I Don't Like Bacon

Hello fellow forumites,

This is a thread for random facts, random facts about you!

Me, I don't like bacon.

 

I have not eaten meat in over two months.

 

Bacon is something the internet can shut the fuck up about, any goddamn time now.

 

I have a tattoo of my own face on my left shoulder.

 

Have not had a bacon sarnie for breakfast for ages, think I will have one tomorrow.

 

I once bought Ross Noble a drink, stepped on Thierry Henry's foot in Manchester airport, and once been in the same room as Bob Dylan and Peter Gabriel - not at the same time.

 

My feet are a foot long.

 

Asian tourists to England seem to enjoy taking pictures of me. Wonder who they think I am?

 

My middle name is Webster.

 

I used to be a card-carrying Communist.

 

I have been single my whole life, now, I'm not complaining, as I quite enjoy it.

I do also have quite a short temper as well as being quite impatient most of the time, oh, and a no bullsh*t attitude.

yes, I have realised that the latter probably doesn't help me with the former.

 

I have tiny, tiny child-sized hands.

 

Kevin, or smoked pork product?

I like anchovies. On pizza, they are ambrosia. In other foods, they add a subtle savor that would astonish chovy-haters.

 

I am the placenta.

 

I once counted William H. Macy as a personal friend. He knows me by name.

Nearly all foods that I dislike are on grounds of texture, not flavor.

I have been told that I eat a sandwich like a typewriter, starting at the upper left, going across until I reach the end and the moving down to the next line.

 

I am a skinny fuck.

 

I once helped Alton Brown locate a cookbook.

 

I have Hobbit feet! U.S. size 8 EEE.

 

I'm absolutely pathetic at maths - but I'm pretty good at learning languages.

The first time I went to Amsterdam I found myself learning Dutch as soon as I landed in the airport by looking at and taking basically educated guesses in mentally translating advertisements and signs. Within a few days I could converse on a very basic level - though I'm also embarrassingly good at forgetting language too.

 

I'm the world's worst golfer. I bet there are guys with no arms who could beat me at golf.

 

For @Lemex, an old favourite of mine.

 

I like science fiction movies from the 1980s.

 

Nope. I am. I've never come close to breaking a hundred. For nine holes.

 

Yet I bet you could get more pars than me. (Is that the right term?)

 

I can't dance.