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Sorry I should of said, when I sent devour, I sort of meant devouring their souls leaving their bodies alive, you know?
    Also, why must it be a ring or necklace? I was sort of envisioning it attaching to his headsets targeting reticule.
     
  4. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    Well it doesn't have to be a ring or necklace. How where you visioning him to find it?
     
  5. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Right, In writing I'm up to the stage where he lands on the first island. After this island, there are three more before he reachers the settlers. These islands are only small, but I don't want the story to be examine terrain, move on because that is boring. When I get to the settlers part It should be easier but I need to think of something that could make it more exciting and build it up, but also be tied into the plot. Any help appreciated!
     
  6. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    What exactly is a Slayer?

    Is it a government sponsored agency?
    A mercenary group?
    just a bunch of Bounty hunters who go after monsters, Monster Hunter style?
    A genetically modified individual who's sole purpose is to destroy monsters, perhaps with the genetic modification of being part monster?

    Also the story's pretty good, but it doesn't seem much like Fantasy, more like SciFi. Or at least in the middle of the Sliding Scale of Fantasy vs. Science Fiction.
     
  7. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    In total honesty, I did plan on having some technology in my fantasy stories, but more magic fueled.

    To answer your question Edward a slayer is an individual who is part of the slayers guild, an organization that is extremely rich and well equiped. Any individual or organization is liable to hire the guilds services, which range from exploring, hunting, assassination and slaying dangerous creatures. Empress Laurana von Kerlnii has asked for the slayers guild to explore and help repopulate the islands to the east of the mainland. These islands were once densely populated, and extremely wealthy but all the majority of the settlers ended up dead. So five slayers have been sent to purge the islands of potential threats and find any mineral, or magical wealth.

    To become a slayer a subject is watched over the first 20 years of their life. The guild then asks them if they wish to join. If they refuse, they die. This is so the talented potential individuals can't be used s threats by the empires enemies. They are then taken on courses to improve their abilities. Llanthus has a weapon called a Crossrifle, a combination rifle and crossbow.

    As for the slayers being part monster, I'm already ahead of you there. One of the five slayers, Rathur, was exposed to extremely high levels of Auracitic Radiation upon entry to the guild, allowing him to unleash a Kronah's inate ability to kill.

    Does that clear things up for you? I suppose I've droned on abit, kudos to you if you read all that!
     
  8. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    So there's Magitech, eh? Interesting.

    So what happens if someone is just so good that they manage to kill the Slayer that comes to recruit them?
    How do Slayers feel about having to kill innocent people?
    Are there people who have things to say about the Slayers doing this?
    Do people who don't want to be Slayers just not get strong as one?
    How does the Empress herself feel about this?
    Repopulate in a Biblical sense?
    Are the Slayers the pinnacles of high society, or a frightening necessity that the common people fear?
    When you say Kronah, what's that, a monster or some type of demon creature?
    Is it's innate ability to kill a Berserker Mode or some type of magic attack?
    What kind of threats, ghosts? Goblins? Demons? Monsters? Insane villagers with crazy parasites inside of them and a local cult that kidnapped the president's daughter, and Llanthus is a bad enough dude to get her back?
    Am I just asking questions to make you think about the world? Well, yeah.
     
  9. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    I was hoping you would ask questions I'm in a thinking mood. :D
    I'll I answer your questions in order so lets start:

    1. If a individual is powerful enough to kill the recruitment slayer, then a group of three slayers are sent to recruit the individual, or have them killed. If the individual is still alive, the slayers guild must destroy the individual ASAP as they are a classed as an active threat.

    2. The majority of slayers have honed their minds to ignore the fact they have to kill inoccents by thinking that it is for the greater good. Some slayers, like Llanthus try to avoid killing inoccents while on missions, unless absolutely nescessary.

    3. To the general people, the slayers are a ghost of peoples minds, as the work of a slayer can be mostly discreet, unless a Wer is rampaging through a town. Infact some people use the slayers like we would use the monster under the bed, a tale used to frighten children. However to higher classes of people, the Slayers are seen as nescessary and their work is mostly appreciated.

    4. The Empress herself is content with sending the slayers, as each Empress must learn the teachings of various forms of combat, including the path of the slayer. she knows their duty and respects them for the part they play in assisting the kingdom.

    5. For repopulation I must make it clear, this place was once empty of society. Then the first settlers came, but they all vanished. This is the next attempt for the empire to spread to these reaches of the world.

    6. From the missions a slayer recieves, they do become quite rich, however, they are generally too attached to their jobs. Most slayers spend money on equipment, or to support the families they left behind. All a slayer could need is house within the Guild Halls, including food.

    7. This question I think is easily explained. Kronah are the dominant race of my world. You could describe them as High Elves. They have red eyes, pointed ears, and a glimmering scar on either arm, that is the colour of twilight. If a Kronah is exposed to Auracitic (Magical) Radiation, they will resort to a beast like state. Normally the body dies but can still be used my the mind due to being charged by the radiation. They are no longer a Kronah, but an Orzii. (The same process can hapen to an angel, but that is known as an Orziiail.) However Rathur's body is not dead, so his mind has managed to retain some intelligence.

    8. The inate ability of a Kronah is to survive. If the Kronah is naturally magical, all moral restraints on the use of magic are removed. If not, then the body will naturally evolve into forms more suitable to ripping people apart.

    9. All of the threats there are worthy of a slayers attention, though you must be careful with goblins. It may be a goblin, or a group of goblins, but the whole race may not be evil. Same goes for the Lurz. (Orcs)

    Anymore questions? I'm thinking of doing some diehard world building, and you seem to be the guy to work with. I've seen some of your other threads, and I enjoyed reading them. You sure can ask questions that get the mind going;)
     
  10. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    I don't mind. Though I can't really think of anything to ask at the moment.

    Got a map? What kind of countries are there? if there's an Empress is the main country an Empire? Does it acquire territory through conquest, economics, or more political means?
    What are these "enemies of the Empire" you spoke of? They have anything to do with the story?
     
  11. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    I do have a map, though its spread over five pieces of A4 and is a load of pants. I'm starting the world building process with the solar system. At the moment it has a star, (Sol) and four planets, the four planets mimicing the first four planets of our solar system.
    The planet that this story takes place on is Mayaden.
    The Empire takes a combination of methods when claiming land, sometimes peacefully annexing these places, other times through war.
    The enemies of the Empire come in many forms:
    People; Obviously civil war is possible.
    Monsters; Corrupted creatures, advanced predators.
    The Old One; The King of the Old Ones, the god like creatures from the void of space.
    The End; The Being whose prescense brings about the end of all.

    All of the above, except the End, effect the story in some way.

    Should I make a new worldbuilding thread? Also, do you know any good websites that explain where things like deserts and swamps etc. geographically occur. Any good language making help sites? Am I in over my head?
     
  12. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    No, no, but I can help a little, not really, but there's a thing called a Trigram Generator that I use for coming up with names. Just type in a long list of words and phrases and use those. Yes, you are, but you always will be.

    Those are your answers respectively.
     
  13. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Thanks for the link, its very interesting, and more importantly helpful. Do you have any advice for map making? Should I post the maps I've scanned into my computer to show you? Give me your opinion?

    How do you insert images? I've never used the feature before.
     
  14. Edward
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    Edward Active Member

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    upload the image to flickr and copy the image's link into the messagebox.

    My advice for mapmaking is to look at other fictional maps, as well as to look at the map of the world.

    Generally speaking North is cold, south is hot, though if things go on far enough south becomes cold. Or if it's in the southern hemisphere then it's the opposite. Mountains and rivers are the best places for borders. All Islands are by definition mountains that reach out of the water. Rivers flow down from mountains, not up.

    Also, "A Wizard did it" is a good excuse and all, but gets tiresome quickly. If any places don't fit in their respective climes, give a convincing reason. Like this Auric Radiation, I don't really know how it works, but I'm assuming it's radiating from something like other forms of radiation. If you've got giant Auric rocks or whatever giving off huge amounts of radiation, then it would actually be more unusual for the area to conform to normal circumstances. I mean if you've got magic stuff just giving off magic cancer all over the place, then the area would most likely have monsters instead of bunny rabbits.
     
  15. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    I've tried to use flickr, but it says I need a Yahoo account, and I can only make one if I am 18, which I'm not. Any suggestions?

    Thanks for the tips on where things crop up in the world.
    The Auracitic Radiation is one of my favourite things about my world. It originates from Aurac Crystal, along with distortional electromagnetic radiation. In small amounts, the radiation is harmless. In larger amounts, it can mutate, kill and spread cancers like wildfire. Because of its properties, numrous methods have been created to control the radiation. This is where magic comes from. Of course some people have the crystal in their bodies naturally, (Either woven into their cardiac muscle or a small amount embedded in their cytoplasm) so can use magic freely. owever the use of the radiation decays the crystal, eventually causing energy to be leeched from the user. The crystal naturally restores itself. Any radiation emitted by Aurac inside the body cn be channeled into objects to dispell it harmlessly. It can also be applied to rocks or crystals to from new Aurac cystals.

    After all of that I can't remember why I said it all. All of the above will probably change.
    Simply put, Auracitic Radiation is Magic. Aurac crystal is the raw material needed. The rest will probably change countless times.;)

    Talk about info dumping.:D
     
  16. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Ok, Here are my maps, all of the same planet.

    In the middle: [​IMG]

    To the West: [​IMG]

    To the East: [​IMG]

    To the North: [​IMG]


    C.ick to Enlarge.
    What do you think. Remember,They are only rough drafts!
     
  17. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Oh, and heres the the land to the south: To the South: [​IMG]
     
  18. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    I think that there are some good ideas here Sywo. The pictures of the maps are a bit shady. The link looks quite good but I can't download it because my computer is vista. My advice would be to use Latin. Most of the languages throughout the real world are based on Latin. So try a bit of latin and develop a languge.

    Skralo.
     
  19. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Though Latin is the root of many languages I don't want my language to be too Latin sounding. But before I get to making words, I've got to work out what sounds I want my language to have.
     
  20. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    Cool, well its just a thought. When you've worked it all out let me know.
     
  21. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    No problem Skralo! Do you have any worldbuilding stuff going on at the moment?
     
  22. Skralo
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    Skralo Member

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    Umm... Yeah am doing some sort of cave planet.
     
  23. lordofhats
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    lordofhats Contributing Member

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    Latin has been beaten to death in terms of fantasy languages. Try Greek, German, or just throw abunch of letters and syllabys together. Honestly I'm as tired of latin as I am of dragons and wizards.
     
  24. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Parts of my language sound vaguely German, such as the two of the cities, Plazensie and Aurasie, along with the Empress Luarana von Kerlnii. Then there is the north, Kalvellakai. I like german, fun sounds!

    If I ever used Latin, I wouldn't make a new language entirely based of it. English is a combination of all sorts of languages so my new one should be to. (In theory;))

    And I don't think there is anyhting wrong with dragons and wizards as long as they are done nothing like Christopher Paolini.;)
     
  25. Sywo
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    Sywo Member

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    Just finished thinking up how my world was made. I must say though that it took far too long. Here it is:

    At first there was nothing. But then the oppoite of nothing became real, the Creator. The Creator was something, and strived to create more. And so the create made matter, and planted the seeds of life across the stars. The Creator then made the Old Ones, each to guard an aspect of the universe. Then the Creator, its purpose forfilled, difused into its creation.

    Hows about that for a rough draft?! Any similarities to other authors/worlds?
     

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