1. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    Foster Care

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by zorell, Jul 3, 2008.

    Foster Care, an institution in many societies, it has its ups and downs, advantages, and disadvantages. This thread is for the discussion of said institution. Be open minded and honest but also remeber to adhere to the posting guidelines as stated for all other discussion forums, we don't want to lose this because people posted with out thinking.


    Alright, let me start by saying that I live in a foster home, so I know somethings. But I also want you to know that I am not a foster child, so I don't know it all. I also want it noted that everybody has different foster experiences (I can tell a few horror stories regarding my many temporary siblings), and that unless you have lived somebody elses life, you cannot truly feel what ever pain or experience they might have felt. This said, let us know your thoughts and feelings about this omniprecent institution we call FOSTER CARE.


    Foster Care also has laws regarding confidentiality, please do not state full or partial names of others who have been, or are still part of the Foster Care System. Thank You.
     
  2. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Ultimately the foster care system, regardless of advanages and disadvantages, is a necessity as society is producing many children who would otherwise be without a caring guardian. I've seen numerous students who have flourished under the care of a foster parent and it has made the difference in their lives.
     
  3. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    I've known a lot of foster parents who truly cared for the children coming in and out of their homes. I've also seen first hand the effects the ruthless have on the fragile gem that is a child.
     
  4. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    True but ruthlessness can occur with both foster and biological parents.
     
  5. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    I know, but part of the reason for Foster Care was to protect these children from such a situation, why should they be thown into another?
     
  6. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    I'm not disagreeing. I'm simply saying that in many cases there are more kids than foster homes and unfortunately this lets the bad ones slip through.
     
  7. Gone Wishing
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    I've lived in foster care, my experience was better than a lot of other peoples, though not ideal. I've also lived in a half-way house for young girls with nowhere else to go - it was run by youth workers and was the single greatest place I had the privelege of living in when I was going through a long period of instability, as we were allowed some of the idependence of living on our own, coupled with quasi-parental guidance. I know which situation out of the two I preferred. :)

    Perhaps stricter suitability testing is required.
     
  8. SonnehLee
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    SonnehLee Contributing Member Contributor

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    Two kids at our church, 2 and 7, maybe 8, are in foster care, and they have the most wonderful foster parent they could have. Their foster mom does so well with them.

    I don't know how it is for other children, but the system can be great. I know that someday, a long time from now, I would love to be a foster parent.
     
  9. ugu
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    ugu Member

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    I did a research on foster care system last semester and I can't say I would recommend it.

    I still think the world would be a nicer place if people who aren't eligible for having children don't have children. That's my solution for almost every problem in the world.
     
  10. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    Everybody would wish that, but you can't enforce such a thing legally because it's just a tad communistic, if you get my drift. Also, some children in the FC are the "result" (I hate that discription) of a rape or highly volitile home situation. There are also people who are more then capable of having and taking care of their children, untill life throws them a curve ball, some children are in the system because a parent died and they had no other family to take care of them. Either that, or their other parent or family members would not step up to the plate and have a heart.
     
  11. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    foster care has a place in society. I think of it as a necessary evil.
    There are lousy foster parents but then there are lousy parents.
    I wish there was better screening of potential foster parents.
    We had a foster child when I was 13 until I was 15. My parents treated him
    exactly like they treated us. He did not respond to them at all. Finally he left
    and we never heard from him again.
    My parents should never have been allowed to be FP.
    They were lousy parents in the caring dept. We were never hungry, or dressed
    poorly. We just didn't get much love or support. We were constantly being put
    down so it was not a happy time.
    But the children's aid society saw how wonderful my parents were in public so the
    jumped at the chance to get them involved.
    Fred was never abused or anything but my parents didn't have the skill to reach him.
    He lived but didn't enjoy life at all.
    I still wonder what happened to him. I always thought of him as my brother.
     
  12. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    I share that same sentiment about every child that enters the house, they are my sibling(s) if only for a day, or a week. So far, however, my mother has literally raised my lil bro, he came to us at 4 days old, he's about two and half now. He's my brother, no step, no foster nor adopted, he will always be my brother.
     
  13. lessa
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    I always wanted to be a foster parent but we never stayed in one place long enough.
    We have lived here for 23 years but my health deteriorated so I never got the chance.
    I still think I missed out on helping a lot of children.
    I feel I could have made a difference in their lives if they were troubled.
    Oh well maybe in my next lifetime.
    Can always live and dream.
     
  14. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    I'm only 16, but already the FC workers are trying to convince me to either become a worker or a parent. I guess they kind of sense things, and I'd love to help children, but I don't think I'm parent material, I'm more of a mentor, you know? But, Lessa, you could always volunteer with your local office, they're often understaffed and overworked at a thankless job, every little teeny bit helps.
     
  15. Rebekkamaria
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    Rebekkamaria Senior Member

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    I don't really know anything about being a foster parent or a child in a foster family, but I think the idea is wonderful... if the people who are foster parents are like zorell's parents. :-D And I think you zorell have been very important to all of these children, because you've treated them like your siblings. That's something very normal and grounding. It gives hope.

    I'm not surprised that they would want you to continue your parents' work. :-D
     
  16. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    Parent, let me stress that my mother is a single Foster Parent. But thank you, and I'll pass it along to her.
     
  17. Rebekkamaria
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    Rebekkamaria Senior Member

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    ^Ah, sorry. I thought that it might be so (that this was what you meant), but then was uncertain if the system would allow single parenting. :-D
     
  18. zorell
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    zorell Contributing Member

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    It's okay, there are actually a lot of single parents who are also Foster Parents. I didn't mean to come off so defensive by the way.
     

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