1. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    How's it going WF!?

    Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Tate, Oct 5, 2016.

    Well, somehow my passive-writing-desire had triggered at 2AM, and now here I am!

    I'm 19-years-old and I've been writing since I was in 7th grade back and forth. The interesting thing is that it was all typed in Korean which is a totally different language! Yeah, I am originally from South Korea and I moved to America in the middle of 8th grade. And surprisingly, I still wrote this fantasy novel called "Companies" on and off even though I was in like a 6,947 miles away from my own country! Guess I really liked writing stuffs, huh? Well, "Companies", this is my first-dedicated and most-loved novel. It's about this 13-year-old girl named Becca. She is called as "Becca the Fire" or "The Fire Witch". Yes! You might guessed by her nickname, her magic ability is the fire. Becca has a 2.5 million bounties from two unknown arson cases in the city called "Ghost Blue". That large sum of bounties are directly from the 'city government' of Ghost Blue : The Trinity. The city government soon initiate the secret action called 'The Fire Witch Hunt'. While Becca facing with The Trinity, some tragedy happens, and those unfortunate events have left her deep scars. 5 years later, she accidentally meets "Jeremy the Rainstorm" which is a guy from so-called "The most powerful magician company" . Becca and Jeremy somehow dragged into a fight with "The New Trinity" and this unexpected fight would be the starting point of Becca joining the company called "Carpe Diem".


    I've written Chapter 1-1 to 1-21! And now I'm currently working on translating them in English :)

    Hopefully someone would be interested in "Companies"! It's really a great novel. Nothing like published, professional or anything, but it is definitely interesting!

    Anyway, good night guys. Feel free to comment down below!
     
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2016
  2. Shadowfax
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    Shadowfax Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi @Tate

    You say you're currently translating your novel from Korean into English. Kudos for that; while I speak a few languages other than English, I know that to write in one of them would be beyond me.

    However, can I suggest that you start by mastering English before embarking on this translation? I've gone through your post and pointed out some of the grammatical errors that you've made (and I've been pretty picky); translate your novel at this level and you'll end up with something unreadable, no matter how good the novel itself is.

     
  3. big soft moose
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    big soft moose Active Member

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    In addition to what shadowfax said be aware that some things don't transliterate well - for example its very unlikely that a company would call its self "the most powerful magician" company

    Its not clear whether you mean company as in a company that does business (like say General Electric) or a company of troops (or in this case i guess, magicians) , however either way they'd have found a more catchy name , like "Wizard, Magi, Sorcerer , or something like that"

    Likewise "Jeremy the rainstorm" is an odd by name to have in English , he'd probably have a catchy nom de gurre like "storm" or "storm rider" or something and wouldnt mention his christian name when giving it

    also the chances of becca being known as 'becca the fire' are negligible - she'd just be known as 'the fire' or 'the burning one' or something suitably menacing
     
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  4. KaTrian
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    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Welcome to WF!

    Your story sounds like fun. I'm sure you had a great time writing it and I hope one day other people will find it as well. :)

    Here's our New Member Quick Start to get you started. See you around!

    -Kat
     
  5. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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  6. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    ,
     
  7. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    First of all, thank you for correcting my apparently-horrible-grammars!

    I've got some questions for you :

    1) The Trinity is the city government of Ghost Blue. So how can it be a 'random noun'? I capitalized it to empathize.

    2) About Deus Ex Machina, The meeting between Becca and Jeremy is nothing like "Suddenly problems gets resolved and everybody lives happily ever after". I'm kind of surprised that you assumed all that from just one word 'accidentally'. And there are quite a few events that 'throwing in an accident to make it harder for the MC' in writing already.

    3) The reason why I used apparently-overused-interjections is that I was just trying to introduce myself, not trying to impress my writing to publishers or anything. I just never thought of someone would criticize my grammars (I get this) or even criticize the way of how I write on the 'New Member Introducing' section.

    I guess I should've introduced 'myself', not introduced my 'writing' on here.
     
  8. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    Thank you!
     
  9. big soft moose
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    big soft moose Active Member

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    You mean emphasise I think ( I mention that to be helpful not to have a go, English is difficult and I can't speak Korean at all so kudos for writing in a non native language)

    emphasise is to give emphasis to - to make more important or louder

    empathize is to have empathy with - to understand how someone feels

    If the Trinity is a proper name - ie the name of the government then you'd capitalise trinity, but not the 'the' like if you wrote the Congress, or the Senate
     
  10. Spencer1990
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    Spencer1990 Contributing Member

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    I think it's nice that you guys are trying to help this guy and his grammar, but do you really think unsolicited grammar advice and line by line corrections are appropriate for an introduction thread?

    If I got welcomed this way, I'd be immediately turned away from further participation.

    If @Tate want's help, he'll ask. Otherwise, it's rather rude to continuously critique his grammar even after he made a slightly affected comment about it.
     
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  11. matwoolf
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    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

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    This 'mastering English' business is not right, and also kind of incorrect. Blame it on 'wrong side of bed/morning syndrome,' I think so.

    @Tate writes with great energy, a real sparkly intellect on display.
     
  12. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    1) Company as in "the person or group of people whose society someone is currently sharing" such as 'guild' or 'clan'. Does that make sense to you?

    2) I didn't really want to use "magician, wizard, magi, or sorcerer" in front of the word 'company', because personally, I think it's kind of cliche.

    3) Thanks for knowing me that 'rainstorm' is related to Christian stuff. I had no idea. I guess I'll go for 'Jeremy the Rain Storm'.

    4) How about 'Becca the Flame' ? Because I really want to make this 'the ~' thing. Or is it like you said, 'negligible'? If so, why's that?
     
  13. matwoolf
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    matwoolf Contributing Member Contributor

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    [​IMG]
     
  14. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    I meant emphasize. Thanks for correcting. It was simply a typo. I know the differences between those two.
     
  15. Tate
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    Tate New Member

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    Haha. I'm actually fine with correcting my grammars. And thanks for the complement. That means a lot :)

    Frankly, it wasn't the best moment. But you know what? I changed my mind in a positive way. They spent their time just for me, whether it's unsolicited grammar advice or line by line corrections, I find it as some sort of thankful attention. I'd rather let someone comment whatever I write than just passing by, either it's good or bad. But the thing is, if anyone's plan to critique on my writing, I really hope that it'd at least be understandable. Anyone surely can critique, but it's really hard to find the 'real critiques'. Like a critique that I won't even have to object. I want to respond to critiques with saying "Thank you so much! That helped me a lot." or "That makes totally sense! I'll go fix it." instead of saying "Well, first of all~" or being slightly sarcastic.
     

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