But culturally enforced is real. Your other examples: family influences, religion, etc., those are also nothing but cultural aspects, but they do influence us. Again, sex is biological. Gender is something else entirely. I think maybe you mean to say that these traits aren't inherent? I would agree with that; they're not. It's like saying, "It doesn't matter if my character is an only child or grew up with eight siblings. They're just who they are." But what surrounds us helps shape who we are. These aren't the only things, but they are still important.
Real life can get away with a great deal that would be problematic in fiction. If you know someone who has unusual characteristics and you accurately describe this person as your fictional character, you work may appear unrealistic, badly written or just plain wrong. Reality has no such obstacle to overcome. If you do choose to deviate from the expected, I would spend more time establishing the character. You may want to include some back-story to explain where the unusual characteristics come from.
I just mean that, for example, just because you're a woman doesn't mean you're gonna cry at movies and want to get married and be good at teaching/child-raising/cooking/art etc. Just because you're a woman doesn't mean you'll necessarily be more or less emotional. Just because you're a woman, or a man, doesn't mean you're gonna be anything at all. Of course culture/religion etc influence us, and based on that there will be certain standards and certain stereotypes. Going for stereotypes - black women are generally louder than European women, and Japanese women by and large are very soft-spoken. A Japanese woman would probably not think anything of her husband coming home at midnight, because that's the norm for work, whereas if my husband told me he's gonna have to work till midnight, I'm gonna wanna ask why, what he's doing and if he's getting paid for it, because I'm European (sorta - we certainly live in Europe). Currently my sister and my parents are experiencing severe culture clash because my sister is British in her thinking, and thus a believer of putting her toddler son to bed and once he's in bed, unless he's ill or otherwise something's seriously wrong, he stays there until morning even if he cries and cries - no one will go to his room. My mum, being Chinese, thinks that's just plain cruel and in Chinese culture it's perfectly common to sleep in the same room, sometimes the same bed, as your child even up to the age of 3 - pretty much till whenever the child is ready (I believe Czechs think similarly). A Czech person is more likely to react negatively towards a gypsy or Russian, whereas to a Hongkonger, it wouldn't matter, but they would react negatively to a mainland Chinese, due to respective cultural prejudices. In a Chinese or Bolivian household, you live with your parents until you're married - whereas for the average British, that's something to be looked down upon as a sign of your own lack of success. If you're working whilst living with your parents, it's a little more acceptable to the Brits, but it's not seen as a positive thing. Whereas for the Chinese, it's simply the norm that no one would think twice about it (although children are expected to work). The way adult children might or might not contribute to a household is again different between the Chinese and the Brits. Another example of cultural difference - a more light-hearted one - was when I introduced my Czech husband to my Japanese colleagues, and every Japanese person present clapped. They grinned wide, nodded their heads, eyes wide, and applauded us. I thought it was hilariously bizarre and later asked a Japanese friend about this - she explained they were simply showing their delight for me and joy at meeting my spouse. So I do believe your character should be governed by their cultural thinking, assuming culture is the thing you're trying to portray and especially if it's in general fiction set in the real world. But I don't believe these are gender standards - each culture has their own standards for each gender and if you want to be accurate about it, you can't be just talking about "men and women". And then even within that, people can think differently, especially in this age of the internet where you're exposed to other philosophies and ways of doing things. In any case, if the OP is concerned about portraying someone accurately, it would probably be more helpful to think in terms of how the character's culture and family has influenced him in his thinking, rather than think according to his gender.
As far as the differences between the way men and women write, there are gender neutral avatars on this site, for whom which the gender is hardly any mystery.
To emphasise your point, Mckk, I'm a Brit, and we're obviously more Chinese in our thinking about how to raise a child. Within every average there are wide divergences.
I'd be so interested in hearing each group's reasons behind this. I remember being on an anti-rape website and in the comments section, there were a number of men (and some women) bashing the site. Why? Because the site failed to address male rape. Somehow, people are prone to comparing men and women and somehow placing some hierarchy there, I find - the idea that both female and male rape are equally important and deserve to be discussed seem to never occur to these people. If it's a site about female rape, then it must mean they don't care about male rape. And then you look at rape crisis centres and find many of their logos include the female symbol - what sort of message does that send to male rape victims? I actually wrote one centre once about this and got the standard reply of, "Well most rape happen to women," as if that somehow justifies the exclusion of male victims. I may give your piece in the workshop a read
You fall outside of the stereotype, or norm, then I think! The Brits, by and large, seem to regard bed time as something of paramount importance. I was at the prenatal clinic recently and the TV screen was displaying advice on what's good for your child - guess the topic. Yup, bedtime. Don't let your child rely on you to sleep. It's normal for the child to cry a little before bed and you should leave him alone. Do keep a routine, etc. But in Hong Kong, and Japan, I believe, children regularly sleep at 9, 10, even 11pm, maybe midnight. That's basically unheard of in England - or at least the southern/middle part of England. And yeah, definitely, there are always exceptions. And sometimes they're not even exceptions - it's just the individual. Everyone's different.
I think you're muddling the point. Culture creates gender standards. The two are entwined. And I would defy you to find a culture on earth that doesn't have somewhat different cultural expectations for males and females. So if culture is important, gender norms are important. No, people might not conform to the gender expectations of their culture. (In my opinion? More power to 'em.) But as far as characterization goes, people are defined by outside influences and how they respond to them. Ignoring this outside influence, and therefore how your character has reacted to it and found their place in the world, would be a disservice to your character.
I think maybe I wrote so much that you didn't read it properly - did you not see the line where I wrote, and I quote: "each culture has their own standards for each gender and if you want to be accurate about it, you can't be just talking about 'men and women.'" Each culture has their own standards for each gender - how does that imply in any way that I said a culture doesn't have its own expectations for males and females?? But to think of "gender differences" is far too general - what gender differences? Do you mean the expectations of a woman in India, or one in England? Do you mean the stereotypes that governs a typical Japanese man, or a Czech man? It's like generalising when we talk about religion, say, the sweeping term "Muslim countries" - well, which country are you talking about? Because even though a host of them are indeed Muslim, their practices and laws are quite different. So it is with gender - you can't just say, "Well, men are like this and women are like this." Men from where? Women from where? That's why I said, look at their culture first if you're serious about wanting to portray gender differences, because until then you can't know what societal norms are, what governs their thinking of right and wrong and what makes them feel that something is masculine or feminine. I remember my French friends saying a woman who drinks beer, especially from a bottle, is highly unattractive. In the UK, that's common place. My Japanese friend refuses to live with her boyfriend, even though it would make more sense for her relationship as well as job opportunities, because in her parents' eyes this is absolutely unacceptable - can you imagine the average European doing as my Japanese friend does? Even if the European's parents were against cohabitation, the couple in question would go ahead anyway due to differences in views of independence and family. My mum still regards a woman who confesses her love first, makes the first move, or worse, proposes to the man, as weak and lacking in dignity (she's Chinese) and will often comment on this when she sees it on TV. What makes someone feminine or masculine is deeply cultural and if you wanna be serious about gender differences, pay more attention to their culture. In all honesty, I don't see how what I've said is any different to yours...
Yes, I think we're circling around each other, aren't we? I must have misread that line, or possibly misinterpreted it. Apologies. On a side note, should we start a separate "cultural differences" thread? I like your examples. As a transplant myself, I'd have a lot to contribute to that.
Sorry, so long ago I can't remember the details. One rationale that does stick in my mind was a quote from one of the men..."Well, now that he' s been to court, he's had a good scare...won't see him doing any raping again!"...and then we heard that, in the actual case, the lad had been acquitted, and then been convicted of rape within the year.
Sure, feel free to start one! I feel like I've started too many threads in the past few months somehow but I'd be totally up for such a thread. Would it be a discussion on cultural differences? You know, I read the most interest article written by a polyglot just last night called "Am I weird? - Why other countries think you're weird." I find this stuff fascinating. It would be so interesting to hear what funny stories other people have of culture clashes. You're a transplant? haha never heard that term before, but I get what you mean I think! I see you live in Germany - but what's your background?
I'm torn between thinking that guy who made that comment either 1. didn't understand or appreciate the severity and horror of being raped, or 2. is trying to show kindness and mercy to the rapist. No.2 I can appreciate - coming from the mindset of "Jesus forgives all who repents" - I can understand the need and good in showing mercy even to the most undeserved. but No.1... crikey that guy needs to get himself informed!!!! At least the guy was finally convicted - tragic it took another victim before he was put behind bars though - and even then probably just for anything up to just 3 years... *sigh*
I can't. If we're talking about an acquittal, there's no "repents" there, there's "No, it never happened, and therefore we say that the victim was lying." Forgiveness would be a pardon after a conviction, not an acquittal. (I'm not in favor of that, either, but it at least doesn't make the victim a further victim of a lie.)
I took that guy's comment to mean: even if he did rape her, he should hopefully have learnt his lesson by now, so let's not convict him. I don't agree with that kinda reasoning at all - like I say, it seriously sounds more like he didn't understand the severity and horror of rape, like all the rapist deserved was a smack on his hand and now everyone can move on. I find fault in the reasoning, but if the intention was mercy, I can't find fault in the desire to grant mercy. However, fault in the reasoning, and fault in how it's applied (in this case, by letting the accused go you must necessarily also imply the victim was lying) - definitely. I understand that the rapist certainly did not repent in any case, and agree with you that an acquittal in the case of the accused actually being guilty is wrong.
On the other hand, there are avatars that clearly proclaim gender, like Shadowfax's, that some of us still manage to overlook. Shadowfax, I really thought you were female! But there are two Shadow_____s, right? Maybe I've just got the two of you mixed up... wait, is the other Shadow______ female, at least?!?
I never thought @Shadowfax is a lady but I thought for a while @Charisma is a guy. And that was based on a workshop excerpt, so, double Anyway ,to the OP, some biological diffs might affect some choices your character makes, like unwanted boners might cause embarrassment, and hormones, such as testosterone, can affect behavior. Society puts on us gender specific pressures as well (boy's don't cry etc), but in the end, focus on writing a person, first and foremost, otherwise you might end up relying on stereotypes and the character won't feel cohesive and plausible.
An acquittal just means the state wasn't able to prove its case beyond a reasonable doubt, not that the incident never happened.
You can do pretty much anything as long as you do it well. Likewise, exceptions always exist. However, you should be aware of the ways your character is an exception from the stereotype just like you should know how and why he's stereotypical (and which stereotypes he resembles and to what extent... and why). Speaking of testosterone, you could write a man who suffers of testosterone deficiency syndrome or whatever it's called. If he has average to higher-than-average levels of testosterone, however, that would probably show to some degree in most cases in the ways testosterone affects human behavior when comparing the character to your average women or other individuals with noticeably lower testosterone levels. After all, when e.g. an athlete starts doping with testosterone-boosting substances, not only their physiques and performances change, but their behavior and personalities change as well. That means a person with higher testosterone levels is likely to be somewhat different, to a degree, from a person with lower testosterone levels as long as the differences in those levels are noticeable. That's just one of several ways stereotypical representatives of the sexes differ from one another, a biological way, whereas I'm guessing most are social differences, stemming from how differently both individuals and societies treat men and women. Now, since you're probably not out to write a stereotype, you might want to deviate from the assumed norms, but those deviations need to make sense, whether they're social, biological, or some other kinds of elements that make the character different from the norm (i.e. whatever is considered normative in the story's context). You should know how the character differs from the norm and, most of all, why? That way you help ensure the character's psychological plausibility and that their traits and personalities are consistent. For instance, it's a guy, but he lacks some traits of the stereotypical beacon of masculinity, e.g. he's straight, but gets very uncomfortable when he sees female nudity. That's a rather uncommon trait that can still work as a part of a male character as long as the guy's past or present environment, experiences, or some such help explain why he reacts in a way opposite from the norm. Of course, you don't need to explain it in the story if it doesn't fit in, but you, as the author, need to know the whys and hows of your characters and what makes them the unique individuals they are.
Really? With all the colors and a feminine username? That is fricken' awesome. XD I've actually been confused as a male before (very recently by @Fitzroy Zeph ) and even several years back on chatrooms when they were common. Interesting. To the topic of discussion itself, we've had this discussion before some time back--and I recall myself highlighting that I had always had a proclivity for writing male characters. From here on out, it's impossible to say if its to do with culture, for I am not very representative of the female gender role in my culture, and we sadly do not have quite the abundance of South Asians around here (at least, I haven't spotted many). Anyhow, I agree with the intermediate notion here--while your character does not have to be (and in most cases, shouldn't be) the reiteration of a cultural gender role, you should inform yourself so that you know what you're deviating from and how you are going to explain that rooted in the culture and norm. And this knowledge shouldn't just be garnered from the "other's" perspective (e.g. a male describing females) but from the self-perspective, which could be more genuine for the purpose of a character.
The reasoning was that the evidence wasn't conclusive enough for him...pretty convincing, but no smoking gun...so, essentially he wanted to sit on the fence. "I mean, he PROBABLY did it, but it wouldn't be fair to send the poor boy to jail just because he made a mistake. So, let's just give him the psychological slap on the wrist of having the trauma of being tried for this crime." The trauma of being tried for a crime that he DID commit does not seem to have been compared with the trauma of suffering the crime, the trauma of having to re-live the incident during the trial, and the trauma of being told that, in the judgement of the court, she was basically lying about it.
How some men can think so little of the effects and trauma of rape is beyond me... To be honest, maybe if people would be more aware of male rape and the truth that just because you're male doesn't mean you're safe or somehow immune to being raped - perhaps that would finally get the light to turn on for some of them. I think the reason why women care more about it (in general) is probably because all of us knows we could be one of the victims, easily. What kinda smoking gun does he want...?
I think that most differences between the sexes are learned traits. However, here are a couple of things I have read in New Scientist or watched on Horizon over the years: - Men do have more analytical/ problem solving minds and a faster perception- response reaction. It is unknown whether this is as a result of inheriting 'hunter' genes, or because they are more likely to be bought lego rather than a doll as a child. An experiment has been tried repeatedly on Barbary apes where the young are separated and put into an area with Tonka trucks and toy dolls. Primates are used to remove learned traits which would be found in human children (i.e. the walls of the nursery would already be either pink or blue). Almost 100% of the time males will go for Tonka trucks and females for dolls (even human dolls). Of course this experiment does not truly remove learned traits as female Barbary apes will see older females looking after the young- but it does suggest nature over nurture. Make of this what you will.
Well, I don't know the details of the case you were looking at, but I don't think it's necessarily a question of horribleness of rape that's at issue. That would show up more in sentencing, really - like, if everyone agreed that the person committed rape and women wanted a ten year sentence while men wanted one year probation, that would indicate different attitudes toward how horrible rape is. But being worried about a false conviction doesn't automatically indicate attitudes toward rape.
A while back, when I was working for the British Ministry of Defense, we had a fuel pump in the office. (It was from the Lancaster bomber used in the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight). All the men passed to pump around and smelt it, then commented on how wonderful its aroma was, (a distinctive blend of electric motor and aviation fuel, matured with considerable age). When we passed to pump to the women in the office, so they could savor it's aroma, they all refused, looked at us scornfully and said words to the effect of, "You're mad you are!"
