People project. If their characters have a certain trait, you can bet the author has it, too. Ever hear a person ask for your help with the opening phrase, "Well, I have this friend..." If the OP author knew the answer to the question in her personal life, then the male lead wouldn't have a problem, she would fix it for him.
Turn the question back on them; 'What do you think about ...?' 'What do you think about it?' 'What's the pay like in your job?' 'What's the pay like in your job?' They'll get the message! Another approach is to shock them - tell them what their bad-mind is thinking. 'That's a very expensive looking watch; you must have a good job' 'Yes. I'm a shoplifter!' 'Is that your husband?' 'No, he's my best friends husband. We're just having the week-end together - she doesn't understand him.'
This I think is the best suggestion so far. This will give a temporary conflict to their relationship (a relationship test of some sort) which should be resolved when Mad finally finds the courage to tell her the truth, and then they are closer than ever.
Thanks for all the great responses. This has been super helpful. I love the idea that you gave about being pushed so far that your temper gets the best of you, and you reveal the answer out of sheer frustration. That very well may be how she finds out. Your response would be most like Mad’s personality. Better to be political about it than a baby. lol ~ Now I’m going back over my life trying to find this issue in it. Haven’t found it yet but I’ll keep looking. I can’t stop laughing at your shock them approach. Love, love love it.
I had a birthday recently, and my sister came to the party and asked me how I am feeling about my dog suddenly dying only a month ago. I didn't want to talk about it but obviously, felt no antagonism for my sister;s caring enquiry. Instead of giving a full answer, I made a sad face and said "You know... (sigh) " and then I joined another conversation whilst giving the signal with my eyes, to my sister, that I am ok and that I'd prefer to talk about happy things. She followed suit, but remained a bit sad all afternoon. But there was no discomfort between us, and all was understood with just a few words.
That's a side benefit of writing. If you and I had to face our demons head-on everyday lots of people would be crazier than I am. However, infusing those problems into a mythical character gives us enough distance and perspective to dispassionately view the issue. It's a good catharsis. At least 20% of one of my characters is based on a real person I knew--thirty years ago. Just that simple fact has brought my writing to a standstill for almost three weeks. Back to your concerns. Maybe the best advice is to ask yourself two questions. The first is to ask, "What would I do?" Then ask yourself, "What should I do?" When both answers are the same, I think your problem will resolve itself.
If someone asks me in a tentative manner, I just smile and say, "Some other time." If they get persistent (or are demanding from the gitgo) a long cold stare followed by an obvious switch in topic typically ends the matter - permanently.