1. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    Help! Need an ending!!!!

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Lorraine Johnson, Sep 25, 2012.

    Okay, so my book is about this teenage rock band, just before they go national. The lead vocalist (the main character you're watching from his point of view) spends all this time chasing a girl. When he thinks he finally has her, he finds out that her boss sexually harassed her so he goes and beats the hell out of him. She gets mad because she asked him not to do anything then tells him not to call her again and runs away.
    He spends months searching for her while they go on tour and finally catches up with her, she tells him she wasn't mad, she was scared. Her boss is a senior member of a motorcycle gang and threatened to kill her if she told anyone.
    The vocalist thinks the best way to help her is to pay this guy off, so he discusses with him a price and pays it (but doesn't let him know who he really is, because he's now rich and the guy would just keep coming after him for more money).
    Finally he thinks they're free, but he has an interview on national tv and tells her he wants to show her to the rest of the country, show them the woman he loves. She tells him 'what if he sees it? if he knows its you I'm with, he'll never leave us alone' so they can never be seen even on the street together. The vocalist finds it unacceptable.
    Now I'm stuck. My original thought was that he hire a hitman to kill this guy, but it's not climatic enough just watching it. But he's only 17, I don't know if he'd pick up the gun himself. I also thought of him getting a rival gang to step in, but again, I can't think how to make it climatic. Can you think of anything? The publisher is really hounding me for the manuscript, I have to get this going.

    My original ending had her leaving and then just coming back, but when I submitted it to the publisher, they loved the story, but thought the ending was lacking so I had to change it. But now I'm stuck. I'd appreciate any and all ideas!
     
  2. louis1
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    louis1 Contributing Member

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    I hope you did your research because the way I read it now, there seems to be stuff missing about how the business works, bands don't have ''bosses'' first of all. they have managers, and managers don't boss around the band, it's an equal system.
    Also managers get 15% of all incomes the band makes, that's how they're paid. So if you have four members in the band. the manager makes 15% (usually manages other bands at the same time) and the four band members all make 20% it's kinda hard to bribe someone who makes as much money as you do. Even more if the manager is in a motorcycle gang then I guess the sell drugs or gun? (maybe not) but if so that's a lot more money so unless you lead vocalist teams up with the rest of the band to raise money then I doubt he could pay off his''boss''

    as for and ending, I'd make the vocalist write a song about what is happening and then the boss finds out, kills the girl and the leader learns it right before performing the song live on national television.
    but I don't like happy endings so this might not be right for your story.
     
  3. DanesDarkLand
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    DanesDarkLand Senior Member

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    Two possibilities that I can think of, one good, one bad but realistic.

    Good ending - Biker tracks the lead singer down, a remote cabin where they are just relaxing, the girl and guy, and through circumstances, the girl has to kill the biker. His men don't know what's going on as this is a side thing and he's trying to keep the cash for himself. Two possibilities in that ending is that his own men execute him for keeping the cash for himself, or his men never find out about the whole thing and she kills him while he's trying to kill the singer.

    Bad ending - She's the biker's lady and they are pulling a scam. He tries to press him for more cash, the info is dropped about who she is, and the singer walks away, making new ballads about love and love lost.

    You have to fill in the blanks, but you get the idea. Have fun.
     
  4. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    It's your story, and the ending is a crucial part of it. It's your responsibility, and your privilege, to come up with it.
     
  5. sprirj
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    sprirj Contributing Member

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    So I think I would mix things up a bit, and have the boss (the biker) as a big fan of the rock band. Bikers and rock bands go hand in hand, so this is believeable, it also creates a love triangle dynamic.
    Perhaps this thread can be interwoven through out?

    Then at a big music festival, main stage, rock band asks girl to marry him. Boss/biker is in the crowd. Bikers tears it up to front of stage. Someone is beaten to death by guitar. :s
     
  6. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    I'm confused = her boss is a biker gang leader? That sounds odd. These guys don't usually run companies so what's going on there? And if he sexually harrassed her, I don't think he'd be too worried anyway. If he'd killed someone in front of her and she knew where the body was buried, he might be a little more concerned, but sexual harrassment is small potatoes to bikies. As for a seventeen year old hitting a biker boss, that sounds very odd. He should have been browning out his pants if he knew what he was, and if he didn't and it was just a simple case of harrassment, why would he bother hitting him at all? She should just get a new job and they should live happily ever after etc.

    Cheers, Greg.
     
  7. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    It's HER boss not theirs. She works at a bar.

    Yea, I thought of that for a bad ending too, but I really don't want to end on a bad note. The good ending isn't too bad, I never thought about the conflict about him keeping the money to himself. Sounds like a very real possibility.

    She works in a bar, so the boss owns the bar. You know how bikey's and bars go together. When the vocalist hit him, he didn't realise he was a biker, he thought he was just some creep. She wanted to run away and work somewhere else, but she has a baby and the boss threatened to hurt him if she left. He fired her in the end though, so she was free, but because the vocalist went behind her back and beat the guy, she knew she had to run.
     
  8. Marcus_Geiser_Sr
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    Marcus_Geiser_Sr New Member

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    How about all biker gangs have hangers on that are allowed to be around the outskirts of the MC if they are useful. I would put in an angle where he goes to the biker and offers to take it on the chin as payback, accept the consequences, love makes guys especially young ones do dumb stuff. The biker then tells him he will line up a gig and he brings back a package on the bus no questions asked and this repays the debt.

    Just my .02...

    SOA meets Breaking Bad.
     
  9. Trilby
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    Trilby Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree with Cogito - it's your story; would you really be satisfied with it if someone else came up with the ending?
     
  10. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    I know, I really don't want to have to credit someone else with the ending, but I've been stuck for a month and the publisher's are really hounding me. It needs to start being printed now to be ready to the busy season in 3months. Posting it on here is my last desperate attempt.
     
  11. Trilby
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    Trilby Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'm puzzled? - it is her boss that has been harassing her - the vocalist is now in the money - so, why doesn't she just leave her job? I cannot see an ongoing problem. Am I missing something?
     
  12. grafik
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    grafik New Member

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    As Trilby said, I'm a little puzzled as well...
     
  13. prettyprettyprettygood
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    prettyprettyprettygood Active Member

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    Perhaps it would be more of a climax if there was a 'race against time'. So instead of the MC insisting his girlfriend goes on tv (which would be pretty crappy of him, biker or not) maybe they get papparazzi'd and photos end up in a paper or on tv without them having any choice in it. They then need to get to him, with a hitman, police, poison or whatever, before he gets to them. Perhaps the girlfriend acts as a honeytrap, tempting him somewhere that they can kill him or whatever?
     
  14. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    She was fired and he beat the guy before he came into the money and even then, they weren't official, they had only kissed once so she wasn't in a position to leave her job and rely on him. Also he threatened her, so she couldn't leave, she had to wait until she was fired.
    Then it wasn't until months later when he found her again that she told him he was a biker and had threatened her. He doesn't think of the plan of paying him off until after.
     
  15. ManicHedgehog
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    ManicHedgehog Member

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    We can't write this ending for you. Only your characters can. I would go back and study your MC throughout the story, perhaps list all the qualities you have assigned him, and decide whether you truly believe he would do the deed. If you can't answer that question just by reading the story to that point, then you need to go back and flesh out the character until it becomes clear. Few things force a reader to put a book down faster than saying, "Why did the MC do that? The MC I know wouldn't do that." Or, even worse, not knowing a character well enough by the climax to predict what he might do.
     
  16. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    OK I think I get the idea now. I'm still confused as to why a seventeen year old would be punching a bar owner - that's a little extreme. But never mind. Try this for size.

    Somehow the hero comes up with a brilliant plan to stuff the bar owner up. Gives him some concert tickets to his concert and then writes a brilliant song outing him as a sexual abuser in front of thousands of screaming fans. (I'm thinking here of something like Phil Collins outing of a man who let his friend drown when he was a kid, with the "Something in the Air" song. Of course that did not end particularly happily.

    But let's say your hero is a little cleverer than that, and uses the PR to make sure that the bar owner would never dare to come near either of them again.

    Cheers, Greg.
     
  17. Cristian
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    Cristian Member

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    Think of something unconventional, something that'll shock the reader. Make sure it's not TOO abrupt, though.
     
  18. littleshoe
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    littleshoe Member

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    I agree with Cogito but I don’t agree with Cogito. Only you can come up with it but we can help you.

    1. The ending must be coherent:

    If the hero is violent, he could kill the bad guy.
    If the hero is idealistic, he could sacrifice his career for her.
    If the heroine is idealistic, she could sacrifice herself for his career.
    If there is a higher authority, they could ask for help.
    ...

    2. Anyway, the ending should show some progress:

    The situation has improved for everybody (or it got worst)
    People have learned something (or have changed their attitude)
    The reader has learned something (or is asking for answers)
    ...

    The end shows something fundamental has changed. (If you dedicate 100 pages to their love and 20 pages to the problems caused by the bad guy, killing the bad guy will not change too much. If you dedicate 100 pages to his career and 20 pages to their love, breaking apart will not change too much).


    3. At the first level, writing is an illustration tool. You tell something. At the second level, writing is an expression tool. You say something.

    What do you want to say? (i.e: love will prevail, life sucks, trees are beautiful, we are all equal…)

    At the end, the most important is what you want to say.
    Life is absurd: Martians save the couple.
    Life is mystical: God saves the couple.
    ...

    Great writers tell few things but say a lot. And, the best way to say a lot is working on interpretation. Think of the reader as a co-author. Allow space for his imagination and/or addition of values.

    These are not rules. However, you should ask yourself what you want to say. Then, you should ask if it is an absolute or if the reader can have an opinion.

    What I am trying to tell you is that (often) bad endings happen because they are not coherent (Hero or solution appear at the last pages: it is not part of the composition/writing) or they state nothing (nothing has changed or the writer has nothing to say)
     
  19. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    Thanks everyone for you insight but I think I may have FINALLY come up with the ending on my own. Lets hope I can still finish in time for publishing.
     
  20. phild
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    phild New Member

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    Ok here's my best quick idea for an ending:

    As I cant really see her wanting to be on tv with everything going on - in fact most managers will not want to publicize the fact that musicians are in a serious relationship (though you could still leave it in and it would work). I would have them photographed together by paparazzi and have another biker person show pic in newspaper/magazine to her ex-boss - and say isn't that so and so that use to work here with this rockstar kid. And boss goes out to find him - which will be easy for him because he finds out rockstar has a show coming up at such and such a place and through his connections finds out what hotel he will be staying at.

    Except it's not revenge at all - the photo and everything is part of teenage rockstar's intricate plan to trap the biker guy, maybe with hidden camera phone, and then he will give evidence to police to get rid of him once and for all. Except the rockstar's plan does not go as planned, as biker/boss does not want more money, but wants to kill him right then and there (he's had some time to build a hatred/jealousy for rockstar) and now rockstar and boss/biker fight it out on 23rd floor hotel room with balcony overlooking a rocky shore far below.


    (just noticed you found an ending while I was typing mine) Good Luck!!
     
  21. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    After all this, you have to tell us what the ending is! (although I can see how/why you may not want to or are not allowed to)
     
  22. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    Haha, I probably shouldn't, it will give you more incentive to buy the ebook when it comes out. But I'm going to go with the bad ending of her actually being involved with the boss (which I really didn't want to do) but I've added a good ending after that, so I think I'm happy with it.
     
  23. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Sounds like a very good twist :) Good luck! What's the book called?
     
  24. Lorraine Johnson
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    Lorraine Johnson Member

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    Music for Her since he writes a whole album worth of songs for her.
     
  25. SuperVenom
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    SuperVenom Contributing Member

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    Why wouldn't he bring a gun? he might not use it, they could tussle and when i comes to a stand off with the boss, strangling him the girl grabs gun points it at the boss who runs at her grabs her and the gun goes off. so she ends her torment. Mind you a 17 year old beating a biker guy thats the bit i wonder about.
     

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