Someone launching into a rant about how terrible their parents were. The next part would be something along the lines of "Case in point, my parents."
I put a period between properly and yet. The second sentence feels like it should be long winded, so I also removed two of the commas fromit that subordinated the clause "almost thirty years of parental fuck-ups later."
Some people should not be parents, plain and simple. Seriously folks, these are people who don't like children, never wanted them in the first place, and don't have the slightest fucking clue about raising them properly yet, for whatever reason, decided to reproduce anyway and now, almost thirty years of parental fuck-ups later, can't figure out how their little bundle of joy became a drug addict. 1.) Slight change of wording - "Some people should not be parents, plain and simple. Seriously folks, these are people who don't like children, never wanted them in the first place, and don't have the slightest fucking clue about raising them properly yet. These people should have the snip; yes, a fucking vasectomy so that they can't go on to pollute the world with their shitty mongrel genetics. This would save the world of generations of parental fuck-ups who can't figure out how their little bundle of joy became a drug addict." (you can tone down the swearing of course if you want You can swap vasectomy for sterilisation or something to that effect)
Broken-up rewrite: Some people should not be parents, plain and simple. Seriously folks, these are people who don't like children and never wanted them in the first place. They don't have the slightest fucking clue about raising them properly yet, for whatever reason, decided to reproduce anyway. Now, almost thirty years of parental fuck-ups later, they can't figure out how their little bundle of joy became a drug addict.
My two cents (and worth every penny) is applying a stark, direct tone. Some people should not be parents, plain and simple. These people don't like children, never wanted them in the first place, and don't have the slightest fucking clue about how to raise them properly. For whatever reason, they decided to reproduce. Now, thirty years of parental fuck-ups later, they can't figure out how their little bundle of joy became a drug addict.
I dunno, you lost me with the lack of connection between "Some people should not be parents" with which I agree, and, "These people don't like children, never wanted them in the first place," I know lots of people who wanted children, and had them deliberately, but should be barred from raising them. The fact that someone doesn't interrupt the rant, at that point kills it for me. I'd rephrase. I also have a problem with "and don't have the slightest fucking clue." Not because of the language but because there are words that serve no purpose. There's no difference in meaning between: and don't have the slightest fucking clue and don't have the slightest clue and don't have a fucking clue and don't have a clue Except that the first three slow the narrative with meaningless words.We report the essence of the conversation, not the conversation, itself.
I'd have to respectfully disagree with JayG. It is a rant. What you call "meaningless words" are actually seasoning, creating tone rather than meeting some technical definition.
I dunno, I kind of like it as one sentence starting with "Seriously." Gives more of the effect of someone letting it all out in one big barf of emotion. I'd edit it to read like this: Some people should not be parents, plain and simple. Seriously, folks, these are people who don't like children, never wanted them in the first place, and don't have the slightest fucking clue about raising them properly, yet for whatever reason decided to reproduce anyway, and now, almost thirty years of parental fuck-ups later, can't figure out how their little bundle of joy became a drug addict. Or if you want the speaker to seem a bit more under control, try this: Some people should not be parents, plain and simple. Seriously, folks, these are people who don't like children, never wanted them in the first place, and didn't have the slightest fucking clue about raising them properly. Yet for whatever reason they decided to reproduce anyway. And now almost thirty years of parental fuck-ups later, they can't figure out how their little bundle of joy became a drug addict. Very similar to MrReliable's suggestion above, but note change of tense from "don't" to "didn't" in sentence 2. Note also the comma after "seriously" in both suggestions. It's needed, as "folks" operates as a vocative. I mean, what does it mean to be seriously folks, anyway? The opposite of being frivolously folks?
Unless you can hear the tone in which they're spoken, see the body language and facial expressions that go with the words, or know what drove that person to speak in that way, they're just words on paper and all linkage to the speaker is missing. If the speaker is someone who sprinkles such language in every sentence, the words are equivalent to "uhhh." "So I went down the uhh...street and met this uhh...guy going the other way. He was the kind of uhh...person who..." Substitute any word you care to, from "ya'know" to "fucking" and the meaning, and the emotion is unchanged—from the reader's POV. Sure the writer had a specific intent in mind, but intent dribbles off the words as they pass through the modem.
When it comes to writing, be it a blog, novel, essay, or short story, we must always remember to sacrifice tone in order to meet that omnipotent technical definition. Didn't you know that?
@Alesia, I find the rant grating. It uses a cheap cop-out of why someone is the way they are because of circumstance. Perhaps it's in your story but I'd much rather see a singular event that the parent(s) perpetrated that broke the kid and swayed him to try hard drugs one night when they otherwise wouldn't. This, they never liked kids stuff is melodrama that does nothing for me except wish the person ill will.
Would we not put a comma before "folks," as in "Seriously, folks, ..."? Or is that old style? What's the rationale?
i've no clue what GMTA means... to answer the question, 'YES, a comma is needed there!' ... i don't see it as 'old style' at all... just grammatical...
