1. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Help Me or Humiliate Me

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Tenderiser, Jun 15, 2016.

    I have this blog. I struggle to fill it with blog posts because I have approximately three ideas a year.

    I thought to myself, "How can I get the wonderful, imaginative people of WF to help come up with blog ideas for me?"

    "Give them the chance to humiliate you," a voice whispered in my ear. It was the voice of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and so had to be italicised.

    I always listen to the FSM.

    Therefore, I promise to write a blog about every topic suggested to me here, no matter what it is. The only exception is things that will potentially lose me readers, since this is my official author blog. For example, I won't be blogging about dead baby jokes or paedophiles. I only promise to cover the topic, not any content. E.g. if you say, "Blog about your sexual attraction to carrots" I'll blog about sexual attraction and/or carrots but will not be claiming to have a sexual attraction to those juicy little love sticks them.

    I've already done 'names for female genitalia' and 'thick green dinosaur cocks' so don't bother suggesting those.

    Any suggestions gratefully or resentfully received!
     
  2. doggiedude

    doggiedude Contributor Contributor

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    I haven't stopped by your blog in awhile. (Sorry about that, I'll look at it later tonight.) It might help if you give an idea of what the theme of your blog is. (If it has one.)
     
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  3. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    No theme. I just try to be entertaining so people subscribe. :)

    Some of the things I've covered include:
    - Writing sex scenes
    - Book reviews
    - The dangers Monopoly poses to my marriage
    - A eulogy to my cat
    - The Tamun Shud mystery
    - A curse that was placed on me when I was 17
     
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  4. SethLoki

    SethLoki Retired Autodidact Contributor

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    Blog about the difficulty of creativity on demand an imaginary scenario: a blow by blow, linear string of ever increasingly awkward events, as it happens stylee; say you're on an aircraft (or train) sat next to an odd guy who's trying to seduce impress you. All inner thoughts and all as if its true. Then confess only at the end it's pure invention and an instructive whim (at your request) from a poster on a writing forum.
     
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  5. ManOrAstroMan

    ManOrAstroMan Magical Space Detective Contributor

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    Blog about...
    ...the time you showed up for a blind date and she turned out to be a panda bear.
    ...the shifty-looking cloud who followed you around all day.
    ...your short-lived run on So You Think You Can Dance.
     
  6. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Telemachus Sneezed
    You shouldn't have let me see this thread, but I'll keep myself to one truly horrific suggestion.

    Omayra Sanchez

    Have fun.

    p.s. Accept the challenge, and I'll write something on a topic of your (@Tenderiser) choosing on my blog. Which I'll have to link to in my sig, since I haven't yet.
     
  7. doggiedude

    doggiedude Contributor Contributor

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    Avocados!!!
    How about you write about that thing you did that one time with that person you really didn't like but you two ended up getting along really well and murdering a bum together. Great bonding experience. Good times... Good times.

    I guess your agent never answer the questions you sent. I was looking forward to that blog.
    How about you tell the romantic story of how you met your husband & the first date?
     
  8. edamame

    edamame Contributor Contributor

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    Hmm. In keeping with your blog theme, maybe a post about romantic tropes and the ones that don't work but somehow do? If you don't want to tread on another author's toes maybe use a movie for an example of how the trope works well in this one but not the other? I assume a lot of your blog readers will be romance readers and you could get them talking about their own guilty pleasure tropes.
     
  9. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll It's Coffee O'clock everywhere. Contributor

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    You could always have a Q&A with your blog readership.
    Do an interview (You being the interviewee)

    Our young heroin is having writers block, pun withstanding as she writes. So her next move is to poll and ask for new blog topics and ideas. Is this a good idea, perhaps. Or perhaps she has wandered her way into a short fictional story about the very topic she posed. What to do, what to do? A glass of wine, or a mug of coffee as she sits and mulls over the ideas tossed at her. Suppose it is far better if we give her a fun super hero gig, and a cape. Mild mannered romance author by day, and ass kicking masked vigilante by night. An odd pairing of hobby and profession, but with the immense wealth and extra time why not do both. Sultry and steamy scenes of written passion, to play the tough and caped crusader of the night. In time she might write about her secret life of beating up baddies with a cricket bat, and rescuing kittens from being homeless. Of course everyone she surrounds herself with enjoys her company, and have no clue about her midnight brawling for justice. So whether she is typing out love stories to entertain her fan base. Or getting her jollies in bashing bad guys. There is never a dull moment in her life as a wealthy writer, and the hero keeping the world safe for another day.

    Saving the world from the lack of good literature by being a good person and an exceptional author. :supersmile:
     
  10. A man called Valance

    A man called Valance Senior Member

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    'Outtakes and mistakes' could be fun, in writing or in life. (You can control your own humiliation.)
     
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  11. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    Do a blog post about GODDAMN DICHOTOMY!!! :supermad::supermad:
    Or am I projecting there?:supercheeky:
     
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  12. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    What, another one? :D
     
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  13. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    Oh, yes, we do think alike sometimes. What about one on your taste in alcohol? Suckers love that shit for some reason, talk all day about their different mind-killing liquids. "I enjoy a good Long Island Ice Tea but a Bourbon and Coke just can't be be-" BLA BLA, did I say I wanted to hear about your POISON ADDICTION?!!:bigmeh::bigmeh::bigmeh:
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2016
  14. Aled James Taylor

    Aled James Taylor Contributor Contributor

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    So, the Flying Spaghetti Monster speaks in italics - interesting. You could write about your inner voice that tells you what to write, and what not to write.

    P.S. If your inner voice ever speaks to you in CAPITAL LETTERS - worry.
     
  15. Necronox

    Necronox Contributor Contributor

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    You can always blog about your inability to come with ideas for your blog......
     
  16. joeh1234

    joeh1234 Active Member

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    I take it as well as silly suggestions you wanted some serious ones so here it goes:

    Infinity (from its origins as a concept to human understanding of it today).
    Would war end if their were no oceans (still had lakes and stuff).
    Perpetual motion and why people think its impossible so they don't try, but maybe if they tried harder we'd have it.
    Should teaching change? i.e a matrix style knowledge transfer.
    Should humanity focus on science and nothing else to push ourselves forward.
     
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  17. Samuel Lighton

    Samuel Lighton Senior Member

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    Your observations on the effects stray sunbeams have on your cats.

    OR.

    The most embarrassing thing you've ever accidentally done to yourself.
     
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  18. Samuel Lighton

    Samuel Lighton Senior Member

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    Oh and if you pick the first one with the cats, you have to pretend you're a scientist doing a study :D
     
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  19. Sack-a-Doo!

    Sack-a-Doo! Contributor Contributor

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    How about an article on The Art of Beta-reading? You're seriously amazing at that.
     
  20. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Best (or worst) stories you wrote as a child (with samples)

    Funniest or oddest things that inspired your stories

    A list of the most hilariously awkward things that have ever happened to you

    An animal representation of characters from one of your books, or someone else's books

    Gosh my ideas are dull... :nosleep:
     
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  21. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    I'm posting the first one tonight. Just have to pick which one to start with!

    There are several I probably won't use because they're story ideas rather than topics. I might write them as short stories but they can't really be blogs.

    She will answer them eventually. :D I prodded her again today. She recently took on two new clients so she's kind of swamped.
     
  22. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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  23. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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  24. Samuel Lighton

    Samuel Lighton Senior Member

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  25. Samuel Lighton

    Samuel Lighton Senior Member

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    On another note, your writing reminds me a lot of 'Hyperbole and a Half'. This means that I approve massively. Have a gold star! But seeing as there isn't an emote for a gold star, instead I doth doff my hat at thee. :supercool:
     
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