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  1. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    flash animation project

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Aleque, Jul 4, 2007.

    Hello

    I am currently making an animation project which will be split up into episodes. I am not a professional writer, and I would appreciate alot any help with my story.

    My story is about a character who has lost everything, that makes his life worth living, and decides to end his life. When he is standing on the top of the building and prepares to fall down, the moment before he lets go, he hears a woman scream, who is being attacked on the other side of the same roof. He saves her, by knocking the guy out, who is chocking her, and doesn't even resist their attack, knowing that he is already dead. They start to beat him brutally. The woman tries to make them stop, but no use - she gives up and runs, while the thugs continue to beat the guy up. The woman starts to cry, knowing that she did/could not do anything to save the guy that saved her life. The thugs kick the guy out from the building. As the guy is falling down, he smiles with relief, that he at least can die with dignity, seeing flashbacks of highlights of his life, that is long gone. The woman sees him fall down through the window from below floor, and the guy gets a glimpse of her, touching the glass, looking at him and crying. Before the guy hits the ground, the screen instantly goes to black. Dead silence.

    Suddenly the guy still keeps falling, but the background is different. Psychodelic wormhole like spiral of shiny colors. He is heading towards the Abyss. He hits the ground like a meteor and gets up, coughing. Everything is different and he can't recognize any of the surroundings, nor knowing if that is even real.

    He meets someone who says, that he is his guide - and he is. The guide is a crazy, arrogant and funny creature (reminding of Hades from Hercules) He starts introducing the guy to the new place, explaining that he is not even dead, and this whole place is just a spot in a guys mind, where he is safe. (A state between reality, dream and subconsciousness). The guy comes to a castle, that supposed to be his mind and the guide starts to explain to the guy, that he has an offer for him; to do some tasks for the guide, and in exchange get his life back and make everything right. So the guy signs the contract and as a bonus gets his first skill. So he gets introduced with this skill (to be able to fight in a melee combat, occasionally predicting moves and being able to study environments for objects, that can be used as weapons, by highlighting in his point of view). The condition of using this skill is; The guy must be in uncounscious frenzy-form, means that he does not acts of his free own will but on the behalf of his instinct of revenge and justice. He trains for awhile in The Abyss with this new power, and gets ready to "Return".

    The character "ressurects".
    (Now you see him as a predator - merely as a shade, a shadow - a killing avenger. If you imagine that there is a killer and a victim in a horror film, the main character now is a killer, and you don't see him directly, while in his frenzy-form, making it more spooky with his presence)

    He tracks down the guys, who killed him and one by one, brutally massacres them in the most painful ways, making them as sorry as hell. And then ofcourse completes the first tast of his guide (which I am not sure of yet)

    The guy wakes up in a motel room with alot of cash and carkeys to a very fancy looking car, parked outside - the belongings of previously killed badguys. The guy is shocked. On TV he sees his own massacre investigation on the news. And some shocked witness is being interviewed: "The guy was moving so fast, almost inhumane! It was more like a... a... a cat! And I didn't get a look of his face... it's ..like... like the shadow was following him everywhere he went."

    The guy can't belive this and reports him self to the police. He gets charged as guilty and put into prison. But when someone pisses him of while sitting in his prison cell, he enters that frenzy state once agan and his guide was like "what took you so long?! I almost thought you forgot our deal". The guy gets new power - Telekinesis, and it is being explained by the guide theoreticly and convincing, how it is possible to move objects without touching them. The guy tests that power as well in the Abyss and suddenly wakes up in his cell - in frenzy-form once again. Sitting in a very relaxed position, smiling evil and testing his skill on a very simple object. Then he succeeds to get out from the cell with this skill (for instance by stealing keys remotely).
    *********************************
    The story continues that way: The guy is getting new powers and makes new tasks, meeting annoying people on his way, who he makes suffer. Meets people as well who were cruel to him in his past and gets flashbacks of bad memories, and in order to kill those flashbacks, he has to kill/punish the cruel persons as well. He will get some neat powers, formulas to metals yet unknown to mankind, uses his imagination to create unique weapons.

    He gets some very evil horror fantasies as well, that symbolises his current state, for instance; he wakes up in a clinical room with no windows or doors, and there is a light in the middle of the room, blinking (turning of and on randomly) and every time it turns on, the room gets smaller

    The final episode of the film is: the guy is on the top of the roof once again trying to kill him self - exactly same scene as the first one. Only this time, there is no woman screaming and he jumps, and you realise that everything, that happened earlier with: woman, powers, revenge, etc - was only his imagination of few seconds while truly falling down to the ground. He falls, he dies - The End


    Please be so kind to comment the story so far, and tell me what kind of depressions the guy could have before the suicide attempt: I was thinking about following:

    *his best and only friend got killed

    (sub-depressions)

    *girlfriend cheating on him
    *unfairly fired from his job
    *his bank account is closed
    *he has been diagnosed with a lethal disease (could be brain tumor due to his psychological state)


    Thanks in advance
     
  2. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    With his best and only friend getting killed maybe you could have it that his killing is dismissed by the law, or that they come to the conclusion that he wasn't killed, maybe suicide or if a car accident, maybe they say he was the driver or at fault when he wasn't.
    Maybe the perpetrator gets off scott free. The could have the perpetrator in custody and he goes to court, whatever, but they simply let him off with no conviction at all. That is enough to send anyone over the edge in my honest opinion.
    Just something to think about anyways. But it does sound good. I just don't get why he would kill himself if he had made his life worth living...If he had overcome things and made his life worth while, wouldn't he want to live??

    Otherwise it does sound rather interesting in my opinion.

    ~Torana
     
  3. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    Hello Torana

    I thank you alot for your very constructive reply. That helped me think about something.

    You are right - it is good idea to amplify and magnify one problem rather than having 5 "minor" problems.

    Sounds like a brilliant idea with the guy, who was murdered, but have been set up, so that it looks like accident/suicide. I was thinking about rephrasing the following in what I wrote;

    Perhaps the main character doesn't know YET, that it was a setup, but his guide the the Underworld shows him the truth (his guide is an evil and manipulative bastard, who would give him any reason to go back to his life, just to complete his own (guides) tasks for him), and THEN the guy finally have a good reason to go back and make everything right. To bring justice and kill the perpetrator, in stead of "getting his life back", as I wrote earlier.

    Perhaps there is some kind of conspiracy, that kills the guy's friend, with several people behind plan (who later will die as well).

    "Just something to think about anyways. But it does sound good. I just don't get why he would kill himself if he had made his life worth living...If he had overcome things and made his life worth while, wouldn't he want to live??"
    <-- actually I think you misunderstand. The last scene where he is about to jump, is exactly same scene as in the first episode. Meaning that everything happened after/including the woman and thugs was not real. And everything with his guide, training and revenge is something he imagined in fragments of seconds while falling. And that's why he does not know the truth. But the question is, if the things he imagines while falling was true, or something he imagined was true. I don't know if this sounds too confusing?


    EDIT: Regarding the last episode: perhaps his friend is not even dead at all (for instance you could see the guy's phone is ringing with his friends name on it, but the guy can't hear it, since the sound is muted and jumps anyway... or something like that), and the reason the main character wants to end his life, is completely different.
     
  4. Aleque
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    Aleque Member

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    Finally I've got it all figured out about the last scene:

    The guy (at the stage of the suicide attempt) doesn't know yet, that his friend's death was a setup/murder. That's why he sticks to his dicision. Only the screaming woman and 3 thugs does not show up this time. You could interpret it as if it the woman and thugs, was only his "what-if" imagination before his final action.

    Pretty sad story, but I am tired of happy endings with pink skies and smiles. I think people would want to watch this movie one more time, rather than if it had a happy ending.


    "Maybe the perpetrator gets off scott free. The could have the perpetrator in custody and he goes to court, whatever, but they simply let him off with no conviction at all. That is enough to send anyone over the edge in my honest opinion."
    <-- What do you mean by "send anyone over the edge"? To kill your self or to go into revenge-frenzy?
     

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