We have a thing called "the tenants union" here, not sure if you do in the US. But there are a LOT of laws preventing landlords from evicting tenants. Wilful damage to the property, violence against other tentants and 14 days late on rent are pretty much the only legal grounds to evict a person. On top of that, the landlord has to go to court to get notice to evict (that's not what it's actually called, can't remember its name), and then the person has 14 days to vacate. It's a real mess, her hands are tied. If she evicts her any other way she opens herself up to all sorts of litigation. Put that all aside though, and sure I want her out, and I want her out fast but, a massive pain or not, nobody deserves to wind up stranded on the street. Swoosh, right over the top of my head.
Take a couple of your indigenous eastern browns, throw them in the dryer (no heat/ low tumble, trying to piss them off not kill them). Ask her to fold her clothes so you can use the dryer. Crikey!
Hah! I'd probably get arrested for touching one. We used to kill them all the time, but now they're protected. If you see one you have to call a snake guy to come and pick it up. Pretty hopeless animals, strike at a million miles an hour, enough venom to kill a small town and can move a like lightning, but my mum, a frail five foot five woman can take one down with a spade. I don't think they like being dusted... Though the eastern brown is known for its cocaine habbit. Snakes slither into dryers all the time here, nobody bats and eyelid. If the courts had to deal with every suspected snake/dryer murder our legal system would grind to a halt. EDIT: Giving me tingles.
Why does it have to be so antagonistic? Seems like there's a passive aggressive vibe between the two of you going on I dunno, but my natural reaction would be to try and communicate with her more, try to straighten things out, say how you feel, and what's annoying you. If she doesn't appreciate your wishes then It'd be time to get tougher
Wow, what a shitty sitch. Sorry, man, but that sounds really stressful. I'm trying to think what would prompt me to move out... Damn if you knew what she really disliked or if something creeped her out, like spiders. Maybe if you started smoking inside for a short period? Just to, erm, smoke her out. Get super lovey-dovey with your gf, seriously, like take pictures of her and put them in huge posters all over the place. The thing about having sex to smoke someone out... most likely that'll just make them want to stay ever harder Maybe convince your gf to be a real bee-yatch towards your roommie. If my hubby had a similar thing, I'd have no trouble turning into a major pain in that other girl's neck. I'd move her stuff around or hide them, get real drunk and puke in her bed, abuse her verbally, hang around in your flat as much as I can, pester the roommie all the time so that she can't work or sleep or whatever. But then you wouldn't get in trouble, and she can't get rid of your gf, can she? The only way is to move the hell out Of course if your gf isn't up for that, then... I dunno, do you by any chance have an obnoxious friend who could do the dirty deed for ya? If she's real broke, you can consider how likely it is for her to sue you. Suing is expensive for boths parties, isn't it? And a lot of hassle too.
If this was a story I would consider the following: Kill her, strangle her in her sleep - no blood, then roll her up in a carpet before rigo sets in. Tape a load of bricks to it and throw her off a bridge. Kill her with kindness, go out of your way to do things for her, treat her as well as you do your gf, spruce the place up with flowers, buy her something for her room. Make her dinner and serve her her favourite desserts. Gain her trust but freak her out, take her out for a day and throw her under a bus. Or just make life really hard for her - take off her bedroom door "for repairs", who owns her bed? If the landlord does, swap it for a piss stained mattress you'll no doubt find in a skip. Buy a dog and train it to hump her leg - you might have to 'show' the dog how the first few times - this will freak her out too. Does she have hay fever? Is she afraid of clowns? Fill her knicker drawer with itching powder, put spiders in her socks, soup in her shoes, holly in her pillowcase. Or go back to plan A. Just story options ok - do not try any of these at home!
This may be a bit left-field, but you mentioned she might be hiding something about her past? Any danger you could ferret out what that might be? (All sorts of checks can be undertaken online these days.) Might give you ...erm ...leverage...?
If she has a lease, surely in her contract there's an end date? You don't rent an apartment indefinitely usually - there's usually a date that indicates the end of the contract. How much longer has she got left? Endure it until then, and then the landlord needn't extend the contract. But this is strange - the landlord should have the power to ask the tenant to leave, as long as the landlord gives the tenant enough notice. Just say you've decided to refurbish the house and the house is no longer up for renting. Or that the landlord has decided to sell the house. Otherwise, play loud music all through the day and night, have sex in the lounge and made lots of very loud moaning noises, have a house party that lasts til 5am (except housemate's not invited, of course). Lock your door with a chain whenever she's out. Every time she wants to come in, the damn chain's on again and she has to ring the bell. Except well, I'm so sorry, I was taking a nap and didn't hear you, wasn't deliberate, honest. Does she have any smells she hates? Spray it everywhere Buy a pet tarantula and insist that you simply must let it out several times a week - can't keep a live animal in a box, after all, you gotta play with it! And does she want to stroke it? Knock knock, c'mon the tarantula wants to play. Why won't you open your door? Knock on the door every time she's in the bathroom. Ask her embarrassing questions: "What're you doing in there?" Knock knock knock all the way until she comes out. And then huff and say, "Well, you were in there a long time! Stomach problems?" Feel free to draw 3-hour-long baths. In the middle of the night, whenever she's asleep, turn on their bedroom light. "Sorry, wrong door!" Take all of her dirty dishes and put them all in a bag and into her bedroom. Move her stuff all the time - you say she hates it and gets real mad. Do it all the more often! Eat her food in the fridge. Keep your toilet paper and cleaning products locked in a cupboard (and you keep the key on you at all times), forcing her to buy her own. And then, of course, promptly use hers
how long before her lease is up?... you said she's been there a year, so did you do something stupid like renewing it recently? what are the terms of the lease?... there should be some clause in there that she's violated and can be evicted for... if not, you need to write a tighter lease next time... if you're ever foolish enough to have a next time...
Mwahhahhaaa! Nah, I resort to pettiness only when my partner's well-being is at stake. Omg, I'm writing this down just in case I ever need to get rid of a person.
Is there a lease? Is she a signatory? I don't know about your laws, but in the US that would be a key question as to what rights, if any, she had as a tenant. And, as had been pointed out before, if there is no lease, the best and easiest solution for you might just be to walk away.
questions i asked about lease, etc. a ways back in the thread still haven't been answered... since the op can't 'walk away' from his own family's house, the only viable option open is to wait out the lease, unless as i noted there's a clause in it that she's broken, so can be evicted...
Well, the idea may be to just annoy her so much that she leaves. Get locks on your cabinets and stuff and keep your things separate from hers, so she has to literally live on her own despite sharing the complex. I know you may not want to do something that drastic, but remember all the money you practically handed to her without a fight. Dig in your feet! Don't let the pity party get to your head any longer!
I would hire a narrator to follow her around everywhere (and I mean everywhere) and narrate her life out loud in third person. Not somebody with a good voice either like Morgan Freeman; somebody like Gilbert Godfrey or Paulie Shore. Eventually she will go crazy, go to jail for murder, or cede and move out.
My advice is, you and partner move out somewhere else. Prank-wise, and this is a cruel one, put depilatory cream in her hair conditioner. It's cruel but effective
To be honest I don't see the problem. You have two women living with you. I mean there are some men who would be die to be in that position. Hell even John Ritter only did on a tv series (Three's Company) If I were you I'd try to arrange some sort of fantasy. But if you insist on passing this once in a life time chance up. Then may I suggest just pranking her out. It works in the movies.
thanks, ginger, i'd missed that! in the us, the norm is that the landlord has to give 30 days notice if he wants the tenant to move... and you don't really need a reason, if the tenant is on a month to month basis... but he can certainly say he needs the room for this or that reason and it would be a perfectly legal basis upon which to give her a formal 30-day notice of termination of tenancy and then have her evicted, if she's not out at the end of the 30 days... here's how it goes: https://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en&tab=Tw#hl=en&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=termination+of+tenancy+notice&oq=termination+of+tenancy+&gs_l=hp.1.0.0l4.1015.1709.0.5242.2.2.0.0.0.0.151.299.0j2.2.0...0.0...1c.1.17.psy-ab.kZBX4TFvW8w&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.47883778,d.aWM&fp=ad1fdd102cb3e87e&biw=685&bih=346
I think people are forgetting that AV is not the landlord, his aunt is. It's something people should be aware of when renting with roommates, whether you sublease or each tenant rents individually from a landlord. The law differs on one's rights to get a roommate to leave. Anyone who's ever split up and had a disagreement with their significant other over who should leave the rental may be familiar with such difficulties. Seattle's Just Cause Eviction Ordinance has a list of reasonable reasons a person's month to month may be terminated: It looks like Oz has similar laws as the US, and like here, one needs to check the version applicable to your state, province, territory or city.
sorry, i missed that part about you not being the landlord, av... in which case, since the bothersome roomie is paying her half of the rent directly to the landlord, i see no viable alternative to you moving out and into a place where you won't have to share your digs with a pesky stranger... however, if it can be shown that you are the 'tenant of record' and she is merely paying you half of the rent/utilities, to let her share what is your legal accomodation, you may be able to get her out... it seems to me that you need to consult a real estate attorney, not well-meaning fellow members of a writing site, for advice on how to solve this dilemma...
