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  1. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    How to Persuade a Zombie to Go Away

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by J.P.Clyde, Jul 28, 2011.

    This is a bit of a random though on my part. And I am not sure if I am even allowed to write this here. If I am, well then woot for me. If I am not, then well I guess this thread will die.

    I realized something in all zombie apocalyptic they do not have very good ways of persuading the zombies to go away.

    My handy solution. Meat traps. Set up a friend or two on a pole and run away. But of course. Your friend will be protected from the grass hole you have just now created to get the zombies buried into the ground.
     
  2. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Dying, of course.
     
  3. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    Just because the mastery of my visions doesn't inspire you, doesn't mean it can't work.

    On a side not, Hashbrown traps work to get ghost away.
     
  4. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    Hashbrowns are also a good trap for me; I'd throw myself through walls if I had to to get some.

    But zombies? If my years as a patron of the bar scene has taught me anything, it has taught me you can't get rid of a zombie forever. Telling them Eastenders is on might get them to go away for a while, but you'll never escape them.
     
  5. Mr Mr
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    Mr Mr Active Member

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    You could try talking to the zombie over lunch or a nice cup of tea :p

    It depends on your zombie and how smart they are. If they are the average "brainssss" that just try to eat anything, then nothing realy as they can't learn that theres danger. On the other hand if they like the ones from Land of the Dead who can learn (they figure out how to use guns etc) then mabye they would realise that theres danger.
     
  6. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    I already have one set up. Lunch and tea that is. Being a ghost, means I don't have the awkward dealing of being eaten.
     
  7. MRD
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    MRD Senior Member

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    I'd have thought that the easiest way to stop a hungry zombie from munching on your arm would be to just give them a ham sandwich.

    That, or just pretend to be a zombie as well. Those undead abominations don't look like the brightest bunch around...
     
  8. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    Looks like we'll have to ration the ham.

    Not the ones who have braaainnsss and can think and stuff.
     
  9. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    A zombie who can think?
     
  10. Pludovick
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    Pludovick Member

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    Get a small, zombie-proof vehicle with a stereo and put Thriller on repeat. Put a brick on the accelerator and watch the zombie horde dance off behind it into the apocalyptic sunset.
     
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  11. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    Best story idea ever.

    DDZ [Dance Dance Zombies]
     
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  12. Lemex
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    Lemex That's Lord Lemex to you. Contributor

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    ^ lol Dance Dance Zombies. That's funny. I'm giving you rep.
     
  13. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    Thank you Lemex. I'm glad you appreciate the humor.
     
  14. keeksta
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    keeksta Member

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    I would say dig a moat because something tells me zombies aren't good swimmers.
     
  15. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    -Severed arm on a fish line (Hehe, Zombie fishing) ;P
    -Lead them into a slaughter house and then GTHO.
    -Simply say "GO. AWAY!" Then take a dramatic leave.
    -Throw in the Twilight Boy. :p
    -Stick them on a treadmill, turn it on, put a giant bloody steak distant from the treadmill, then GTFO.

    Hehe, this is how I would do it. :p
     
  16. keeksta
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    keeksta Member

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    I've got to say that Zombie fishing idea sounds really good. :D
    Also has any one thought about keeping one as a pet, to keep the others a way.
     
  17. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    I keep mine with a strong harness and leash. With side blinders to keep him focused at hand and a muzzle just to keep the accidental bites to a minimal.
     
  18. mugen shiyo
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    mugen shiyo Contributing Member

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    Lots of body wash.
     
  19. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Carry around a bucket of voracious maggots.
     
  20. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    They can go into living people's skin too. You realize that is frightening?
     
  21. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    But they will go through decaying flesh like corn through a goose.
     
  22. J.P.Clyde
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    J.P.Clyde Prince of Melancholy Contributor

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    While simultaneously and quite possibly killing the remaining survivors.
     
  23. keeksta
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    keeksta Member

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    I have to admit, I don't really like the idea of carrying a bucket of maggots.
     
  24. aimi_aiko
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    aimi_aiko Contributing Member

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    Gross.
     
  25. Daydream
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    Daydream Contributing Member Contributor

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    Maybe go zombie on them and start trying to them!?
     

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