1. Alesia

    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    Grammar Intensely vs. Immensely

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Alesia, Mar 4, 2014.

    This is a passage from my next full-length essay. Given the topic, please keep all responses to the spelling and grammar. I do not wish to spark any debates about the subject matter. Anyway, In bolded red, do you think the word "intensely" fits here, or could I swap it for "immensely" and have the same effect? Does one fit better than the other in your opinion?

     
  2. stevesh

    stevesh Banned Contributor

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    If those are my choices, I would go with 'intensely', but I would probably use 'extremely' if I thought I needed a modifier there.
     
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  3. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    I think both words fit. It could just be an arbitrary choice unless you yourself think one word fits better than the other. While I recognize the difference, I don't think it would matter to me as a reader.
     
  4. Thornesque

    Thornesque Senior Member

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    I agree with stevesh. I don't think either word is quite right. "extremely jaded," sounds better. I'm also not sure that a modifier is really necessary. I think "jaded," in and of itself, has a rather intense implication. You're never going to look at it the same way again. May not ever want to go near it. When someone is jaded in love, they never want to let themselves fall in love, again.

    So, yeah. My recommendation is either "extremely," or no modifier, at all.
     
  5. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    I guess since this isn't the critique area it's OK to discuss other comments. I find the modifier 'extremely' to be mundane, and 'immensely' and 'intensely' to offer more impact.
     
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  6. Wreybies

    Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Agreed. Diluted by overuse. Given a choice, I would go with immensely, but that has nothing to do with which fits better and everything to do with my personal idiolect.
     
  7. Alesia

    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    I agree, I'm leaning toward "immensely" myself. I just wasn't sure if there was a significant difference in meaning between the two. Given a later paragraph which states:

    "From that moment I knew that if I ever found a way out, freed myself from the shackles of Christianity, I was never going back. Spending an eternity in Hell was a more than adequate alternative to spending an eternity in Heaven, worshipping a God who condoned the nauseating array of abuses that I suffered at the hands of "His" people."

    I think immensely will probably deliver more of a blow, especially considering the fact that this paragraph appears relatively early on. Thanks to all who responded :)
     
  8. jazzabel

    jazzabel Agent Provocateur Contributor

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    'Intensely' is a stronger word here. More personal, angry, apt. 'Immensely' in comparison seems like purple-proseish hyperbole, as does 'extremely'. Imho.
     
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  9. stevesh

    stevesh Banned Contributor

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    Not to hijack Alesia's thread, but I think this attitude is a big part of the problem with the work of beginning writers. I don't think there are any 'mundane' words. A word fits in the context or it doesn't. Trying to spice up one's writing with 'non-mundane' words strikes me as the surest way to win the 'Dark and Stormy Night' bad writing contest.
     
  10. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    There are plenty of mundane words just as there is purple prose.
     
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  11. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    I ditto jazzabel. Go for "intensely".

    For me, "immensely" adds nothing. It's another way of saying "very".

    Whereas "intensely", while it does carry the meaning of "very", also carries the meaning of strength.

    "Immensely", however, carries the implication of size. It is big.

    But what you're talking about is emotion, therefore something that indicates strength is better, and more coherent.

    However, it is true that both fits, and your writing would not be bad if you went for "immensely". I do believe it would be better, however, to go for "intensely".
     
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  12. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    To me, "jaded" implies a lack of feeling, while "intensely" implies a great deal of feeling. How about "intensely disillusioned"?

    Edited to clarify. To me, as an example:

    Jaded: "Yeah, whatever, they're all liars, I don't care any more."
    Disillusioned: "Those (bleep) lied to me!! I trusted them and they lied to me!"
     
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  13. Alesia

    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    The second sentence is why I used "jaded" in this instance. It sums up my views on Christianity perfectly: "Yeah, whatever, they are all hypocrites, I don't care anymore."
     
  14. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    In that case, I would probably change to "thoroughly jaded."
     
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  15. David K. Thomasson

    David K. Thomasson Senior Member

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    immensely ... or vastly or extraordinarily or greatly
     
  16. AlannaHart

    AlannaHart Senior Member

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    I'm with @ChickenFreak, I don't think immensely or intensely quite fit there. I'd look at rearranging the sentence altogether, dropping the modifier or finding a more apt word.
     
  17. Andrae Smith

    Andrae Smith Bestselling Author|Editor|Writing Coach Contributor

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    This is my sentiment on the matter. The word choice and position changes the meaning subtly but enough to draw attention. "Intensely" implies that there is a lot of feeling or fervor in or behind something. It refers to a level of extremity, yes, but it connotes a feeling sensation. You wouldn't say someone is fiercely jaded, as jaded people tend to be less responsive to emotional conviction.

    According to Google, a specific definition of jaded is:
    Thus, "intensely" as a modifier is a paradox, sort of, because it means:
    It seems like you want to express a level of depth. You're saying your views/opinions/emotional response towards the Christian Faith has become very jaded/extremely jaded/deeply jaded/incredibly jaded/immensely jaded. Immensely literally means:
    So if you want to go with jaded, which fits the context perfectly, immensely is the better fit for conveying your meaning unless you mean to suggest you are somehow passionately unfeeling. ;)

    Edit to add: regarding alternatives, I think "thoroughly" is a nice fit, because it maintains the calm tone. It doesn't have as much feeling attached as intensely or immensely, so it's less powerful.
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2014
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  18. AlannaHart

    AlannaHart Senior Member

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    Immensely sounds like you're trying too hard. I'd go with decidedly. Or just leave it at jaded. That's what you mean, don't overdo it.
     
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  19. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    'intensely' implies great emotional depth/involvement...

    'immensely' only relates to the strength of the jadedness, as in 'greatly'...

    so i don't see them as interchangeable... only you can decide which is more accurate...
     
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  20. Bryan Romer

    Bryan Romer Contributor Contributor

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    "irretrievably" ?
     
  21. Thumpalumpacus

    Thumpalumpacus Alive in the Superunknown

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    I would drop the modifier completely. If you feel it necessary, go with "intensely": it speaks to the depth of the change, whereas "immensely" has connotations leaning towards physical scope which in my mind reduce its utility.
     
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  22. Alesia

    Alesia Pen names: AJ Connor, Carey Connolly Contributor

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    I agree, decidedly is the best fit so far.
     
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  23. vera2014

    vera2014 Member

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    ".../leaving my views toward the Christian faith intensely jaded."

    I would write "leaving me disillusioned with the Christian faith. I think disillusioned is strong enough to replace the two words intensely/immensely jaded. That's just me though...I love shortening everything if I can.
     
  24. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    jaded and disillusioned don't really mean anything near the same thing, however... jaded is passive, indicates a feeling of boredom... while disillusioned is active, since something has to disillusion you... make you change your mind and feelings about something...
     
  25. Bryan Romer

    Bryan Romer Contributor Contributor

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    "Disillusioned" implies seeing through or past some concept or thing. "Jaded" only means a loss of interest and says nothing about the validity of the subject itself.
     

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