Didn't read the other thread, but I agree that there's a vast difference between constructive criticism and someone being a jerk. There's also a difference between one's storytelling and one's ability to write a query. Two different things - don't think of one when getting a critique for the other. That said, agents will look at the query as a sample of your writing abilities - that's why you need to spend as much effort learning to write a good query as you did writing your story. I have heard from numerous writers that the query letter is pure torture to get right. And agree - you've got a great attitude about this whole incident. Keep a strangle-hold on that!
First of all, I don't think it's fair to look at a query letter and infer conclusions onto the overall writing. So just reading that critique, I agree that it's frustrated and it tells me more about the reviewer then about your writing. However, generally speaking, unless I receive harsh criticism from someone with ulterior motives, I always take it seriously. The thing is, someone was irritated enough to say that it sucked. Even if they didn't specify why, still, they were irritated, and that's not good. I think it's telling that you feel the same about your own writing. It is possible to have people praise you for a long time and not really mean it, because a lot of people have problems with delivering bad news for the fear of hurting another, and this is especially true of bad writing. We pour heart and soul into it, print it, proudly give it for review, and it's painfully bad. What is reviewer to do? We are the best judges of our work, but only if we leave the ego aside. In that sense, you shouldn't need anyone else to tell you whether your writing is good or bad, not after 20 years of being at it. Likewise, you shouldn't let mean reviews affect how you feel about your work. Look at your writing realistically. Have you been traditionally published? Have you been successful with an audience? How closely in quality does your work compare to your favourite books? Usually there's plenty of room for improvement, and this is true even of the famous published writers. They typically say that a book is never finished, and even after publishing, they keep spotting mistakes and wishing they said something better..
That person wasn't irritated. He (or she) was a troll, deliberately making mischief, and got very quickly banned. Other people checked the other posts this person put up on other threads, and apparently they were nearly all the same sort of tone. Just sniping and nasty remarks, made by a brand-new person on the forum? Nope. Not worth another thought.
With the caveat the criticism in question wasn't valid, doesn't the publisher/agent you are sending the query to do just that, infer conclusions onto the overall writing? Queries do involve a different set of writing skills. It's one more skill many of us will need to learn if we haven't already.
Having received criticism similar to yourself in the past, despite knowing that I write well and am getting better, I think there are two things to bear in mind. Realize that the emotions brought up by the harsh criticism will pass though it may take some time (I find 2-4 days for myself - lots of long walks and souls searching in that period) and you will realize that the offender truly is simply a jerk (or perhaps he had a fight with his wife and is taking that out on you). Be angry and upset, as something near and dear to you was insulted. The second thing is to not believe it. If you love to write then write. other peoples opinions really don't matter if you have a story to tell. Do it for yourself, not for a critic. Remember the act of creation is difficult, the act of destruction (or criticism) easy. You are doing the difficult thing and he the easy. As you say, a coping mechanism is important. And this will happen again as some people are simply harsh. The best coping mechanism, I think, is a supportive peer group who will honestly and constructively critique your work. And if you can get that in your community (i.e., a writing group I your town or city) that is best as people are much less likely to be harsh and rude to your face. Dead easy to be that way on a forum where your identity is unknown. Harsh criticism is never an easy thing to hear and usually reflects the reviewer more than the writer. The best solution is to keep writing and avoid that reviewer. Hope this helps....
Good critique is balanced argument on writing, noting its both positive and negative points. One-sided critique leads nowhere.
Haven't read the other thread with your query, but what you said right there sounds like the start of a very cogent explanation of your novel. So describing it in 200 words should be doable, for sure.
