How to explain violence is wrong to a child?

This is a lack of parenting. Parent's shouldn't allow their children to have access to social media under the age of 15, and should still monitor their activities until their out of school. Maybe I'm spoiled, my mom was a hard ass - checked every friends drivers license who came to the house, called every parent whose house I spent the night at until I was 17! I hated it, and I hated her. But, we've been best friends for the last 10 years and I couldn't be more proud of how hard she fought.

Too many parents in this country seek to extend the "childhood" they never had, for their children and as such we end up with people in their twenties with an emotional intelligence of 12. Children need to be guided, supported and loved by the people who matter most - not blindly protected from life. The problem is parents don't guide support or love, they vote to have Washington do it, because they themselves are actually trying to continue their childhood - seeking approval at work, trolling for women at bars, or drinking themselves into a stupor.

If aggressive behavior is unacceptable, we sure need to stop celebrating the 4th of July, Presidents day, Memorial Day, Veterans Day, and sure need to stop watching sports with any contact in them. We should alter testosterone so it doesn't make males aggressive by nature, and we should remove the limbic system. Violence is the ultimate authority, martyrdom and passive resistance only win battles in a much larger war.

 

I think it's naive that you can keep children away from social media until 15. It's just not going to happen. And 15 seems like an arbitrary number. My point is, if kids don't tell their parents then how are they going to know? Are you going to spy on your kids facebook page? Read their e-mails? There has to be a level of privacy. If you patrol your kid, the way you were, that can turn out just as bad. They end up rebelling more because of it. It's like drinking. I'm Canadian and I think it's ridiculous that the US drinking age is 21. Meanwhile Europe has a drinking age between 16-18 and it's not very strictly moderated. If something's taboo, kids are just going to sneak around.

Again, I'm Canadian so we don't celebrate any of those holidays so it's a moot point in my opinion. There is a massive difference between aggression in sports and aggression towards another individual. Additionally, not all men are aggressive by nature, I think that is a way men are stereotyped. In terms of aggression and bullying, girls are much worse than boys. Boys may get into physical fights, but girls attack each other emotionally (which in my mind is much worse).

 

We can look at several standpoints on this issue. If a parent sees it from the child's perspective, then it will be his/her instinct to shower him with gifts and things he wants so that he behaves. This is however not a very efficient method because the child will most likely grow unsatisfied with everything and despise his parents for it. Then you can take the way of physical violence and just beat them up until they learn to behave which will eventually end in (surprise, surprise) them hating you and grow to despise you even worse than the child perspective method, resulting in them refusing to even talk to you for the rest of their lives. These 2 methods can have their good sides but it is often found that in these methods that the majority of them turn badly and the child does not respect you for doing such things. But, and this is just my opinion, I think the best way (at least for normal kids who aren't prone to violence because it feels good) is to use a more philosophical method. Just start of the conversation and continue it with questions. Why does the child bully others, what does he think it will accomplish, is it because of something that troubles him/her in his/her personal life, etc. These things open the mind of children and make them think a little, this is not only beneficial for the present to stop the child from bullying, but also for the future because it will raise a child to think before he does, and to think it well.

 

Many US states have different ages, as do many European countries. It might seem like nit-picking, but these minor details and generalizations really don't get along with me.

 

Well, my parents believed in spare the rod, spoil the child. I feared the punishment but never them. Never. I knew when I screwed up and I knew, based on the severity of the screw-up, what my punishment would be. Now, with my son I didn't have to spank that often - I think I can still remember each time, it was so rare. But he was of an entirely different temperament than I was. At any rate, we both turned out just dandy, thank you very much.

ETA: My folks knew where I was, who I was with, when I was supposed to be home - and God help me if any of those things got screwed up. I was the same way with my son. Parents can or can't do whatever they choose to in those terms. The problem is, they don't start early enough letting the kids know who's boss. Then when the kid gets out of control, they wring their hands and say "I can't do anything with him/her!"

But I suppose this is just too old fashioned...

 

I would be surprised if that is true. The federal government put pressure on states to all set the minimum drinking age to 21 by making it a condition for federal highway assistance programs.

 

I was wrong to say 'many states', only in Louisiana is it under 21. It's 18 there. And in some states there are different rules, such as in Wisconsin it's legal for an under 21 to drink if there are guardians present. That's what Wikipedia tells me anyway.

 

Have a plant, a kid that he starts a fight then have the kid kick his ass. I know this tamed one bully in my school, and I never go bothered again. Granted the public nature of it (the Cafeteria at lunch) and the style (I was told it looked like I was an Asian martial artist) made it all the more notable.
The reality is sometimes aggression is needed. Something we need to learn in life is when it is and is not appropriate. Now how to teach this, well it’s the parent’s job, and the reality of consequences. Unfortunately this kids parents sound like another of those dead weight dopes that think it’s the schools responsibility to raise their kids.
What you don’t celebrate Remembrance day MissRis?

 

Some people I know don't, and consider it immoral to celebrate it.

 

Why exactly, do they think it’s immoral?

 

They passionately dislike the idea of war, and the idea of soldiery. I think they are wrong, personally, but ... you can't change passionately held beliefs.

 

yeah, somepeople, you just can figure out how their thought process works

 

Which could also be said to them.

 

I wear my poppy in remembrance of veterans and I respect people who fight for our nations. Do I believe war is the best possible solution to many of our problems? No. But I would never insult someone who fights on behalf of me and my family. Veterans and soldiers are wonderfully brave people. Do not twist my words.

I still do not see the validity in equating war and bullying -- this is comparing apples and oranges. We (parents, teachers, etc.) have the ability to stop bullying in schools and ensuring all students, no matter their gender, race, or sexual orientation (etc.) can be safe within our school systems. War on the other hand is an unfortunate circumstance that shouldn't happen, but I don't know a way to stop it or change the way governing bodies dispute things.

Sorry for the generalization on the US, but I said the drinking age in most European countries ranges between 16-18. The EU country with a drinking age higher than 18 is Iceland where it is 20.

 

We often do. Among my friends here at university we debate such things.

And to spring this back in the direction of the original conversation, I think we should talk to children about violence, explain to them why we might consider it abhorrent.

 

Just pointing out a similar Canadian holiday to Veterans Day, to point out it may not be moot point in the way you suggested in response to C.B Harrington. Also as you will note form my post it connects to my comment about one thing you learn growing up is that there is a proper and improper time for use of force.

So don’t go around accusing me of things, its pretty petty.

 

This is turning personal. Clearly it has run its course as a productive topic.