I'm a little over 50k words into my WIP, and I just introduced a love interest for my MC. Up until this point, Seren (a queen) and Caius (her guard) have been flirting, though it hasn't gone farther than saying nice things and holding hands. Now, Seren is in a neighboring country and has just met Levon, the handsome prince. Levon and Seren are going to end up together. I've planned that from the beginning. But initially, it was going to be a slow build-up. She was going to be interested in both Caius and Levon and be torn between them. But now that I'm writing it, it's happening a lot quicker and more intensely that I planned! Levon ended up being immediately attracted to her, and he's a debonair, so he's kissing her hand and flirting and finding innocent ways to touch her (like whispering in her ear and touching her back to lead her somewhere). Seren is drawn to him quickly, Caius is jealous immediately, and now Seren feels guilty about it. This literally all happened in one chapter. Is this too fast? I don't have much experience with love stories (hell, if we're being honest, I don't have much experience with stories), so I don't know if there's a "right" way to write it. This could just be me being insecure and looking for assurance, who knows? Anyway. What do you think?
The funny thing is this, from a female perspective, picking between several males is acceptable. You know, what, if two of those three males are rejected, that is a bitch for them. Imagine for a moment that the situations were reversed and a guy... off air... But the point is that I do not understand why the cause for equality should find misandry acceptable? The idea is foreign to me. Anyway. Look, regardless of sex, I find the choice between multiple partners unpleasant. It destroys every fundamental of romance (i.e. these people were supposed to be together). It just turns it into a cattle market. Where is the romance in a cattle market?
In my opinion, yes, that's way too fast. Where is the rest of the book going to be if you lay down all your cards in one chapter?
Whoa, pump the brakes. Skrrrt! It's not misandry -- it's life. I've dated guys before who were also dating other girls. I've had those same guys choose other girls over me. I've also had multiple guys interested in me before, and I had to decide whether or not I wanted to "be with" any of them. There's nothing sexist about it. It's just how life works sometimes. This is just a subplot. Also, it's not like they've done anything serious yet. There's still plenty of time to expand on that. They just had an immediate attraction and flirtation. Is it uncommon for that to happen in real life? I don't think so. I used to like Caius too. Originally, I had planned on him being the guy she "chooses" in the end. Yanno, like, he was there the whole time, then Levon shows up and screws it all up, but she comes to her senses and realizes that Caius was always right for her, blah blah blah. But Caius is boring. Not in the sense that I'm writing him to be boring, but his personality is just boring. lol Seren is a rule-breaker and kind of a hot-head. Caius is stern and cautious and by the book. Now that I'm actually writing them and fleshing them out, Caius and Seren just don't make sense. They're too different, even for opposites to attract.
Depends. It sounds like what you've written is what feels more natural. I wouldn't purposely draw something out just because it was planned that way. Lots of conflict at once can certainly be a powerful plot-driving force. And plans can very easily change over the course of the writing--I've often found going with it instead of fighting it results in better material. But if it's throwing off your pacing and causing larger-scale problems, then you have to consider both sides. If it just doesn't make sense for it to move that quickly, then you may need to rethink it. Obviously it's hard for us to say, not having the entirety of your story to work with, but I don't necessarily think there's a definite problem. The key is that it has to be true to your characters (or purposely untrue). Toning down conflict just to make things take longer is something I'd typically argue against, unless it's at the expense of character development. From what you've given in the OP, I have to assume it isn't.
Thanks! That's kind of what I was thinking too. I have a generic outline that I've been following, telling me who goes where and when and what event happens. But all the emotional and conversational pieces are left out. I've been allowing those to develop as I write them. That's how this happened. I allowed the characters to be themselves during their first meeting, and it played out differently than I planned. I personally like it. This is who Levon is. He's friendly and warm and charming. He hasn't lived through hardships the way Seren has, so his attitude is refreshing for her. And Caius feels a sort of protective (I hate to use this word, but it's the closest I can think of) ownership of Seren. He's her right-hand-man. It's his job to protect her, and he's been with her every day since the start of the story. He's grown very attached to her for this reason, and some guy swooping in is a threat to him -- both for his affections and his job. Seren can easily remove Caius from his position and replace him, so Levon threatens that. I feel like it developed naturally and is true to my characters. I just worry others will think it's too fast, even though they haven't kissed or anything (which, by the way, neither have Seren and Caius). But I too believe forcibly extending a plot for the sake of slowing things down can end badly. So I guess the best course of action is to just let this play out. If it becomes a problem later, I can only goes back and change it. Thanks again!
That's typically how I write, as well. To me it sounds like this is the right way to go. Beta readers should be able to help you out in terms of whether if "feels" too fast or not. That's something you may not be able to tell on your own, being as close to the piece as you are. As you said, if it's a problem later, you can always go back and tinker.
The first thing I would ask is..what's next? Do you have enough drama, passion, etc to finish your story? As it is now it looks fine, good even. The second thing I would ask is if "too fast" is somehow a problem? Think about it, in life sometimes relationships come together awfully fast, they do and well...whether they stay together or not...it's still a real thing and very normal. I think, with women, because let's face it, these WILL be your readers. They enjoy reading a tale where there are romance options and they can go in and learn about each and that kind of thing. Hell, if this is for teen readers/young adults you could even add in more romance options and they will LOVE you for it. The main thing to do is give each male, as much story time as the next, so that the reader can get to know each. If you are sticking with the two ONLY, you are at a point in the story where drama can unfold, and estrange the couples, and you still have enough time to reconnect them later on. OH THE DRAMA! The last thing I would ask, is if this is love or lust? It seems that the MC's infatuation with Levon is more lust than love, because he uses magician tricks, flashes and honeyed words to gain her attention so quickly. Caius seems more like the true love because she cares for him even though he isn't all princey. So to wrap up all that babble, I don't think it's too fast at all, and depending how you are writing this, you could use this as story as well. Perhaps the MC realizes that the relationship was in fact too fast, and thus she knows now why it didn't last. The End
Depends on how it's done. I'm not crazy about insta-love in stories mainly because although I get it, it can sometimes water down the conflict. Conflict in romance usually comes two ways - how do we get together or how do we stay together. If you bypass the how do we get together I'm fine but if there is no conflict afterwards then the relationship tends to feel like those mc's in YA fiction with the supportive bff - never around until the mc needs someone to prop them up or bounce plot points off of.
Must have been driving a Toyota, the dam brakes wouldn't work. I was referring to fiction and the tropes used- rel life is unpleasantly, real.
