1. LCC
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    LCC Member

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    Fun with soap

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by LCC, Jan 24, 2011.

    I am thinking of getting into advertising jingles. Here is a non-specific jingle which I just wrote, to be sung to the tune of "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy. If you find it to be amusing, then please feel free to add your own ode to soap on this thread. I am not really looking for a critique of my effort, just having a little fun.


    I Am Bath Soap! verse one

    I am bath soap, feel me scrape
    as I caress along your nape,
    and I can clean all your utmost private parts!
    Skin sensations off the charts,
    as I glide on precious curves,
    and I light up all your trembling luminous nerves!

    Oh yes, I am soap
    bought at the grocery store!
    Oh yes, I am so cheap,
    but I can make you peep!

    As you use me,
    I will dissolve fast.
    I am clean soap!
    I make bathing a grope!
    So make me last!

    EDIT : 20 views at over two hours and no comments? Have another whirl at the soap bar :

    Joe South - Don't It Make You Want To Go Home?

    Don't It make you want to soap up?

    Don't it make you want to soap up now?
    Don't it make you want to soap up?
    Spray yourself with shower head made of chrome,
    and bubble up the soap suds into foam!
    Just don't shrivel up like a gnome…

    Oh the lather creams up around your knees,
    as you give that soap bar a squeeze.
    As you slather it on your tingling skin,
    you know that it's almost a sin.

    Rising up out of the bath suds,
    you scrub with your soapy wash rag.
    When you're dirty from grease and muds,
    coming clean is like a full money bag.

    Don't it make you want to get soapy now?
    Don't it make you want to soap up?
    Nice clean skin is better than sin,
    as a bonus you're ready to win,
    and you have squeaky clean skin.

    LOL want more? Name a tune and I'll try to oblige, just watch for when I am logged in, and see how long it takes...

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
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  2. Lavarian
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    Lavarian Contributing Member Contributor

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    All this soaping up and no happy ending?

    I am disappointed!
     
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  3. LCC
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    If you think that I am going to write all of the verses of a song for free, then you have another think a coming! This is just for fun, and to be a sort of competition, strictly on the subject of soap, running indefinitely...

    You want a happy ending? Hmm, here you go -

    Carpenters "Top of the World"

    My old soap did nothing for me.
    There was not enough lather to see.
    It also stung my poor eyes,
    an unpleasant surprise,
    and it was too gritty, not like a cream.

    Another thing, it was hardly free.
    It was costing me an elbow and a knee!
    My bathwater's like pea soup,
    full of an ugly green goop,
    and I can't live with that green stuff anymore.

    I have a new brand of soap,
    and it's not on a cord rope.
    There's joy to be found to my desires!
    I love my new soap brand,
    it makes me feel clean and grand,
    this soap has brightened up my inner fires!


    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  4. Lydia
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    Lydia Contributing Member Contributor

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    Does soap really need a song? It's just soap.
     
  5. LCC
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    LCC Member

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    "JUST SOAP"!!! Don't you feel a need to come clean about grime? LOL


    Bobby Vinton - "I love how you love me"

    I love how you clean me, when I start a new bath,
    and as you slither I see, grime's disappearing path.

    I love suds that raise foam in our big wet bathtub,
    but as my fingers roam, I just love scrub-a-dub.

    I love foaming lather, that floats on the water.
    As creamy waves gather, more big droplets splutter.

    That takes care of the first minute of the song…

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  6. Lavarian
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    Lavarian Contributing Member Contributor

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    I found the last one oddly arousing.

    Now do a soapy version of The Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin.
     
  7. LCC
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    LCC Member

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    OOH, that is gonna be tough, because I never heard of it, but I will check YouTube to see what I can do...
    Oops, I DO recall the song, working on it..

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  8. Lavarian
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    Lavarian Contributing Member Contributor

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    Yes you have. Trust me.
     
  9. Sabreur
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    Sabreur Contributing Member Contributor

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    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

    We come from the land of ice and soap

    ...and that's as far as I got.
     
  10. LCC
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    Try harder...

    Led Zepplin - "Immigrant song"

    Soap my BOD Y!
    Do it CHEAP LY!

    Let us all get wet without any regret.
    Scatter the foam as our fingers roam.
    Lather covers our slick skins,
    as we are contemplating sins…

    That's 30 seconds, and is heading in a direction too racy for a family forum, LOL…

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  11. LCC
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    Danny and the Juniors - "Rock and Roll is here to stay"

    Soap Soap Soap I love my Soap Soap Soap.
    Please don't say nope, my soap.
    We'll always cope with soap.

    Get sudsy!

    Lather and suds are here to stay,
    they are my wet dream.
    They always make my bath a play,
    cover me in sliding cream.

    I don't care how long it takes,
    a good sudsing gives me the shakes!
    (If the neighbors should complain,
    I'll flush the suds down the tub drain.)

    That is the first 30 seconds…

    Lonnie Courtney Clay

    EDIT :
    The Spinners "Rubberband Man"

    Soap Soap SOAP SOAP *SOAP*!

    Give me a new bar of soap, and a clean wash rag.
    Cover me in smooth lather, I'll soon be clean enough to brag!
    With soap suds billowing up, I'm slippery as an eel!
    How can I ever tell you how delicious I feel?

    Hey yawl get soaped and slick, my soap brand will do the trick.
    You can get fresh with cream, covered in a soapy dream.
    My soap makes you feel so nice, you'll want to scrub with it twice!

    One minute, time's up…

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  12. LCC
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    Eight hours with no response! Doesn't ANYBODY else feel like soaping up???

    Navy Theme - Anchors Away

    My body smells so bad, skunks run away!
    If I'm upwind of you, then you will surely say : (and loudly)
    Wretched oaf, take a bath, you smell bizarre!
    Get foamy, clean that filth, use a new bar!

    I am grimy, dirty, with plastered stinking junk and slime,
    the only cure for me is quality bathing time!
    So pass the soap to me smartly, and I'll rub down.
    The ladies will dance with me tonight on the town.

    that's all I'll do for free...

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  13. Speedy
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    Speedy Contributing Member Contributor

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    Lay of the drugs man, or at least ........no, just lay off them.
     
  14. LCC
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    Killjoy! As I said, I am practicing for writing advertising jingles. I am not posting these in the review workshop simply because I doubt my ability to effectively provide helpful critiques of other people's efforts, which are required for posting there.

    I thought carefully before deciding upon a common theme for my jingles. I rejected all controversial topics immediately, such as politics, religion, class warfare, blah blah blah. What was leftover after a half hour of thought was the least controversial of all topics, used by everyone, almost lost in the background noise of life - SOAP! I invite you to make your own contribution to my paean to SOAP, which is one of mankind's oldest inventions...

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  15. Speedy
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    Fair enough. Do continue.
     
  16. art
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    I find soap terribly drying, darling. I cannot join you in your enthusiasm.
    Perhaps you might pen a ditty on the glories of Clinique's Take the Day off Cleansing Balm?
     
  17. LCC
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    "Terribly drying"? You need to shop for a better bar of soap! Perhaps one with coconut oil in it rather than whatever you are using?

    Hmm. That would be endorsing a product which I have never used. I think that it would be best to stick to soap in general. I will be online for several hours today. Does anyone want to suggest a song for me to convert into soapy suds?

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  18. Warriorcats
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    Lol XD soap! This is great lol
     
  19. ArtWander
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    The first one feels like your advertising something....else.
     
  20. LCC
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    Hmm. Since this is a family forum, I will refrain from responding regarding what I might be advertising. I suppose that the first post WAS skating a bit near the edge. Luminous coruscating iridescent scintillating kaleidoscopic bath tub fantasies! Get Clean, not mean!

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
  21. Lavarian
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    Lavarian Contributing Member Contributor

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    Bathwater milkshake anyone?
     
  22. LCC
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    Viral joke on the internet.

    Pasteurized
    A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.

    She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

    When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

    The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

    The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

    The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"

    The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits."

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     
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  23. art
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    art Contributing Member Contributor

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    You would have your soap adulterated with a moisturising oil? :eek: You are far from the traditionalist, the purist I had you down as.

    You disgust me. Go wash your mouth out.
     
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  24. LCC
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    LOLOL I just could not STAND the heartbreak of psoriasis...

    Lonnie Courtney Clay
     

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