1. Lilly James Haro
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    Lilly James Haro The Grey Warden

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    Contest Winner! Flash Fiction Contest #17 - Demons, Well Done Criticalsexualmass!

    Discussion in 'Bi-Weekly Flash Fiction Contest Archives' started by Lilly James Haro, Feb 7, 2015.

    Let’s all say congratulations to the newest winner of the Flash Fiction Contest, @criticalsexualmass who wrote the entry, Demons. Well Done! Thank you to all who entered and all who read the entries and voted, we wouldn’t be able to hold these contests without you guys.

    @Wreybies, if you could please present the medal :)
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Just thought people might like to read the winning story:

    "Demons (247 words)

    My kitchen is always cluttered, even after I clean it. Maybe it’s too small, or maybe I’m just overly negative about everything. Sure, there are some dirty dishes in the sink, but just a few coffee cups and glasses. The groceries are put away, the chairs pushed under the table. I don’t know, nothing looks right anymore. Not like this, anyway.

    There’s a simple nightly routine now. Get in from work, fill the little ice bucket. In my pocket is a fresh bottle of bourbon. I leave it on the table with the ice while I look for a clean glass.

    I spend evenings with my bottles now, laughing about past victories and defeats, wondering how things could be different. I’m alone, and it’s my fault. I drove them all away. Sometimes, I wonder where my friends are. Other times I just wish I had her back, and the kids would come home. Every night is a replay of the Life that Was. Eventually, everyone gets a turn, their memories playing in my head like video.

    As the bottle empties I notice my reflection at its corner. I see my face, bloated and distorted, the edges of my head pulled away into horns as my image follows the curve of the bottle to the open cap. I turn my head slightly, and the horns blend back into my head, my reflection looking suddenly normal. But I saw them, and I know that the horns belong to me."

    Congrats! I loved it.
     
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  3. criticalsexualmass
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    criticalsexualmass Active Member

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    Hey, thanks everyone! So, Ginger, you promised to tell about how you made your decision and that you thought there were two winners, you gotta spill it now!
     
  4. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    OK, hopefully people won't be offended by unasked for critique.

    Demon, Inc was a good story but would have been better if not for the beginning. In flash fiction using the first ~100 words of a ~400 word story telling us something the story was not about was an issue for me. I didn't see how the beginning moved the story forward.

    Onward might have been a good story but walls of text lose points from me right away. A writer needs to know where paragraphs start and stop.

    So that left Demon and Him and I thought they were both very good. It came down to the ending of both stories and I went with psychological thriller (did he/she or did he/she not really see the horns) over hard core horror. Both stories were winners though, in my opinion.

    On a side note, we need more voters in the flash fiction contest.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2015
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  5. Lancie
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    Lancie Contributing Member

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    Well done @criticalsexualmass, it was a really good one.
     

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