1. The Blood Countess
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    The Blood Countess Member

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    How should my heroine react in this situation?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by The Blood Countess, May 30, 2012.

    Okay, in these situations(plural). You see, I have this problem...to where I'm extremely detached. I'm a little aloof when it comes to emotions and how to react accordingly. A gun could be held to my head and I'd look around the room for hints. "Should I cry or scream? Help me out guys."

    So, in the name of REALISM, I would appreciate some help. Here is the character bio:
    Name: Sandy
    Age: 17
    Details: She's tough, a tomboy, lives in the country, knows how to handle a gun, helps around the ranch, is a daydreamer, likes to think about things on deep levels, very mature for her age, can't relate to the people her age because of her maturity, is having a sort of religious crisis(starting to lose faith).

    Here are the situations:
    1) Sandy spots two grown men on her property tussling. When she sees one pull a knife and continue to stab the other, she reluctantly shoots. The man dies immediately.
    Note: I picture her knees buckling, falling to a sit, wide eyed, mouth agape, and silent. I mean, she just KILLED someone. What do you think goes best here?

    2) The man who was stabbed spontaneously heals(*wink, wink*). He grabs Sandy by the arm and urges her saying, "We have to leave! Get up! Hurry!" (I personally see her trying to get away from him. After all, he's a stranger.) He says this: "Either stay here and die, or come with me and possibly live."
    Note: I see Sandy at first trying to escape from his grasp, screaming, "Let go of me! Don't touch me!" When he says the last part, I think she should still struggle to get away from him. What do you think? BTW, the gun was dropped. If she falls down in shock, the gun is dropped at her side, and when the man takes her by the arm, she's pulled father away from it. So it's not within reach.

    3) Sandy is dragged by the man into the swamplands(it's the country) where, I think, she should continue to struggle. She's taken to a campground where there are other people. When she recognizes one as a good friend, I think the man should let go of her and let her run to the friend.
    Note: I don't think she can really be calm until the friend sort of "introduces" her to the man. It would be more like, "Sandy, it's okay. I know him." Etc. What do you think?

    This is a paranormal YA series and "the man" is very large, so it's only plausible that she'd be unsuccessful in overpowering him(as she herself is very small). However, I'd like her reactions to be as realistic as possible. Suggestions and criticism are welcome!

    Thank you.
     
  2. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    > Here are the situations: 1) Sandy spots two grown men on her
    > property tussling. When she sees one pull a knife and continue to
    > stab the other, she reluctantly shoots. The man dies immediately.
    > Note: I picture her knees buckling, falling to a sit, wide eyed,
    > mouth agape, and silent. I mean, she just KILLED someone. What do
    > you think goes best here?

    Given her generally tough and practical character, I don't see her going to pieces at precisely this point. There are still very important things to do - the guy who was stabbed might be alive and need an ambulance, the guy who stabbed him might still be a threat. I don't think that she'd have that "it's all over" adrenaline-ebbing collapse yet. She'll freak out later.

    > 2) The man who was stabbed spontaneously heals(*wink, wink*). He
    > grabs Sandy by the arm

    However, _here_ I could see her freaking out and pointing the gun at this guy. She's still full of adrenaline, she just dealt with a life-and-death situation, now this guy just got up and that means that maybe she shot an innocent man and what the heck happened here and _don't you dare touch me_!

    > and urges her saying, "We have to leave!
    > Get up! Hurry!" (I personally see her trying to get away from
    > him. After all, he's a stranger.)

    I think "stranger" is the least of it.

    > He says this: "Either stay here
    > and die, or come with me and possibly live." Note: I see Sandy at
    > first trying to escape from his grasp, screaming, "Let go of me!
    > Don't touch me!"

    Nah. Gun. Pointed at his heart. :) That's how I see this.

    > When he says the last part, I think she should
    > still struggle to get away from him. What do you think? BTW, the
    > gun was dropped. If she falls down in shock, the gun is dropped
    > at her side, and when the man takes her by the arm, she's pulled
    > father away from it. So it's not within reach.

    I think that dropping the gun is just too implausible. If for plot reasons you need her to lose the use of the gun, then she needs to run out of bullets, it jams, something else. And even then I think she's going to try to club him with it when he tries to grab her.

    > 3) Sandy is dragged by the man into the swamplands(it's the
    > country) where, I think, she should continue to struggle.

    Either this guy all but knocks her out and drags her there, or there's some other reason why she goes to the swamplands. I just don't see her doing the helpless girly shrieking as she's dragged for distances. Now, if _he's_ got a gun, yeah, he can probably order her ahead of him.

    > She's
    > taken to a campground where there are other people. When she
    > recognizes one as a good friend, I think the man should let go of
    > her and let her run to the friend. Note: I don't think she can
    > really be calm until the friend sort of "introduces" her to the
    > man. It would be more like, "Sandy, it's okay. I know him."

    Even here, she's seen some serious crazy and isn't likely to just shrug and let it go. She might calm enough for a discussion, but she's not going to settle down to tea and crumpets.

    ChickenFreak
     
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  3. The Blood Countess
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    The Blood Countess Member

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    Thank you for the help. Now I see the inconsistencies here. XD
     
  4. digitig
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    digitig Contributing Member Contributor

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    I agree with all of this except for one thing. We're told that she's a daydreamer. That's not easy to reconcile with a tomboy who knows how to handle a gun and helps around the ranch, and I think makes her reactions harder to anticipate. She might well react like that, but she might not, she's a tough one to call.
     
  5. The Blood Countess
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    The Blood Countess Member

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    Her personality is a mixture of my cousin's and my own. We're very tough cookies and have a tendency to use our spare time zoning out into the Wonderland. I can see how it looks a little contradictory. I figured that sitting out on the porch all day polishing a rifle was a little stereotypical for a country person. :p Soooo, I gave her an imagination. LOL
     
  6. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    Not really relevant but I read the subject line as "How should Hermione react in this situation".
     
  7. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Your character. You define her by how YOU decide she reacts to different situations she is confronted by. She is NOT defined by a collection of nouns and adjectives.
     
  8. Ali
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    Ali Member

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    Hi, I only read your original post and haven't looked at the responses but my opinion is that your character wouldn't collapse to the ground nor would she struggle. She would be in a state of extreme shock and she would have to be carried off with maybe a reflex show of resistance for a second or two. I can imagine her in complete silence or maybe maybe even tears. By your own admission she can seem to be emotionless which I usually equate to a desire for control and detachment from the world...by the act of killing she is now exactly where she never wanted to be....that is, firmly involved in the lives of other through HER OWN ACT....deciding her destiny has always been too much for her and now by a momentous act she is in the thick of things...her universe has shifted. I only see her acting in shock. What I don't understand is why the guy wants to take her away
    Rgds
    Alex
     
  9. Tesoro
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    Tesoro Contributing Member Contributor

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    This! The way she reacts to stuff that happens should reflect your vision of this character.
     
  10. The Blood Countess
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    The Blood Countess Member

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    But that's the problem. Seeing as I'm detached, I really don't know how to react(or how to have others react) that corresponds with their character. :(
     
  11. Tesoro
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    Tesoro Contributing Member Contributor

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    In that case I think you need to get to know your character better. Every thing she does have to be true to her personality. Defining a character by their actions is a much better way than using - as Cogito said - nouns and adjectives.
     
  12. Langadune
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    Langadune Member

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    I agree with Cogito. You have created this character, you can validate her reactions. The situations you've posed seem plausible as long as you present them well. That's your job as the writer, you don't have to write according to what I think would work best, you need to write it well enough that I read it and say "Yep, I buy that."

    As far as tomboy/daydreamer. Nothing wrong there. Just means she's not a stereotypical dreamy girl or a stereotypical tomboy.
     
  13. P R Crawford
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    P R Crawford Member

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    I think your instincts are fine - what you pictured sounds fine. Unless she's used to shooting people (which I doubt), she's likely to be shocked when she realizes the enormity of what she did. And she may well become passive and let herself be led along. After all, her last bit of proactivity left a person dead.

    Perhaps the guy who got knifed could be holding his "wounds", covering them with his hands. The blood is probably still on his clothes, so she doesn't really know that he's healed - he can walk well - that's strange - but maybe he's just strong - you say he's big, after all.

    And maybe he limps along, pretending to be still hurt, until they arrive at the campground, where she notices him suddenly stop limping.......

    Lots of ways to handle this.

    HTH
     

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