1. Jpell
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    Jpell New Member

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    Help with a sentence on word choice.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Jpell, Mar 18, 2013.

    what sounds better?

    It was not the sun that awoke me that morning, but an apocalyptic din which filled every nook and hollow.
    It was not the sun that awoke me that morning, but an apocalyptic din that filled every nook and hollow.
    It was not the sun that awoke me that morning, but an apocalyptic din for it filled every nook and hollow.
    It was not the sun that awoke me that morning, but an apocalyptic din as it filled every nook and hollow.

    Which one is correct?
    Explanation would be great!
     
  2. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    "Which" sounds better. ;)

    "That" for your sentence but the sentence sounds a tad awkward either way.


    As for 'which' or 'what' sounds better, I should be clear I was kidding. In Spanish "which" would be correct and "what" would not be, but I believe in English either is OK. It's just that "what one" doesn't sound right to me ever since I learned Spanish.
     
  3. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    which - just sounds better
     
  4. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    BTW, there are sources on the Web for this question. Probably more reliable than forum opinions like mine. :)
     
  5. Jpell
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    Jpell New Member

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    que uno sounds terrible. i added more choices i am kinda leaning towards for it.... People on this forum do not like reading/writing with for. :eek:
     
  6. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    I think so too, but I also wonder if it's because the explanation for why one was OK in Spanish and one was not has affected my perception of the two words.
     
  7. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    En Español, lo qué uno es correcto, pero, cuál uno es, significa algo diferente. En Inglés no creo que es lo mismo.

    ¿Qué es? - means, what is it?
    ¿Cuál es? - means, which one is it?
     
  8. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Why is this discussion in Spanish? The forum rules are that all posts are to be in English, and the original question was in English. Where did Spanish come into it?
     
  9. TheLeonard112
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    TheLeonard112 Sūpākūru Senpai

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    Which.

    It would sound better, and just sounds more proper, like someone is speaking proper English. And not Spanish.
     
  10. lostinwebspace
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    lostinwebspace Active Member

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    Hate to go against popular opinion, but "which" isn't grammatically correct. It's an issue of restrictive vs. nonrestrictive clauses. You could say "It was not the sun that awoke me that morning, but an apocalyptic din, which filled every nook and hollow." Or you could say "It was not the sun that awoke me that morning, but an apocalyptic din that filled every nook and hollow."

    If you want my opinion, I'd go with "that."
     
  11. thirdwind
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    thirdwind Contributing Member Contest Administrator Reviewer Contributor

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    Seconded. Of course, if this is fiction, you could get away with using "which" without a comma, but I'd still go with "that."
     
  12. Nee
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    Nee Contributing Member

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    It wasn't the sun that woke me, but the apocalyptic din thundering down the holler.
     
  13. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Sorry, my bad. :redface:

    It's a personal thing of mine with which and that. Learning Spanish really did make this issue in English confusing for me ever since.
     
  14. madhoca
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    madhoca Contributing Member Contributor

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    I wouldn't say I like them all, personally, but all of them are correct. Except that you need a comma before "which", as lostinwebspace says, because it is a non-defining clause (think of the comma as being like brackets/paranthesis enclosing extra information). "That" defines the clause before it, so no comma.
     
  15. GingerCoffee
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    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    For some bizarre reason that I have yet to figure out, when I use "which" Word's grammar correction wants a semicolon preceding it, and when I use "that", a preceding comma will do. Anyone know why this is? (Not in every sentence, but in sentences when the punctuation is called for. I can probably find examples in my novel.)
     
  16. jannert
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    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

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    I ran across this a while back - I think it was some Wiki thingy, but can't remember exactly. It might help?
    [FONT=Times, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]
    In a nutshell: If the sentence doesn't need the clause you're introducing, and it's just giving additional information, use 'which.'

    If the sentence DOES need the clause, and would mean something different if the clause wasn't there, then use 'that.'

    The example given was this:

    Our office, which has two lunchrooms, is located in Cincinnati. - The fact that the office has two lunchrooms isn't the point of this sentence. The point is to tell you where the office is located.

    Our office that has two lunchrooms is located in Cincinnati. - This is telling you where the two-lunchroom office is located. You will assume that all their other offices have only one lunchroom.

    Note the difference in the use of commas.


    [/FONT]
    [/FONT]
     
  17. writingismypassion
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    writingismypassion Member

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    Well, the "for it" doesn't even really make since in that sentance, "for it" is more describing something not in pretence I guess. "As it" is more describing something as it's happening, which may make a little more since, but since I don't know you're story or the rest of the paragraph or what-not even, I'm going to rule that one out to because from what it sounds like, you are trying to make a symally and describe a loud noise or something else entirley that awoke your character that was sleeping. And as for the "which" well, that doesn't really make since either in your sentance; for one, it just doesn't really sound good in it, and two, the "which" is more like an option. Like, "which" would you rather have, the candy or the puppy? So I would go with the "that" because it more describes what's going on the best.

    Hope that helps!
     
  18. SwampDog
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    SwampDog Contributing Member

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    .
    The OP asks for the choice that sounds better, and the correct choice (if different.) As for the correct choice, it depends on what the author hopes to achieve.
    In the above case, I'd put a comma after the word 'din', as what follows is simply describing the din (filling every nook and hollow yet still an apocalyptic din.)

    In this second example, the subject is awoken by a specific apocalyptic din (i.e. one filling every nook and hollow) and not any old apocalyptic din.

    I suspect the OP was seeking the latter, and it sounds more dramatic, so go with that.
     
  19. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    'woke' is better verb choice...
    two 'that's in a row is awkward, not good writing...
    'which' is ungrammatical, but adding a third 'that' is not a good idea, either...
    using 'for it' calls for a comma after 'din'...
    same goes for 'as it'...
    'nook and hollow' makes little sense...

    you'd do better to reword the whole thing... one way it can be done:

    ...it's clear that 'an apocalyptic din' would be heard far and wide, so why state the obvious?...
     
  20. Jpell
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    Jpell New Member

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    Thanks everyone for your help!
     
  21. iolair
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    iolair Active Member

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    Bypassing the original question entirely, IMHO, the above is unnecessary and weakens your whole sentence.

    "An apocalyptic din woke me that morning" is enough, stronger and stands by itself.

    But apocalyptic (nice word) and woke are a bit telling rather than showing. How about:
    "An awful clanging filled the room. I blinked my eyes open, squinting at the clock. Six AM. Damn."
     
  22. cazann34
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    cazann34 Active Member

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    I agree.
     

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