1. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    help with a scene in a story.

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by mg357, Dec 13, 2012.

    I am working on a story about two sibilings who are on the run from their abusive father an 18 year old brother and the sister is 19 years old .

    Anyway at one point in the story the Brother who is a virgin tells his sister that he want's to lose his virginity, and the sister helps him with this somehow,

    I won't say how because it will give away part of the story.

    But here is the problem where do i put the sex part? i want it to be in the middle of the portion of the story itself but i am not sure where exactly in the middle portion please help me.
     
  2. sidtvicious
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    sidtvicious Contributing Member Contributor

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    Put it where it seems to fit? I'd write the story and see where it ends up. Asking the forum where to put something is kind of unfair. We don't know the story. You do. So, put it where it fits.
     
  3. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    Here is what i have so far the sister and her brother are laying in there separate beds trying to sleep, but they can't sleep so they decide to talk the brother looks at his sister and says her name then i'm stuck it is some time after sometime after this conversation is where i want to put the sex part but i don't know how to connect the conversation they have to the sex scene and if i can't connect them the story won't get written.
     
  4. sidtvicious
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    sidtvicious Contributing Member Contributor

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    You don't have to write things chronologically. Write the sex scene now and tie the scenes together later on. But if you insist, it seems that what you're really having problems with is what that conversation is about. How about something regarding they're childhood? Growing up? The Future? Where are they going? If they are running from an abusive father, a lot should be going on up there--plenty to talk about.
     
  5. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    They're already connected -- they're the same topic of discussion. You don't need to do anything more to specifically link them together, because the reader will have already read the conversation and will remember it. I've got that creepy feeling that the brother is going to have sex with the sister, and if that's the case, believe me, no one is going to forget the conversation. If that is the case, put it in whenever it feels natural between them. (Just because it's creepy doesn't mean you can't write about it -- it's been done many times.) However, if it is not the case, and the brother has sex with someone else, put it in whenever it seems natural given the relationship the brother has with that other person.
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    If you aren't sure where it belongs, maybe it doesn't belong at all.

    Even if it does belong, no one but you can tell you where to stick it.
     
  7. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    delete
     
  8. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Why do you HAVE to have this sex scene anyway? Is it very important exactly how he has sex?

    Surely you should put the sex scene after the lead-up to it - eg. how he meets the girl, back to bedroom/hotel, sex.

    And yeah like Chicagoliz says, I've got this creepy feeling that the brother's gonna sleep with his sister. Certainly no one will forget that conversation!
     
  9. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    McKK well the brother in the story is virgin and all his life he has to study study study because if he does not get good grades in school his dad would abuse him. Because of this he has had no time for a social life and now that he is free of his abusive dad he says to himself " I have spent my life studying my butt off and getting good grades because if i didn't i would be abused, now that i am free of that abuse i want to do what i want and what i want is sex".
     
  10. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    I know this is going to sound crazy, but 18 is not a ridiculously old age to be a virgin. And even if they have not been abused, and have not been spending all their free time studying, all any 18 year old boy wants is sex.
     
  11. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    I know it sounds crazy but when it comes to how i write and what i like to write i am a bit crazy.
     
  12. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    You can be as crazy as you want. My point is that an 18 year old boy wanting to have sex is not unique. You can make his quest unique, and his personality unique, his family dynamic unique, but his desire, in and of itself, is not unusual, and on the contrary, would be expected.
     
  13. mg357
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    mg357 Active Member

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    Ok i will do that i will make the physical as well as his emotional journey as unique as possible and i will shape his personality as best i can.
     

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