1. rachel21321
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    rachel21321 Member

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    I Have A Concept But...

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by rachel21321, Oct 21, 2009.

    So here is my concept:

    Little girl is afraid of monsters under her bead so she goes to family members to have them check. The twist is they all have "monsters" under their beds that they're hiding. (alcohol bottle, gay porn, drugs, whatever)

    The thing is I'm not sure how to go about bringing these items to the surface. So if y'all could please give me feedback on which idea you like best that'd be great.

    A) People hide their respective monsters before the little girl goes in their room and she catches a peak, enough for the reader to realize what is going on.
    B) Just talk about each prospective "monster" as the girl gets closer to the rooms.
    C) switch to an internal monologue for each character as the little girl enters their room.
    D) OTHER.

    Help/ideas are greatly appreciated.
     
  2. architectus
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    architectus Banned

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    Hmm. I'm thinking how I might structure this. Probably other.

    This is just how I would probably do it. I would make a big scene with the girl crying about the monster under her bed. The adults find it silly. After she is in bed, they would joke about the monster under her bed.

    Oh, I would probably write it from one of the adult's POV.

    So it would go something like this. Adults are having a cool conversation, perhaps playing a boardgame, maybe Trivia. Girl comes out complaining about a monster. MC doesn't want to stop playing and talking with her friends. Perhaps it is the girl's older sister who was stuck baby sitting. She would take her sister in the room, a nd after checking under the bed and in the closest, would calm her sister down.

    Damn sister is ruining the night. She goes back with her friends, who poke fun at the girl's monster. So childish. She really needs to grow up already, etc.

    Friends leave, big sister goes into her bedroom and pulls her monsters out from under her bed. Perhaps drugs. I would only make a subtle hint, like using monster as an adjective.

    But I like horror, so I would probably end it when the big sister pulls her drugs out from under her bed and is about to snort a line of coke, then an actual monster creeps out from under the bed and eats her, ha.
     
  3. Joel King
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    Joel King New Member

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    I't definitely sounds that this story would arrive in some predicament of taboo. I found that word based on the overall idea (which I find fascinating)! If you start your brainstorming around the taboos of each hidden "monster",you will immediately come to ideas on how to introduce different scenarios in which these taboos are being hidden.

    A great way to begin that brainstorming process is to begin with one topic. Describe as many aspects of the taboo subject (drugs, porn, etc.). This is relative to your character creation and will give you a quick insight into ideas on events and their sequences throughout the story.


    -Joel-
     
  4. arron89
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    arron89 Banned

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    I'd write it from a detached omniscient point of view. Its perfect for these kind of scenarios that need to follow multiple characters and deal with things that are out of the perception of the characters themselves. It will let you link together all of the characters and all of their 'monsters' without having to constantly go in and out of different characters, which I think would be less suitable as far as showing the connection between each of the 'monsters'.

    So, I guess it would be closest to option B. I would hav the narrating voice talk about the owner of the room and their monsters as the girl encounters them, or comes close to them or something.

    You could write it from the POV of the girl, but really I think so much of this idea relies on things that are beyond her understanding that it would ruin the concept, and changing POV among the adults I think is weaker than a less tightly focussed omniscient approach.

    It sounds like it could be amazing, its exactly the kind of story I like...if you need any more help with it down the line, send me a PM (or let me know when its done so I can read :p)
     
  5. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I would write it from the child's POV. She would not recognize the other monsters. But make her scared but determined, so she creeps around the house with a flashlight and a wiffle bat. She sees a bottle neck sticking out of a damp paper bag under her mom's bed, and the bag smells like mommy does a lot, like mommy does right now, snoring with her mouth open. Nope, no monsters there. On to the next room...

    Finally, she goes back to bed, mollified, and all the monsters sigh with relief, safe from discovery.
     
  6. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    i don't think anyone can give you a valid answer, without knowing who this story is for... is it meant to be a children's story/book, or a story with a moral for adult readers?
     
  7. ManhattanMss
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    ManhattanMss Contributing Member

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    I don't see it as a children's story (because of the subject matter), but I do see it entirely through the little girl's eyes (assuming it's fiction, of course), told from a 3rd person (close) POV--i.e., only the things she would know, overhear, or be told. Maybe she goes hunting the next day, after being told yet again that monsters don't live under beds (or something like that) to see if her bed is the only place where monsters hide (since she's not convinced they aren't there) and discovers no monsters under their beds at all, just as they've told her. But she does find the evidence of these various vices you name, which she can describe and think about (even without knowing what they are or are for). Maybe she takes some of these things to play with into her room, or to protect herself from her own monster. Maybe her family members each discover these things in her room or find them missing when they go looking under their own beds and freak out, creating some angst and maybe raised voices the little girl overhears. Lots of possibilities here. Sounds like fun (for the writer), but it could take shape as an interesting adult story with implications of "monsters" in various forms and what that could mean or suggest.
     
  8. rachel21321
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    rachel21321 Member

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    Thanks all of you so much for your opinions. I'll probably post it when I'm done. I've been trying to go for different points of view lately, really challenge myself as a writer. We'll see how it all turns out.
     
  9. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    still need to know if you're writing this for kids, or adults...
     

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