1. Ripkord
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    Ripkord Member

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    How to avoid saying me, or I so much in 1st person

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Ripkord, Jan 20, 2016.

    Like the title says, one of the only obsticles im concerned about, if I do first person.

    How would the MC narrate himself? This is the point of view I want to use in this project I will do.

    Thanks in advance
     
  2. Tenderiser
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    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Contributor

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    The reader knows who's speaking, so you don't need to remind them by using 'I' and 'me' except where necessary for clarity or during an action.

    Version 1: I saw Mike smirking at me. I wondered what his problem was and why he was being such a jerk to me.

    Version 2: Mike smirked at me. What the hell was his problem? Jerk.
     
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  3. peachalulu
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    peachalulu Contributing Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Agree with Tenderizer. One trick is to stop addressing the mc - the reader already knows it's him/her's thoughts opinions and observations. It's like when you walk into a library you don't say to yourself - I see a lot of books. You think - Man, look at all those books.

    Be the character as you write instead of backing away and watching the character it drops the need to filter.
     
  4. Rob Rowntree
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    Rob Rowntree Member

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    Agree with the two previous posts. Write your piece and then go through it (you will be doing that anyway) and look at your sentence structure. Where you've used 'I' and 'me' see how you can restructure. You'll be surprised how things turn out. You don't have to remove every instance but try and ensure they don't stand out. Beta readers and crit buddies can help with this.
     
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  5. Link the Writer
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    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    I always keep forgetting to do this. :p In first-person, you're not narrating the movements of the protagonist, you are the protagonist. As such, you wouldn't keep referring to yourself as 'I' or 'me'.

    Not Correct
    I went to the library. There, I saw a lot of books and was amazed. So much I could read!

    Correct
    I went to the library. Holy crap, look at all the books! So much stuff to read!
     
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  6. TheoremAlpha
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    TheoremAlpha Member

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    Example of how I'd do it, since I just smoked a cigarette:
    "I never really understood why it was that I took up smoking. An excuse to perhaps sit in the cold air, and clear ones mind a bit. But the toxins seep into my veins, slowly knocking off bits of my life that perhaps otherwise could have been spent with grand children, great grand children maybe if so lucky was I. As it stands however, I question whether that will ever be the case, hopelessly addicted to this poison that I can never drive myself away from. Then again, the ashy, almost nutty taste pleases me. The stimulant clears the mind, sharpens the vision, relaxes the muscles and in this moment of solitude... I am at peace,"

    I find that you don't have to really describe the characters actions and movements much. You do have to a little bit, obviously. But think about how you talk to yourself, how you pour over information in your mind and how it jumps from topic to topic. You are in the drivers seat, and thus emotions and tangents should be prioritized with emphasis on description of the world, rather than the actual actions of the character.
     

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