So, I have been wanting to write a book for a while now, but I never have sat down and done it. Well, now I want to, but I don't have a solid story yet, and I don't have a lot of experience. So, I sat down and wrote the first thing that came to my mind so I could get the juices flowing, and work on getting better at writing. I just want to know if this sounds interesting so far to anyone. It's pretty cliche, but oh well. Let me know what you think and any other suggestions regarding this story line or tips for a different one. Thanks! (btw, ignore my grammatical mistakes and inconsistencies if you can) “WHOOSH” the ball said as it flew past his ear. The little boy hopped over an empty barrel and ran after it. “Com’on Sarah!” he said with a grin “It’ll get away!” Sarah ran up to him with surprising speed “I’m not going anywhere unless we stop for a rest, you have me running half way across town!” At this point, her face was red and she had her hands on her hips. She was only 8, but she had been taught more than enough sass from her mother and sisters. She was a few inches taller than the boy, even though they were the same age. “We gotta go now, or else we’ll lose it! It’s bounced straight down the hill!” he exclaimed “Com’on, downhill is easy!” He started down the hill before she grabbed his arm “It’s the part where you throw it up the next hill that I am worried about. Let’s just sit at this barrel for a minute.” The boy gave her a look, then went and climbed on top of the barrel. Sarah sat down and took out her flask of water. The boy eyed is eagerly “Gimme!” he said while reaching out with his grubby hands. “No! You drank all yours an hour ago, that’s not my fault.” The boy sat down with a grunt and looked at the cobble stone street. Suddenly he looked up with excitement “We could patch this barrel up and float down the river on it! Look, this stick could be the oar and we could paddle all the way to (insert a town name)!” She girl looked at the barrel she was sitting on with some interest, then looked at the boy in disgust. “We don’t have anything to patch it up, and even if we did, it wouldn’t float good. Maybe if we found another one and tied them together…” She words trail off as she thought about it. She often wondered why she hung out with the boy, but whenever she did, interesting stuff always seemed to happen and she (usually) didn’t get into trouble for it. The boy on the other hand was always getting in to trouble, and anything else he could get into. The boy now looked around for another barrel, but only saw the house and stores that lined the road they were on, and quickly lost interest. The house and stores were made of tan, dried mud, with clay tiled roofs. They were packed really tight, but every hundred feet or so there was an alley or another road. There were also many tents set up, selling or trading food, tools, and anything else you would expect to see when the traders were in town. The boy walked away from the barrel to the nearest alley. “If I didn’t have a house, I would steal a tent and set up camp in one of these!” Sarah looked back and rolled her eye at him as he hopped around, “The owners would get the guards to kick you out, they don’t like the poor beggars here.” He looked back and gave her a friendly snarl, but kept going back into the alley. After a second he yelled to her “Oh boy! Sarah com’ere!” Sarah rolled her eyes again, but secretly she hoped he had found something worthwhile. She got up and ran to the front of the alley. Even without going in, she could tell by the smell that the owner had been using the alley as a waste dump. Sarah stepped through and carefully walked towards the boy, trying not to step on anything gross. The boy turned around with excitement and said “Look’it! I found another barrel!” Sarah could see under a large pile trash was another barrel that was also filled with trash. “You brought me through all this muck to show me this? It looks worse than the other one!” Sarah made a face and continued “My feet are all dirty! What will Ma say? She gonna ask us where we’ve been.” Sarah was now red again, but the boy wasn’t discouraged in the least “Com’on, help me move all the trash off it!” Suddenly the trash pile to the right of them shuffled a little and Sarah let out a small scream. The boy turned around with a determined, almost angry expression, ready to fight whatever danger was before them. “What… what was that?” Sarah asked, her voice a little weaker than before. “It was probably a raccoon (or some other animal this world has)! Or maybe a nest of baby birds!” The boy was now back to his excited self as he started removing the piled trash. Sarah looked at the exit of the alley longingly. “Let’s just go,” as she looked “it doesn’t matter what it is…” She stopped cold and so did the boy. They stood there frozen, their blood suddenly chilled at what they saw. Neither of them moved until the boy looked back with a horrified expression. “Sar... Sarah…” Just then, Sarah let out the loudest, scariest scream the boy had ever heard. When she finished, she still sat there frozen in place. The boy looked back to what he had just uncovered in the trash pile. The face of a man was barely visible. A man that wasn’t moving. The boy was now frantically tugging on Sarah’s arm, trying to pull her down the alley, but she couldn’t move. “COM’ON, LET’S GO SARAH!” He was determined not to leave her, but she wasn’t making it easy. “HELP!” he yelled down the alley as he pulled “We have to leave Sarah! GO!” Sarah finally looked away from the face. “I..” was all she squeaked out as she began to move. They finally turned to run, but suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed the boy. The boy turned and frantically tried to loosen the grip of the man. “(the real name of the boy)…” the man said, and then seemed to fade out of consciousness and let go of him. Sarah continued to run, but the boy stopped in his tracks and once again was frozen. He stared blankly at what the man had said. Sarah turned back and yelled at him to run, but he sat there. In the back of his mind he heard someone else shouting at Sarah, then she told them what had happened. Someone came over and took the boy out of the alley. By then, there was a large group of people surrounding the entrance to the alley. Everyone was trying to figure out what had happened. The man sat the boy and Sarah on the barrel as the people tried to figure out how the man came to be there. Sarah was balling, but the boy sat there with the same blank stare. “(the real name of the boy)…” he muttered. (However many years later) It would then continue with an older version of the boy and Sarah. Not mentioning the boys name until the end was obviously intentional. He is supposed to remember his real name after the guy says it. Or, at least it means something to him. Thanks for the feedback! Don't hold back either though, I know this is pretty rough (no false modesty intended).
its very detailed (but I don't get why you don't give him a nickname or something could because of your plot) but if u did use an obvious nickname then the real name would still have special value. but I still like it. as you say your new to writing so here are suggestions to help you get more story ideas. *make a story idea notebook to write up when you come up with stuff you could also record dreams that may help with making story ideas or concepts. *make a list of story genres and ones that interest or help come up with ideas. *write up a list of problems with a character might face for example: murder, cancer, a disability, a badguy or bully, money trouble, boredom, fights with family members or friends or grudges, ghosts, zombies, monsters, demons etc. *goals or dreams you like for example: be a popstar, cop, sports-star, have a million dollars, save a country from crruption etc. hope this helps
