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  1. jps117
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    jps117 Member

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    Funny little thing...

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jps117, Jun 3, 2008.

    After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a from, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document the repairs on the form, and the pilots review the “gripe sheet,” before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (represented by a P), and the solutions recorded (represented by an S), by maintenance engineers.

    These are all real!

    Enjoy!

    P: Left inside tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Auto-pilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to a more believable level.

    P: Friction lock cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That’s what the friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you’re right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat Installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget.

    P.S. I have a funny little article that makes fun of George W. Bush. Is there anyone here that would be particularly offended if I posted something like this?

    Just say if you want me to PM it to you.
     
  2. ChimmyBear
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    ChimmyBear Contributing Member Contributor

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    Personally...I love this stuff...but, that is just me.

    My favorite here....the tire being "almost" replaced...;)
     
  3. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Haha, these things are definitely funny. The truth can be stranger than fiction... :p
     
  4. KP Williams
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    KP Williams Contributing Member

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    Oh, that's awesome. Evidence removed... :p

    Maybe I'm just not up to date with these acronyms, but doesn't IFF stand for identification friend or foe? Why does a UPS plane need that? o_O
     
  5. princess K
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    princess K Member

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    Stuff like this always makes me lol. :) x
     
  6. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Haha. Well done, that really made me laugh :p
     
  7. Gone Wishing
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    Gone Wishing Contributing Member

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    Now that is pure gold. :D
     
  8. Raven
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    Raven Banned

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    Certainly an entertaining read. :) lol
     
  9. asitaarka
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    asitaarka Member

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    Very Funny!:D
     
  10. Crazy Ivan
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    Crazy Ivan Contributing Member

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    Definitely great. I really hope it's real. If it is, I'd consider the world to be 10% more awesome, at least.
     
  11. silverfrost
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    silverfrost Member

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    Hahaha, I love these.

    I laughed hardest at the "evidence removed" part.
     
  12. asitaarka
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    asitaarka Member

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    That is Flippin hilarious! My favourite is the IFF dosen't work when Off
     
  13. lordofhats
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    lordofhats Contributing Member

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    I don't know if that is what IFF stands for, but I think that is the purpose it serves.

    To answer the question: All planes require IFF so that the Traffic controller knows what the plane is, where it is going and coming from etc. Its so the planes can be monitored and tracked to ensure planes don't collide or come to dangerously close. Like knowing who is in your airspace at all times. Its also used to guess where the plan may of crashed if that is the case. Just find where the plane's IFF was last seen and starty looking around.

    UFO's are called UFO because they either have no IFF or their IFF is not one that should be where the aircraft is.
     

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