1. UnknowingWriter

    UnknowingWriter New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2007
    Messages:
    56
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rio Rancho, NM

    New Idea...

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by UnknowingWriter, Mar 15, 2008.

    Hey all, It's been awhile since I've even logged on, but today as I was listening to the small amount of Rap that I like, (Mind you, I love Rock,Indy,Rap,Hardcore, everything really).

    I was also in some odd coincidence watching Gangland on History Channel.

    I then started to come up with an Idea. Bet you have guessed it by now.

    A story about gangs.

    It would go something like this

    The year is 2015, and two years before, police destroyed the remaining gangs left in the USA. Soon after, other countries drove gangs out with whatever force.

    AJ lives in LA, where he keeps a low profile with his four other homies. As they sit out on the streets, they see a memeber of a neighborhood small gang get attacked by the Cops. His brother soon joins a gang, and influenced by these events, makes a gang with his friends, the Black Hand.

    They grow in power, and soon control the greater east LA. He then combines the smaller gangs into an organized group, and they soon have powers all across the US.

    An FBI Agent, Bren Smith is assigned to the case, and starts to infiltrate the ranks of the mass gang, now with near 10,000 members, and the 4 leaders, all under the close watch of AJ.

    AJ soon realizes the threat and runs to Mexico, and groups up with the Mexican Mafia, and together they attack the FBI forces that have found them.

    AJ then is stabbed in the back by his brother who takes over the gang. AJ, being thrown out teams up with Bren in order to secure the Black Hand once again.



    Fun eh?
     
  2. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    are you aware of the history of the sicilian 'black hand' that goes back to the 1700's?... why did you choose that name for your hispanic gang?
     
  3. lordofhats

    lordofhats New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    2,022
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    The Hat Cave
    I like the idea, though I must say the concept that every street gang in the US gets beat is a real bump on my implausibility detector. Gangs are part of city life and have been going all the way back to the early days of the industrial revolution and in some cases centuries prior.

    I agree with maia too. Black Hand is taken, plus, it s alittle cliche. I can't tell you how many times I've heard of an evil criminal empire going by the name Black Hand.

    Oh yeah. The FBI can't go into Mexico. They'll get arrested and probably sent to a mexican prison. Usually is a criminal escapes to mexico the US can't do anything about it. I mean in fiction sometimes the CIA or military might do some crazy covert op but thats not the FBI's job. FBI only deals with crimes of the federal level or crimes that cross state boundries.

    The implausibility of some of these things set aside, you have some good plot twists. AJ getting stabbed in the back by his bro and then teaming up with his former enemy is certainly an exciting concept.
     
  4. TWErvin2

    TWErvin2 Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Messages:
    3,374
    Likes Received:
    1,629
    Location:
    Ohio, USA
    UnknowingWriter,

    Beyond what has already been stated...if all the gangs in the USA were virtually wiped out...and after that the rest of the world was doing the same...why would the gangs be allowed to easily build up to 10,000 members again? The methods used would have had to be very effective in the first place, and why would the USA sit idle, allowing gangs to reform, even on a small scale once stamped out, while the rest of the world is focused on it and succeeding in eliminating what remains in their countries?

    That reason may be part of the plot, but from what you described...(public outrage at the brutality, the technology used by the authorities is no longer effective, corruption, etc are all possibilities, among others you could come up with).

    Also not mentioned is what criminal activity holds the gangs together...funds them, gives the members a reason to join and the authorities a reason to oppose them? Is it something new, or the old drugs, prostitution, illegal gambling, etc, that ran through the 1900s up until 2013/2015?

    I am not posting this for an explanation. Just something for you to consider as you form your plotline before writing.

    Good luck.

    Terry
     
  5. apocalist

    apocalist New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2008
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0
    underground gangs perhaps... but 10,000 is very unlikely for underground there would have to be vast publicity.... media attention all sorts of stuff for those numbers and this seems a tad farfetched for a plot story... but could be tweaked up a bit to be reasonable... if you have an effective story with detail and it works in the story it will work tho... just cant be stupid... ya know... like 1 man fighting a war by himself... stuff like that... like kill bill... make it believable
     
  6. soujiroseta

    soujiroseta Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2008
    Messages:
    199
    Likes Received:
    27
    Location:
    Harare, Zimbabwe
    it sounds interesting but i think you'd have to have some strong characters in order to pull off the gang thing. its been so played out by bad movies. but the thought of the brother stabbing your MC in the back got me excited. i think you should go for it it's worth a try.:)
     
  7. (Mark)

    (Mark) New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2008
    Messages:
    2,605
    Likes Received:
    8
    The United States, or any other country, will never win the war on gangs, just like it won't ever win the war on drugs, poverty etc.
     
  8. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    and that's the beauty of being a writer!... see what you can do about it... http://saysmom.com/maia/content.asp?Writing=161
     
  9. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    36,161
    Likes Received:
    2,827
    Location:
    Massachusetts, USA
    The pen is mightier than the sword - just don't try to write with a sword or stab with a pen.
     
  10. lordofhats

    lordofhats New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    2,022
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    The Hat Cave
    You know, Darth Vader tried dueling Luke Skywalker with a pen. It didn't end well. Therefore we can conclude that the pen is mighter than the sword, but the Lightsaber kicks both their butts :p.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice