Just got back from the best wedding ever, my nephew’s, the kid who would never follow his father into service did just that. And there we were, four brother-in-laws together again, drinking, and being loud and reminiscing about the good old days while the bride’s family and friends watched with their teeth dropped. What can I say…We’re a bunch of common bastards. John Michael had 5 grooms-men and all in dress blues as was his father who is a retired general officer but none of his friends knew his dad was a general until the wedding. He didn’t want to be known as the guy whose father is a big shot. As a soldier, my brother-in-law was an impressive leader, a hell raising beer drinking warrior who men loved to follow. On the other hand, he’s a woman-chasing piece of shit husband to my sister and he’s sweating like a whore in church. But he always sweats like a stuck pig if the temperature is over 70 and it was hot in Houston. Sweat literally poured off him during dinner and the table cloth served as a sweat towel. The preacher was a flim-flam dude and it wasn’t a good idea to have him placed with us for dinner. He dropped names of all the Hollywood drug-sluts he has saved or at least got them to give him money. But Houston is home and unlike all that oil deep underground that requires drilling, all those souls that need saving are right there on the surface. Can I get an amen Brother Ben! Needless to say, all the wives were mad with our behavior but got over it on the flight to Seattle for a family reunion further north. It was a bouncy barf ride where flight attendants only got up to clean vomit out of the isles. And to make it worse, farters sat in front of us and made poot-sniffers out of us for much of the flight. Flying really sucks but it got us out of the dog house. It’s human nature to remember the most disgusting, not our behavior that was now a distant second. The Lord certainly works in mysterious ways. Before his wedding, John Michael wound up filling the shoes of a major since most of the regiment was already in Afghanistan. Here’s a kid just out of Officer School, who doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground but like his dad said, “Situation normal, all screwed up.” Soon he’s in the worst part of Afghanistan for a short stay since he had been attached to this regiment. He’s in a bunker when a sergeant came in and told him to get the hell out of his chair. He did and less than a minute later a Rocket hits the bunker. Liquid metal went through the sergeant and killed him and as the room exploded, a crazy thought went through John Michael’s mind, “Hope my eyebrows aren't burn off. I’ll look funny getting married without eyebrows.” But they weren’t burnt off, only a concussion, first degree burns and a few stitches. Said his ears rang for a couple of days, pretty damn lucky. Soon, he’ll be headed back to Afghanistan with another regiment. They'll be the last ones out and the enemy will look at them like alcoholics responding to last call at a bar. Meanwhile the new bride asked, “Do you get paid more being over there?” Beer and family, kids and weddings, life's just so damn sad and so damn funny. Really good to be here...Amen.
