1. Animus Discidium
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    Animus Discidium New Member

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    Hello everyone!

    Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Animus Discidium, Feb 3, 2009.

    I'm very new to writing poems/stories, But the forum I was at before gave me no help whatsoever. So I went on a search for a forum that I could get attention and help. I really hope this is it. I started writing poems yesterday when I thought to myself I think I can do this so here I am now with new poems in my head all day.. I'll put the ones I've come up with so far on here.

    Don't Dwell:
    Love is love no matter the pain,
    Pain is pain no matter the hurt
    so why the complain
    of lost time spent
    with the one you loved
    for the one your with.
    Scotty-
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Love struck:
    To fall in love is to fall in death
    The pain is neverending
    the rush is always pending
    the lust is always winning.
    Scotty-
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Please don't leave me:
    The speed of the tires
    The grip of the road
    The tears in her eyes
    The rip in my throat
    The tick of the clock
    The hint of a stroke
    My love is lost
    Her eyes closed tight
    Without her Im completely blight.
    Scotty-
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    chiller:
    Decayed flesh
    rotten bones
    my heart is bleeding
    for your throne.
    -scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    The walk:
    The walk is short
    but the road is long
    I stand before you
    but dont belong.
    -scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Lost hope:
    Broken limbs
    my heart decaying
    my soul is yours
    for the taking
    Scotty-
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Aim high:
    The beating rain falls apon sad faces
    but the breath I take is not for shaking
    Tears of joy run down my face
    As I reach for the stars
    and aim for fame.
    -Scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Discidium:
    Rage in the cage
    But blister in the storm
    my life is reborn
    as my pride is torn.
    -scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Skorn:
    Tear me away from the pain
    it helps me to relive the strain
    of life as a young boy
    mentally beaten and skorned
    This is the price I pay for a life of reborn
    -Scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Miss you:
    Broken hearts
    my soul is shaking
    I look at the moon
    and I hear the taking
    The taking of lives spent happy
    Or lives spent sad
    our love is lost
    but not forgotten.
    Scotty-
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Life:
    To live to die to ride the tide.
    my heart is full of precious ryhms
    my life is full of precious time.
    Scotty-
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Paige:
    Your eyes the deepest of seas
    Your hair the flowing of ease
    My eyes stare gently at you as you breeze
    past me like the morning bees.
    -Scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    My,My:
    My love is the rain that blows in the wind
    My heart is the race that always wins
    My passion is the start of an obession
    While these things keep me running
    Without you I'm nothing.
    -Scotty
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Loveloss:
    The rush, the pain,
    the never ending strain.
    The love is lost,
    but the pain remains.
    -Scotty

    ( I do realize they are short, and I'm working on that but with practice and help I'm sure I can achieve a better poem.)
     
  2. BG_Hambone
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    BG_Hambone Member

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    Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness, a place to
    Greetings.
     
  3. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Hello Animus, Welcome to the Writing Forums.

    Anything you want reviewed must be posted in te Review Room, but it is a full participation workshop. You have to give constructive critiques first to show that you intend to participate, not just expect to receive comments.

    Posting your own work should not be among the very first things you do here anyway. It is worth taking the time to see what other people have done to improve their writing, and see if some of it applies to your writing as well. That is part of why we require members to review other members' work before posting their own for review. On the other hand, there are no restrictions, other than content and copyright rules, on showcasing your work in your member blog.

    If you haven't explored the site yet, you should probably do so soon. Newcomers often gravitate to the Lounge, the Word Games, or the Review Room, but there is much more to be discovered if you poke in the corners. Remember to check out our FAQ as well, and be sure to read through the forum rules, too, to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Respect for one another is our principal mandate.

    As for the Review Room, new joiners often wonder why we do things a bit differently on this site than on other writing sites. We emphasize reviewing as a critical writing skill. Training your eye by reviewing other people's work helps you improve your own writing even before you present it for others to see. Therefore, we ask members to review other people's writing before posting work of their own. The Review Room forums on this site, therefore, are true workshops, not just a bulletin board for displaying your work (and on that note, please only post each item for review in one Review Room forum). See this post, Why Write Reviews Before Posting My Work? for more information.

    And while you're looking around, don't forget to check out our Weekly Short Story Contest and Weekly Poetry Contest. They actually run more than one week apiece, but any member may enter, and all members are urged to vote for their favorites.

    Enjoy your stay here, and have fun!
     
  4. Animus Discidium
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    Animus Discidium New Member

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    Oh, okay I'm sorry I'll keep that In mind next time.
     
  5. Jack
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    Jack Contributing Member

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    Hey Animus! Welcome to the WF!

    I like your poems, but this is not the right place to put them. At least you'll know for next time...

    Nice to meet you
    - Jack
     

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