Favorite quote from your main character

The name Jack Daniels actually has a rather nice ring to it.

 

Haha, it does, but all I think of when I hear that name is the alcohol.

 

Newest one from my current project, due to how out of context this following quote could be...

Mari: It took you two long enough... I was beginning to think that you two wouldn't come.
Mune: "Wouldn't come"?! I wasn't going to come, but this genius here forced me!
N: Huh? *gestures to self* Me?
Mune: Yes! You! You!

 

“I only stabbed you once, nothing get to your panties in a wad over.” -Cherry

 

I scrambled up as quick as I could, dusting off my skirt. "Right, back to the elves it is."
"Really? I can't deal with stuck up bastards today!" Arthur moaned, rubbing his knee.

 

I have two, one from a Villain and one from a... Wondering drunk.

The Villain explains why he went through an expensive bodily reconstruction surgery to change himself from a white man into a black woman before becoming one fo the leaders of his nation. "I didn't start off with a spoon in my mouth, I have experienced life in both the putrid streets and the souless towers. I've bled at the hands of the law, but I've also rebuilt it with my own hands, and yet... The funny thing is, when the blue suits are gunned down, it's justice until the suit is shaded; Then it's oppresion"

One of the main protaganists, a wondering drunk ex-pirate who's confronted by the brother of a woman he let die to save his own life (After the brother has a whole monolouge about his vengence). " No, I did not murder your sister. I just didn't take the higher road. So, you want a drink, or...?"

 

This is among my favourite lines—albeit a large list— in The Hateful Eight. When Kurt Russell leans back and belts it for the second time. So funny.

 

I can't, really.

I don't ever have my characters say anything that poignantly poignant

It is only very much within the context of the story that a comment is funny or significant.

As an example, a bright 7 year old girl wants to go backpacking for a month with her aunt. She's firmly told she's too young. She pitches a complete fit with screaming, yelling and stamping. The next day she shows up at her aunt's house as if she never lost her temper.

Months later, a false report to Child Protective Services is made by her father's ex-girlfriend, purely out of vindictiveness.

The family is anxious about what could happen if the CPS social worker turns out to be very conservative, as the family is unconventional. One of the brothers is gay and has his partner at the house quite often, they have an unrelated adult male guest with an intellectual disability, the sister is divorced, moved back home and has psychological problems, the child's father is often away from home due to his job as a lawyer, etc.

The little girl takes advantage of the situation and suggests that she could be very truthful, IF she is allowed to go on the backpacking trip, but she says so using legal terminology.

 

... Moving on to something less terrifying, I'm thinking that my second novel would start with a vampire mage / bank robber / terrorist bomber teaching my protagonists (a gang of drug dealers turned bank robbers) the basics of magic:

MC: "So that's a hard rule?"
Vampire: "Not really, you come up with any 'rule' you like and there's at least one mage in the world powerful enough to break it. You're just not one of them yet."

 

This was from an old piece that i wrote, and recently dug out from an old conversation with a friend, i wanted to rewrite this, and found this gem of an exchange between the MC (first line) and of all things a snow fox

“What the hell is this place, some sort of fun house of mindfuckery?” Brandon thought.


“That is exactly what it is Brandon Ray, a fun house of mindfuckery as you so kindly put it"

 

"All the atrocities that ever happened throughout human history all started out as a good idea."

 

From a short story I wrote as a teenager:

"There's not a chance in hell I would ever join a bunch of genetically modified potatoes!"

(Teenage girl insulting genetically engineered shapeshifting antagonists, in case anyone was wondering).

 

"So, if my job is brainwashing the new guys... does that mean I was brain washed? And where's that beeping coming from?"

 

another one liner that is amusing to me, i added the first line into this for a smidge of context

“Gods Above Sir Dresden isn’t there anyone here you haven’t been able to help within your group?” the councilmen asked.


“ironically, me and my damned personal life, I can run two countries, and train armies of people, but I cannot for the life of me keep my own personal life together.” Isake replied. “I agreed with you to be honest, now, granted, it isn’t all that bad because I do have structure with my working life, but I haven’t left that much time to look at your requests on the personal front, but given that I am expected to have an almost dwarfen life span, I would be defeating the object of some of it right now” Isake replied. “I shall kindly remind you that I am just approaching my centenary, and that I still have another four or five of those left.”

 

"If slapping you in the face with an electrified purple penis is wrong, then I don't want to be right."

 

I don't know the context, but this is a cracking line nonetheless!

 

I quite like this one from my secondary character (I know it's supposed to MC, so forgive me)

"I need to take a shower. I smell like something dead.'

 

Eros' favorite weapon is basically a giant dildo that shoots slugs. The end of it is also electrified, so....

 

This one's tickling my heart in all sorts of ways

"And then- and then we put something up our noses and now I feel weird!"

 

Mine is more of a paragraph. But meh I love it. It's at a point where my MC is just engrosed in revenge. His thoughts aren't clear, and his only focus is to cause as much pain as possible to sombody. Here it is anyway:

“A hero you say? Many view a hero as somebody who kills someone of great evil or badness. That is only a perception. If I kill you, would that not make me the bad guy? Yes I’m putting an and to an evil deserving of death, but it’s still murder. I would be as bad as you. But that doesn’t mean I’m good either. Take somebody fighting for say, your cause right? I’m against you, your the hero I'm the bad guy. I’m bad because I am stopping you from achieving your goals. It works vice versa. I’m the hero your the bad guy trying to stop me. We both kill or injure to get what we want. Who really is good or even bad? Good and evil, they are only a false perception. There is only Sin. Some sin greater than others. But who am I to take life? I am not the owner. Nor am I the giver. That doesn’t mean I have a minimum amount of sin. Quite the opposite. And I will make you wish for death. Cause you pain, incurable pain, the same pain which you caused me. Im going to make you wish you were never born. No. Rather im going to make you regret taking the love of my life away.”

 

This is actually from two of my main characters, is that OK?

Mr. Black nods. “You want to take your car or mine?”

Is he shitting me? Why can't we take Tony's –

– 2-seat Ferrari F50 that would draw more attention to us than a naked clown screaming "Feed me." Never mind, bad idea then.

Charlie bites her lip. “Yours is a Chevy Malibu, right? Fancy paint, pretty hubcaps, gangster-yet-legal window decals?”

Black nods again. “Yeah?”

“Mine’s a Ford: fuel tanks, chassis, engine. You don't want to go all Fred Flintstone on us, then we’re taking mine.“​

 

"No my love. I just don't much care for whores fucking my man." -Lilana-


"Well you could say that you’re a bit transparent on that end. Though to your credit, most men imagine me much more scantily clad, or completely nude.” She said to him. “Not you, but then again there is a nice appeal to you seeing me in a role of authority.” -Unknown Mystery Woman-

 

Wow, just simply wow!