1. Nightstar99
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    Nightstar99 Contributing Member

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    I am badly in need of moral support

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Nightstar99, Jun 21, 2016.

    Bring it.
     
  2. Lea`Brooks
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    Lea`Brooks Contributing Member Contributor

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    If you want moral support, you should probably specify what the problem is. I'm not going to give you advice on getting past writer's block if you want advice on expanding your vocabulary.

    What's the problem and what do you want us to do for you?
     
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  3. A lake.
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    A lake. Member

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    I got your back....
     
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  4. Nightstar99
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    Nightstar99 Contributing Member

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    So, basically my personal life is in complete turmoil, which is partly my fault. OK entirely my fault. But the long and short is that at age 40 I have no idea what the future will bring, my career has stalled, I have family members to worry about too.

    I have one book that I started 7 years ago which is 70% finished.

    I paused doing that one last year to do a short story which turned into a 45,000 word novella, which led on to another 45,000 word novella, which has led on to a third and final novella. All 3 together would be an (over long) novel.

    All I want to do is write, I am consumed by wanting to finish this stupid book. I have let so many things get in the way of writing in the past.

    I also feel totally trapped and mid life crisis-y. Trapped by my own decisions and by my limitations, situational, financial, and emotional. Everywhere I look I just see walls and myself letting down people who love me, collateral damage of my own selfishness.

    Writing seems like a way out of that, I suppose. At least when I am writing no matter how bad I am at being a husband and a father, I am transported into doing something I am good at, and now I can actually see myself finishing something. Something which is better than I am.

    I just feel like when I finish this maybe "something" will happen, either externally or in myself. My wife, who deserves far better than I have given her, doesn't want me sitting alone in the bedroom every evening writing when our marriage is in crisis.

    Its a mess. I am not sure if writing is helping or not. If I could inhabit the real world more than a fantasy world inside my head more, maybe I wouldn't be in this predicament.
     
  5. CrusherBrooks
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    CrusherBrooks Member Supporter

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    Well Nightstar99, I may not have your experience in life, but I have a little bit.
    It seems that conflicting interests are taking their toll on your marriage, your mental state and your life in general. You say you are not good at being a husband and father... Well nobody is perfect, but everyone can do their best to improve, little by little. From your description I don't think writing is helping you, the wife (explicitly?) mentioned this, and you mentioned that the turmoil your life is in is partly or completely your fault.
    Finally it reads like you're using writing as an escape from a reality you don't really enjoy. Many of us procrastinate, in fact I am supposed to be working on an important presentation for tomorrow as I type this. But that's ok as long as you face the facts in time. If I know anything it's that problems virtually never as big as seen from afar and people are much more forgiving than we fear, especially while we try to improve ourselves.
    Good news! If it's your fault, you can probably fix it.
     
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  6. Sack-a-Doo!
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    Sack-a-Doo! Contributing Member Contributor

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    Simple, direct and to the point, yours is a well-written sentence. :)

    But seriously...

    Been there, done that and I have one word of advice: scheduling.

    I read somewhere a long time ago about a writer who, upon getting home from work, wanted desperately to get to his writing as soon as he was in the door. But if he did that, his family would interrupt him constantly. He'd get angry, the writing wouldn't get done and everyone was miserable.

    So, he fought back the urge to write as soon as he got home and instead concentrated on spending time with his family. After an hour or so, he announced that it was time to get to his writing and they'd leave him to it.

    I know your situation isn't exactly like this, but scheduling is what could make the difference for you. When I was faced with a similar situation, I got up two hours earlier than usual and did my writing then.

    In the end, it's whatever floats your particular boat.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2016
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  7. Nightstar99
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    Nightstar99 Contributing Member

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    Thanks for the reply.

    "It seems that conflicting interests are taking their toll on your marriage, your mental state and your life in general."

    Definitely.

    "Finally it reads like you're using writing as an escape from a reality you don't really enjoy."

    Absolutely!

    "If I know anything it's that problems virtually never as big as seen from afar and people are much more forgiving than we fear, especially while we try to improve ourselves."

    That was helpful, thank you.
     

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