1. obis
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    obis New Member

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    Hello all, i am new to writing.

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by obis, Jul 20, 2013.

    Hello everybody, I am new to writing and would like to know how to write a paragraph properly and was wondering if you guys could help me learn the hamburger paragraph. I know that the first sentence in a paragraph is the topic sentence and that states your main idea, but it's hard sometimes figuring out how your going to word it. i also know that after the topic sentence you have to state 3 supporting detail and give one supporting example for each. but i am not sure of this. and in the end is the concluding sentence. I am here to learn how to write a proper paragraph and i want to learn also how to use correct transitional words in between my main points or supporting details.

    thanks
     
  2. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    I've never heard of a hamburger paragraph before. It sounds like it's used for school essays. Your best bet would be to ask your teacher if you're unsure about it. Also, you may want to search for some example essays online and read through those to see how the author handles transitions between paragraphs/supporting details.
     
  3. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi Obis, first off welcome to the site, stick around and you'll learn lots.

    I'm afraid I have no idea about your hamburger rule or paragraph and I haven't time to go look it up. What I would say however is give us more detail, what are you writing? Do you have an idea for a story? Are you staring at a blank page and don't know how to start?

    Some people get too het up about apparent bullshit rules to forming a paragraph and lose the nerve to write for fear of being wrong, that it's not the way someone said it should be done.

    I would suggest you read around the site, join in some conversations and topics, read the work of others and try critiquing and when you've fulfilled the criteria, post up a paragraph and people will help you out. They're good folks here, stick around!
     
  4. obis
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    obis New Member

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    Hey guys, thanks for replying. this is the hamburger paragraph:



    for the paragraph hamburger it goes like this, 1 topic sentence, 2 main supporting point/detail, 3 explanation, main supporting point/detail,5 explanation,6 main supporting point/detail,7 explanation and than finally 8 which is the concluding sentence. i just want to learn how to put my ideas down in an organized way that fits these sections. :)
     
  5. JetBlackGT
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    JetBlackGT Contributing Member

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    Fiction writers and non-fiction writers never use this kind of bizarre formula. The hamburger style would be for rhetoric and one-sentence explanations like a court brief.

    Politicians would love it. Attorneys would love it. This is how Nancy Grace talks.
     
  6. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    My advice Obis - forget it and start writing.
     
  7. redreversed
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    redreversed Active Member

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    This sounds like the kind of shit my English teacher tells us to do... not that I ever did it in anything except pretend formal letters.

    You don't need to follow that.:)
     
  8. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    You do if you want to get a good grade. :)

    I agree that something like this is complete crap. But what can you do?
     
  9. redreversed
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    redreversed Active Member

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    Aye, such is the sad life of school. I can't wait to be taught something useful so that I can finally get a good grade haha.
     
  10. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Hello obis, Welcome to the Creative Writing Forums.

    Please read How to Use the Writing Workshop before you try to post there. Posting your own writing for people to comment on should not be among the very first things you do here anyway. It is worth taking the time to see what other people have done to improve their writing, and see if some of it applies to your writing as well. That is part of why we require members to review other members' work before posting their own for review. On the other hand, there are no restrictions, other than content and copyright rules, on showcasing your work in your member blog.

    Also, be aware that posting a piece of writing on any public site, including this one, will greatly diminish your chances of selling it for publication. Removing the writing later does not alter that fact - once posted, it is irreversibly considered published. So do not post anything more than a small excerpt of any piece you are planning to submit for publication.

    If you haven't explored the site yet, you should probably do so soon. Newcomers often gravitate to the Lounge, the Writing Prompts, or the Writing Workshop, but there is much more to be discovered if you poke in the corners. Remember to check out our FAQ as well, and be sure to read through the site rules, too, to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Respect for one another is our principal mandate.

    As for the Writing Workshop, new joiners often wonder why we do things a bit differently on this site than on other writing sites. We emphasize constructive critique as a vital writing skill. Training your eye by reviewing other people's work helps you improve your own writing even before you present it for others to see. Therefore, we ask members to review other people's writing before posting work of their own. We also impose a two-week waiting period before you may post writing for critique, to give you time to become familiar with what is expected and how the site operates. The Writing Workshop forums on this site, therefore, are true workshops, not just a bulletin board for displaying your work (and on that note, please only post each item for review in one Writing Workshop forum). Also, please use the same thread for all revisions and additional excerpts from the same piece of writing. See this post, Why Write Reviews Before Posting My Work? for more information.

    And while you're looking around, don't forget to check out the RPG forum for improvisational fiction. Also try our Weekly Short Story Contest and Weekly Poetry Contest. They actually run more than one week apiece, but any member may enter, and all members are urged to vote for their favorites.

    Enjoy your stay here, and have fun!
     
  11. hughesj
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    hughesj Member

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    It depends on what you are writing. This paragraph format is what is taught in school for Essay writing. Definitely not for fiction writing
     
  12. JetBlackGT
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    JetBlackGT Contributing Member

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    I agree.

    I think the hamburger thing would work very well for a very short expository letter like something you would use to pitch an idea to your boss. For example:

    "I want to manufacture a 'wedding ring' that has a groove, machined into the inside lip, to fit a beer bottle cap that will enable the wearer to open beer bottles without a standard opener.
    The groove should fit the industry standard bottle cap so it will have a profile cut of 15 degrees angled to a vertical cut.
    The ring must be made of aluminum to be soft enough to grab the cap lip without slipping and be anodized to last long enough to not wear out but wear enough to look cool.
    The ring will be no less than 6mm wide to accommodate at least one groove without compromising the overall strength of the ring.
    The user will wear the ring on the ring finger, slide the ring forward, to engage the lip of the beer bottle and pry upward to break the seal.
    This will drop the bottle cap into the palm of the hand."

    Then I'd give a brief cost/benefit analysis indicating parts cost, labor cost, machine time, marketing fees and packaging prices including upfront pricing for things like custom box making and printing and the cost of having inserts printed. That would be another hamburger.

    That is a real-world example of how that type of paragraph would be very useful (and stupefyingly boring). You can use as many middle sentences as you want, to bolster your case. Three is not a limit or a minimum.

    In the above case, I machined a tool out of a broken drill bit, fitted teh rings in a lathe and made six copies of the and brought them to the meeting we had later. Friday morning at ten AM and my meeting has no donuts. It has beer. Best meeting ever, right? I pull the beers out of the ice box, wipe them down, like a bartender and slide one each to the participants, followed by an aluminum ring that I polished and anodized gold to look roughly like a wedding ring. ...-ish.

    With a demonstration, I said, in a sleazy voice "That's right gentlemen. Your wedding ring can be used for more than just picking up chicks!" [wink]

    That all got started with a carefully written hamburger (until now, I had no idea it had a name).

    Nothing sells like alcohol, laughter and a demonstration of a cool, smart product packed with "gee-whiz" features.
     

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