1. Daryl
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    Daryl Member

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    Fear of failure!

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Daryl, Feb 1, 2012.

    how do you go about overcoming your fear of rejection and failure in life..i mean fear can be crippling and cause your entire body to shut down, stopping you from taking risks and working on your goals. is there any thing you can do to overcome this problem..i personally fear that i am not capable of writing and incredible book and because of that i tend to not be inspired or follow through with what i have started....:(
     
  2. Backbiter
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    Backbiter Contributing Member

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    You're not alone in this, my friend. I'm almost positive that nearly every writer - or every anything - goes through this at some point. I myself have had to overcome this multiple times.

    The way that I've tried to reason with myself is by deciding that it is better to have attempted to succeed and have failed than to have never even tried in the first place. If there's even the slightest chance of success, then it's better than sitting around and not even trying at all. I know it can be tough sometimes, but you have to kindle that fire of passion that you have for your work and let it take you where you never thought that you could go. More often than not, you'll surprise yourself by succeeding. If not, you should come away from the experience wiser and learning from any mistakes made.

    Another thing that I find helpful is when I have honest, loyal friends to encourage me as I go along. In my opinion, rough patches are always easier to get through with a good friend by your side.

    I really hope this helped.
     
  3. Daryl
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    Daryl Member

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    :)...sure makes a whole lot of sense
     
  4. Kallithrix
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    Kallithrix Banned

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    This same darkness awaits every writer in the wee small hours, Daryl. Every time someone praises my work I undermine them by pointing out all the stuff that sucks about it. At the weekend I even asked my agent whether she took me on because she thought I could write well or just because she was doing me a favour. Fear of writing complete gobshite makes me not want to hand in my work until I'm completely happy with it, which I never am. Deadlines get missed, and sometimes the work never materialises at all. But I am determined not to do that this time. I just have to trust in my agent to tell me whether it sucks or not, and if so give me feedback to help me improve. Unless you find the self discipline and fortitude to see your endeavours through to conclusion, there is no chance of success, there is only fail.
     
  5. Miss Jo
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    Miss Jo Member

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    "Just believe in yourself " sounds lame and is a cliche but it's true. If you don't like what you write then you can't expect anyone else too. It is scary putting your work out there and no one can erase that for you. My advice is just take a deep breath and hit the Send button.

    For me personally I've NOT done enough things in my life that I have come to look back on and think "why didn't I just..." I don't regret (or I try not to dwell on it anyway) I just make a decision NOW to not let it pass me by again.

    For writing purposes I would advise you read a lot of the posts on here critiquing others works. You will learn that this is a pretty safe place to air your works in case you don't have someone in your life who can offer you the support or critiquing you need. You will see some posts that are maybe a little rough, some are totally random, but for the absolute majority every one here has felt the same way you feel about their writing. You will learn how to pick out the comments that are meant to be constructive and the ones that are meant for someone who just loves to hear the sound of their own fingers typing.

    In the end if you don't try, you can't move forward. It's all a work in progress for all of us.
     
  6. MegTheLedge
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    MegTheLedge Member

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    I have a serious fear of failure problem. What I've learned to do to get over it is to not care about what people may think of my writing until after it's written. I write things that I would want to read, and as soon as it becomes something I don't want to read, then I know I need to change direction or stop altogether. Don't let fear judge you, let your own taste in literature judge you.
     
  7. picklzzz
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    picklzzz Senior Member

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    Hi Daryl,

    I could have written the same post just six months ago! Seriously, my whole life, I let fear rule me in a lot of things. A friend suggested I start small with some short stories. What really motivated me was entering contests like they have on this forum. They give you a topic and it gave me a real sense of purpose. I got more and more creative as I went, and i can proudly say (proud of myself for trying to overcome my fears) that I have written over twenty-six short stories in the past four or five months. I have sixty pages of two novels started, but three more ideas going and a whole new novel I'm starting. If anything, it's enjoyable. I already love my current job (not as a writer), so I'm viewing it as fun. Sure, I hope I get published, but I'm taking that out of my head right now. Write for you! Write for fun. Then, if you get the courage, submit to a magazine. Don't focus on the novel now. It's like trying to climb Mt. Everest before even scaling a bunny hill or something. Start small and make sure you get the pleasure out of it. If not, it's not good for you and then you shouldn't do it!

    So, I submitted my first story and it got rejected. i thought it was the best thing I ever wrote (and still do), but I got rejected without explanation. I let it get me down for a few days, and sure it is scary, but people on here and in my real life were so supportive, I am over it. AT least I did it, and that's what counts. I may resubmit in time, but now I'm focusing on something else.

    I think though the bottom line is to start small. Also, read some books about writing and websites related for ideas. I found tons of websites by googling in "story ideas" and there's all kinds of generators with writing exercises to get the creative juices flowing. Now, i can't stop thinking of ideas, and fear no longer rules me!

    Good luck, and I hope we see some of your stories soon! (or when you're ready :)
     
  8. picklzzz
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    picklzzz Senior Member

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    I second what Miss Jo said about this forum. I used to go on an educational forum in my field, and no matter what I wrote, people slammed me and each other. It was disgusting. This forum is great! Everyone is very supportive and helpful and not once in the last several months since I've been on here has anyone been rude to me. It is a nice place to get your feet wet! It's done wonders for me!
     
  9. shakespear57
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    shakespear57 Member

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    I have the same fear, but i have a reason for it - i've been writing stories since i could walk and every single one has been scorned by my family. Soon it caused major depression and I'm still struggling to get out of that. But I've kept on going. Now I've finished school (I quit at year ten) and I'm more determined than ever to write something that not only I but my family could be proud of. Dont let go. Keep on trying. One day ... one day you'll make something awesome :D
     
  10. jc.
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    jc. Contributing Member

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    Hi Daryl.

    As you've already been told, you are not alone in your fear. Everyone (and by this I mean any person with some kind of dream) experiences this at least once in their lives. I noticed that when I get hit with this, the only thing to do is to do it. Just keep going, even if it's just writing simple words, seeing your progress (even something short, like a paragraph) can snap you back to reality.

    As others have said, it's okay to be scared, but don't give up. I was told by an old teacher that the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. Just remember that whenever you feel scared or overwhelmed, you are not alone. You will always find a helping hand in WF. ;)

    Best of luck!
    JC
     
  11. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    Well, it's not as if authors write something and promptly get published. I would guess that virtually all of them - so close to "all" as to make the exceptions irrelevant - had their writing rejected many, many times, and that before that they wrote huge quantities of writing that wasn't even good enough to submit to someone. So when you write something that you hate, or you submit something that gets rejected, that's an experience that you share with essentially every writer who was ever published.
     
  12. WordMagician2K
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    WordMagician2K New Member

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    Well, I just roll with the punches! I try to work hard on my defense--so I can avoid getting hit(failure teach me to keep going to I finally succeed).

     
  13. Daryl
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    Daryl Member

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    thanks for all the support guys..glad to know i'm not in this by myself..i'm taking it slow but i don't plan on quitting...that"s just not an option...:)
     

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