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  1. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    how would you dicipline your child

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by lessa, May 28, 2008.

    1 smack on the butt.
    2 time outs
    3 sit down and talk it over
    4 ignore the bad behaviour
    5 wait till your father comes home.
    6 none of the above (what then)

    just curious since we had the thread about smacking a child.
    I used a combination of 1 and 3.
    I rarely had to smack a bottom once they got to the age of 2.
    But I would tell them that I loved them always but at the point
    in time I did not like them much and I would explain why.
    You will have to ask Dom if this was a good approach.
     
  2. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    I plan on employing 1 - 3 with my son. 4, in my humble opinion, rarely works.
     
  3. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Well, I'm a fellah' who's partner is a fallah', so no kids, but....

    I was raised pretty old-school. Nothing violent or mentaly scarring! I think a spank on the rear is not a big deal at all. There's a whole generation of kids with ADHD who happen to fall right into the age bracket of the 'hands-off, time-out' parents. Gotta' wonder if there's a conection....
     
  4. NaCl
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    NaCl Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd send him or her to your house and tell the kid that if he/she ever wants to come home there would have to be a radical change in behavior! If that doesn't work, you keep the kid! LOL
     
  5. penhobby
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    penhobby Contributing Member

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    Check out this book Magic 1+2+3 I have three boys ages 6, 8 and 10.
    The 6 year old, and the 10 year old have Autism and the 8 year old has ADD and Macular Dystrophy (legaly blind). Anyway, my husband and I have major disiplin problems at times so we started using this method. You wouldn't believe how effective it is, not just in private, but also in public as well.
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I have mostly used 3, then 2, with 1 only as needed (rarely). Mine are now full grown, so I mostly now must settle for 4, although I'll try 3 if they will listen.

    At their current ages, if they haven't learned it yet, they will pretty much have to discover it on their own. But I'm generally proud of how they turned out.

    A wise man learns from his mistakes.
    A wiser man learns from the mistakes of others.
     
  7. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    now, would use only 2, 3, and other non-violent means... see my post in the 'smack' thread for why...
     
  8. Raven
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    Raven Banned

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    I take my kids games consols of them and remove the fuse from the TV and Hi fi plugs.

    That way they behave. And no need to smack. I rather enjoy removing the fuse because they know they've pushed me. And I really do get delight knowing that. They lose the fise and consoles for 2 - 5 days depending on what they've done. if really bad then 2 weeks. Its also rather effective too. :D
     
  9. shadow tiger x
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    shadow tiger x Contributing Member

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    I do 1&2 at the moment as my son is only 16 months and doesn't understand you when you talk but he is getting there, He understands that he gets a smack when he does the wrong thing and yes he will push it but i give him warnings first. My son is a bright kid and does understand NO but as all kids do they push to see how far your limit you will go
    that is why he does get warnings first......
     
  10. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Actually toddlers understand more than you think, it just depends on how you demonstrate that to them...if you show a child a flame and allow the child to feel the heat, in a safe manner, tell the child that it will burn as the heat appears near the hand, the child learns that fire burns....I didn't describe that well, but you get the idea.

    I use 2 & 3. It is far more effective. Taking things away, like toys, etc, works well too.
     
  11. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer. Some children will continue to push to see what they can get away with, others accept the limits more readily.

    I think I will let these threads continue a lottle bit longer, if possible, but the heat level is definitely rising to an unacceptable level.
     
  12. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    I completely agree with this...Children are so different and complex that I don't think anyone can say that any one way will work for every child. Parenting styles also vary greatly, and there is definitely not one right way to raise a child.

    My baby is just a baby right now, but when she gets older I would like to use the "sit down and explain" method. If that doesn't work, time outs, and as a last resort, spanking.

    I also think that with younger children, removing them from a bad situation and putting them in a better situation works wonders. For example, if my girl was playing with a group of toddlers and started hitting and/or biting, I would get down on her level and explain to her that "Teeth and used for eating, not biting." and that "Biting hurts." Then I'd physically remove her from the area to play by herself for awhile.
     
  13. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    Libby I couldn't agree with you more on this! Especially the last bit, about taking children away from a bad situation.
     
  14. shadow tiger x
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    shadow tiger x Contributing Member

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    Yes I do agree also with you there Libby but there is 1 problem with my son doing such a thing he is normaly the 1 that gets hurt by someone biting him and pulling what little hair he has, he mostly sits on my lap when he is around this 1 girl that is a bully and she is only 2 months older than my son and makes him scream everytime they are anywhere around each other, it's hard not to laugh but it's funny but not as we have to keep her away from him as much as possible, my son is so scared of this little girl....
     
  15. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    I'd honestly keep them away. I think there's a huge developmental leap between 12 months and 14-15 months...I used to work in the toddler (12-24 months) room at a daycare and there was such a huge difference in the littler ones.

    I see nothing wrong with allowing your son to sit in your lap if he is bothered by the child or not allowing them to play together. Social skills in toddlers aren't truly developed yet - he probably needs some more time to grow and develop before being expected to play with another child who bothers him.
     
  16. shadow tiger x
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    shadow tiger x Contributing Member

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    I can't really keep them away from eachother as they are cousins and see a lot of eachother so that is a bit hard so he just sits in my lap while she is around. This little girl does what she likes never had dicipline in anyway never gets told no or nothing
     
  17. LibbyAnn
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    LibbyAnn Contributing Member

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    That's the problem right there, then. Children need discipline...I don't think that's something that can be debated! Unfortunately for you and your son, the discipline of the little girl is out of your control :(
     
  18. shadow tiger x
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    shadow tiger x Contributing Member

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    Yeah i know but i was just saying that she has never been told right from wrong so she doesn't know that biting is naughty and that it hurts people....
     
  19. ValianceInEnd
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    ValianceInEnd Active Member

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    Well, you forget to mention how serious an offense this is. Regular mistakes should have disciplinary talks and lectures with a few threats for if they really mess up. If they really mess up, then you oughtta get real stern with them, if ya know what I mean...
     
  20. pip
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    pip Member

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    I find it difficult to reason where most people would think it wrong to hit, smack a stranger then how does one justify hitting, smacking someone they love.
     
  21. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Ok, I think everyone has had a chance to weigh in on this, and there are two basic positions with no possibility of a middle ground. I'm going to close this before passions become grudges.
     
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