Reading my material especially the alleged novel that I am trying to work on right now would be like tasting some whisked eggs and say that it is a bad cake. Not only is this particular story an incomplete work in progress but so am I. I realise that all writers are constant learners, this is a craft that is impossible to master. However I am up against some unique challenges, I am both dyslexic and dyspraxic and I am trying to write in my second language. I have had this story in my head since I was fifteen and all I really want to is to get this story on paper. I don't want to be a writer for the sake of being a writer, I write to write this story. That's not to say that I don't want to be a writer or don't enjoy the art. I spent all of my childhood stuck in my own head and in daydreams. I used to make up stories and tell my friends and grandmother. I think I have always been a writer, well until my teachers took out that red pen and berated my handwriting... My story is a high fantasy with really complex world building. I am starting to realise that attempting it is like running a marathon when you haven't left the sofa for a year. I have been dabbling, I have decided to let go my childhood insecurities when it comes to writing and do something about it. I have written a little but it's not good. Not only is the grammar lacking but the sentence structure is odd and too long, the POV is not working, too much internal dialogue that feels forced. To be honest I haven't even started to analyse the dialogue. In a way I don't mind because like I said I am an absolute beginner and I wasn't expecting JR Tolkien level writing on my first try (if ever). I know that this is the baseline from where I want improve upon. It isn't the finished product therefore I am happy with it in a way. However I had started out with the goal this year to write nearly everyday, whether it be good or bad, I need to write in order to learn to write. But I am hitting constant roadblocks because the project that I chose is so massive. I feel like I am trying to write a symphony when I can barely read notes. I have a full time job too and I just feel discouraged and overwhelmed. Maybe I should put my big project on the shelf for a little while and focus on just being a writer and not the writer of this story. Maybe do smaller projects like short stories to improve my technique get familiar with the idea of writing creatively (rather than academically). Or should I stick with the inspiration that makes me want to be a writer in the first place?