Well, I am not technically... Ah, what the hell, nobody will remember me. I am new. New, new, new. Ignore my post count. I am Chaos Octopus (or Ben, y’know, whatever.) I appeared on this site for a week or so about two years ago, never really posted anything I had written, told someone off for writing in American English and then disappeared like a semi-literate ninja. Maybe I forgot about the site, maybe I just decided I didn’t like any of you (or your ancestors, this was probably two whole years ago remember.) Back then I used to write short stories all the time, nobody even had to read them, I just enjoyed writing. Now cut to the grim, dystopian present day, in which I haven’t written anything in ages. I always have stories I want to tell, I just have not been able to put magical computer pen to magical computer paper, and then I suddenly remembered this place existed. I guess I returned here looking for an excuse to write as much as anything else, although if I could one day be an actual real published author that would be awesome, so criticism would be greatly appreciated. I hope you fellows can find it in your collective computer hearts (it’s still the future) to help me rekindle my past love of writing. If that seems like it might take a lot of effort that’s probably just because I made it sound quite dramatic. Also, be patient. I could never spel.