1. NoaMineo
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    NoaMineo Member

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    Have to share a funny rejection letter.

    Discussion in 'Publishing' started by NoaMineo, Jan 27, 2011.

    So the rejections are coming back from my latest round of querry letters. It's always funny to see the time-saving/cheap ways the literary agents use to reject you. Form letters are a standard, sometimes it's just a form-note scribled on my querry and stuffed into the SASE. You can also tell something from the agencies that bother to stick a return address on your SASE and the ones that just drop it in the mail as-is.

    This particulary agency, however, has really got it down to a science! No form letters, just a stamp on your querry, initialed, and shoved in my SASE, which arrived without a return address.

    Anyway, I just found this amusing and felt like sharing.
     
  2. Kevin B
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    Kevin B Member

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    That is amusing, I've never gotten one quite like that.

    [​IMG]

    That's just wrong! :eek:


    :D
     
  3. NoaMineo
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    NoaMineo Member

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    I know, right? It wasn't just a REJECTED stamp, but they basically have their form letter on a stamp!
     
  4. FrankABlissett
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    FrankABlissett Active Member

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    o.m.g.

    *snicker* - that is amusing. I wish I was working on a story I could work in into.

    -Frank
     
  5. Forkfoot
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    Forkfoot Contributing Member Contributor

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    Awesome. I picture the guy that does the stamping having some kind of skin disease and wearing a monocle, with a snuffbox on his desk.
     
  6. Edward G
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    Edward G Banned

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    I really don't know why agents even bother to accept querries. Most of them are going out of business or will be soon. There's only so many big names to go around and they all have agents. First time authors are not marketable, and any agent who went to a publisher that would actually pay anything like money would be laughed at if they brought one to the table.

    Think about it seriously: An agent goes to a publisher who's desperately looking to find the next big thing or they're going under and will all be laid off and trying to make it in New York all over again--in 2011's economy. The publisher asks the agent, "Whadda ya got?"

    The agent says, "I have this first time author who no one's ever heard of and may or may not be reliable throughout the entire publishing processs and may or may not be able to write a second book--I mean, who knows. We're looking for you to take us to the moon. Whadda ya think?"

    My point is this: It's not your fault. If you haven't published before and made a profit for your publisher on your last book, don't even bother with agents. Accept the fact that you're going to have to go with a small press or a micropress, and for those you don't need an agent.

    That's just my two cents, and I could be wrong.
     
  7. PapaSmurfberry
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    PapaSmurfberry Active Member

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    Can't fault you on your logic ...

    Look at the bright side of things, great writing takes massive amounts of pain. Whats more painful then someone taking your hopes and dreams, and putting a giant red reject stamp across it. :confused:
     
  8. Islander
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    Islander Contributing Member Contributor

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    Using it as an amusing example of abhorrent writing?
     
  9. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    But...first novels are getting published. Search Google for "first novel" and you can read articles about a variety of examples. A particularly obvious example is _Major Pettigrew's Last Stand_, a first novel published in March 2010, by Random House. But there are plenty of less famous examples, enough of them to support surveys and studies.

    If you're saying that it's harder to get a first novel published than it used to be, sure, I can believe that. One of the surveys shows that it took the published first-novel authors an average of eleven years to get their book published. But first novels _are_ getting published.

    ChickenFreak
     
  10. PapaSmurfberry
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    PapaSmurfberry Active Member

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    well played check and mate
     
  11. Boring Editor
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    Boring Editor Member

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    This is complete rubbish. I don't know if you keep peddling this lie to buffer against your rejections or if you actually believe it, but stop spreading misinformation.

    Don't buy into this type of scaremongering, people.

    More misinformation. People pretending they are knowledgeable on subjects they are not does more harm than good. While agents are not essential, they are extremely useful. Try to get one, and try your hardest; it will pay off.
     
    1 person likes this.
  12. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    I've been lucky so far out of six approaches only had two standard rejections - the others have included something personal. Apparently my writing isn't quite ready but my book has many of the elements they are looking for and would be interested in seeing my next one.

    However think I would rather just have a rejected stamp, than some false rhetoric like this, it is no more informative :

    Thank you for your email and the material which we have now looked at. As a small agency we take on very few of the many writers who approach us each year and, having considered your work, we do not feel we can effectively represent you.

    We trust you will understand that the sheer volume of submissions to this office unfortunately prevents us from providing you with a more detailed and personal response.

    May we take this opportunity to wish you success with another agent or publisher.
     
  13. HorusEye
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    HorusEye Contributing Member Contributor

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    Cream floats.

    It's a law of nature, despite whatever is the current weather.
     
  14. NoaMineo
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    NoaMineo Member

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    That is lucky. Last book I tried to sell sent out about 30 approaches and got 30 form-rejections. This book I've sent out 12 so far, I expect to get 12 rejections, then I plan to send out twelve more querries.

    So far every single rejection has been some variation of "We do not feel we are the right agency for you".

    You know what the annoying thing is? I can go the distance and write the complete series, my writing is marketable, and with the right promotions my book will make a profit. Unfortunately I have no way to convey all of that in a querry letter.
     
  15. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    My biggest break was sending to an agent who was about to retire. She isn't taking on anymore and is reducing to all bar her two or three more successful authors, she actually phoned me, and helped me put together a synopsis based on what she felt other agents were specifically looking for that my book had this year.

    She took a look at parts of my second book and has suggested I rewrite the first with the knowledge I have gained this year and try it with the British Writers Award.

    I don't know if it is good enough but she comes from same part of the world as my dad and used his phrase - you might not win if you enter, but you definitely won't if you don't lol So figured worst that happens is I lose my £10.95

    Looks like basically you need to know what the publishing industry are looking for in a given year and highlight those elements of your book. Since she helped me write it I have had two agents back with just a short personal paragraph, one they would be interested in seeing a later work. Also one small publisher asked for my manuscript but I messed up author questionairre and I am expecting a rejection.
     
  16. Fiona
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    Fiona Member

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    I've had some funny rejections in the past... I had one horror publisher who said she couldn't take on my book because it was 'dark and disturbing.'
    Seriously... I thought the idea of horror was to be dark... I certainly didn't think it had to be full of sun and rainbows! I found that rather odd. But onwards and upwards!
     
  17. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    lol I have a friend who writes erotic fiction has had several published one book was sent back because it was too graphic :) I don't think they meant illustrations.

    Is it just me that has to rethink when they see the term graphic novel ?
     
  18. Fiona
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    Fiona Member

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    Me too!

    When it comes to horror, the darker the better for me! And I'm guessing that people who enjoy erotica want to get the dirty stuff - as long as it's done with boundaries lol. :)

    Maybe publishers or agents should be more specific about what they won't represent. Yet it's interesting - my novel is horror but I wouldn't say it was more darker or disturbing than some of the other novels lining the horror shelves in stores!
     
  19. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree would nice to have a clearer idea. Erotica/Romance though has a great list of things you have to stick to.

    I'm still not sure if my current one is horror. The content is horrific, but I think more sad than frightening.
     
  20. NoaMineo
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    NoaMineo Member

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    I think they don't want to get specific because they don't want to burn any bridges. There could be any number of reasons why they're rejecting you now, but they want to leave the window open in case you come back with something they want later.

    That, and of course most propably get hundreds a day and just don't make the time. Prime example: the rejection stamp I got.
     
  21. The Degenerate
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    The Degenerate Active Member

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    I'm tired of rejection letters, especially form, so I like to save publishers the paper and I insert a card in my SASE with a box for yes and a box for no. It's a lot more endurable. But a stamp, now that's funny.
     
  22. NoaMineo
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    NoaMineo Member

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    That's not a bad idea, though I worry it might be a bit off-putting.

    Personally, I'm getting so sick of the rejections, I'm about to up and reject the rejection letter.
     
  23. Ellipse
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    Ellipse Contributing Member Contributor

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    Have you tried googling 'writing agents' yet? Here are a couple of sites google will list.

    www.writers.net

    You can search for agents by genre with their search engine.

    www.agentquery.com

    Not only can you search for agents by genre, but the site also tells you all the genres that agent will represent, other authors the agent represents, whether they accept email querries for stories, and whether they are interested in representing new authors or not.
     
  24. The Degenerate
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    The Degenerate Active Member

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubymvKXM3kc
     
  25. Three
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    Three Member

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    Traditional publishing is a dying business. If you care more about your story being heard than you being paid for it, there's always e-publishing. :)
     

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