Hi guys, I've purchased a bunch of self-edit and revision books to give what I've written a better revision. The first thing I'm tackling is the word 'was'. I have 537 results in a total of 56,000 words. What I'm planning to do is gather all the tips and advice into one place and then start trawling for these kind of things. This is what I've come up with. I just want to make sure I'm doing the best rewrite I can: Outside it was still night with a faint glow rising over the horizon that began to spread a pale morning light over everything Outside a faint glow began to rise above the horizon, spreading a pale light across the land. He was losing most of his fur, and one eye had fallen off years ago but she’d had him for nearly ten years now. Most of his fur was long gone, and an eye had fallen off years ago, but she’d had him for nearly ten years now. OR Not bad considering he was nearly ten years old now. (The alternative would would be instead of the because section, not sure which one is better) The ground was soft from the recent rain and they stumbled their way toward the beckoning forest. The stumbled towards the beckoning forest, the wet ground sucking at their shoes. The only sound was the pounding of their hearts as they moved as quickly as they could. They moved as quickly as they could, their pounding hearts and labored breath the only sounds keeping them company They turned to head towards Lyron when the sound of crackling leaves rooted them to the spot. It was coming from the nearby forest. They turned to head towards Lyron when the sound of crackling eaves rooted them to the spot. It came from the nearby forest. (Is this last sentence an appropriate change? Couldn't decide if it was better to have the characters peer into the forest...example:The soldiers peered into the surrounding trees) Thanks heaps guys!