Hello everyone, I have been mulling over my story InDanger this week. I am finding things that are missing on it, there have been missing detail and which are improtant. But I reckon there is a good story in there, waiting to come out. I am sure it needs a rethink. I've been planning to have it in short story series. It will be through the eyes of two different characters. It will about dealing the stess of the war experinces they had and how they come terms with it. They both know each other. It will be a tense, sad and dark. But what i feel i need help with is... to how to balanced the action and storytelling?
I would like more details about your specific problem. Why do you feel like you need help balancing action and storytelling?
I just feel in the first two drafts had too much action but not much in story. So I have been thinking maybe some backstory, more detail may help. How can get the sadness through to the reader, My first mc had gone a war, and so did his old firend howerever, I can express it better. I don't want too much action like the other drafts.
Don't focus on backstory, for one. Focus on the here and now. Know exactly what your character wants overall, and all the steps he needs to get there. It sounds like your action doesn't really contribute to your here-and-now story. Your action should have to do directly WITH the story; it should pertain directly TO the plot. e.g. If his ultimate goal is to find his kidnapped daughter, he doesn't just get into a fight. He gets into a fight BECAUSE the other person is trying to stop him from finding the kidnapper. What is your MC's ultimate goal? What is the story about him finding/achieving/recovering, etc?
It is all about finding redempton. He's a man who'd had horiffic war experinces that no person should see or experince it. At the end he was to recover from the pain and be at ease with a old solider. In the time in the story, his friend broke contact and now hate him.
It sounds like you don't have a tangible goal. Finding redemption and recovering from the pain are great, but you need a more tangible goal for him to reach. This is to overall represent his accomplishment of the intangible goals you mentioned. (Every story has both) For example, say someone wants to be rich. This, too, is an intangible goal. What do they DO to actually become rich? Perhaps his new, tangible goal is to rob a bank. By robbing a bank, he is able to become rich. Fill in the blank: By ____________, he is able to find redemption and recover from the pain.
OK... let's see if I can work out what you're asking for help with. Balancing the action with the story? If the story is about the trauma of war you want to actually minimize the action elements and focus on the aftermath. When you write a flashback don't write about the gunfight don't write it like an action movie, write something like "A crack, the familiar smell of gunpowder, a tearing sound and the coppery tang of blood. He crumpled to the ground, eyes going dark, lungs struggling for air that was being forced out the dark stain on his chest. Soon they too collapsed" . If the story is about coming to terms with what he did in the war write about those events, focus on why he feels bad about what he did, his memories of those he lost, those he killed. Write about how he tries to justify it "It was for my country, they would have killed me without a second thought, it was me or them".
By saving a girl? he is able to find redemption and recover from the pain. That is very helpful and I will put your advice to good use.
If he is trying to save a girl, then the plot should focus on that. His main goal is saving her, and so each scene should thus reveal more about his quest to save her, as well as relevant backstory.
