1. KMilz
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    KMilz Member

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    I just cannot think of the right word to use... help?

    Discussion in 'General Writing' started by KMilz, Jun 1, 2012.

    Hey everyone,

    I'm trying my damnedest to figure out the right word for this situation, but I can't figure it out. I want a verb to replace something like, "she said with honeyed words," or "she said with a sugary tone." Even if I replace 'said' with a stronger verb, it still sounds too passive for the narrative voice, given the situation.

    Can anyone think of a verb that means all of that in one word? 'Cuz I sure can't.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks to everyone in advance!
     
  2. GillySoose
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    GillySoose Member

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    She cooed?

    She purred?
     
  3. BallerGamer
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    BallerGamer Active Member

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    What's the context of the phrase? Is she sugar-coating her words or making it sound sweet? Given what I know I would say "She said with a sweet tone."
     
  4. KMilz
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    KMilz Member

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    The character is trying to convince her friend's father to let her go out when she's not supposed to, and she's sort of weaving a lie to help get her friend out. It's the way she's talking to the parent, but it's from her perspective. Plainly, it's a fake voice, almost how a waiter will be super ultra polite in your company but will break out the shit talking soon as those back-of-house doors close. Not quite sure the best way to explain it, but I hope it helps.

    Thanks to you both for the help! Means a lot.
     
  5. Love to Write
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    Love to Write I'm a lover of writing. What else is to be said? Contributor

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    Here are some options:

    She said sweetly.
    She pleaded alluringly.
    She said charmingly.
     
  6. KMilz
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    KMilz Member

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    Is there no perfect verb for this? Am I searching for a word that doesn't exist? If so, I can settle, 'cuz there's definitely been some decent options that you all have posted.

    Still, I feel like there should be a single word for this... bah.
     
  7. BallerGamer
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    BallerGamer Active Member

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    Contrive may be used, although it would sound weird if you said "She said with contriving words" or "Her tone clearly contriving". You might need to expand it a little bit instead of trying to wrap it all up in one word. I'll probably say after she said her words "she lied, her tone sweet but fabricated." I wouldn't exactly use that because it might also imply that the father could clearly tell she was lying, although that depends on the situation too; maybe he does, maybe he doesn't?
     
  8. ChickenFreak
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    ChickenFreak Contributing Member Contributor

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    Cajoled?

    Edited to add: I rarely suggest using a thesaurus, but Googling "thesaurus cajole" produces a number of possibilities.
     
  9. BallerGamer
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    BallerGamer Active Member

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    I'll need to add that word to my vocabulary haha
     
  10. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Don't decorate the tag. Infuse it into the context instead.

    Ideally, a speech tag should virtually disappear. Itrs primary purpose is to inform the reader who is speaking the dialogue. So don't use obscure verbs, and it's best to use adverbs only rarely with a speech tag.
     
  11. KMilz
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    KMilz Member

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    Lol, really like your example. Works quite well. Unfortunately, that specific example wouldn't be relevant as the character with the syrupy voice is whom's perspective the story is being told from. Still, great advice, and I really appreciate it. It will help me look at the issue in a different light.

    To Ballergamer and Chickenfreak, thanks to ya'll, too. Cajoled actually didn't mean what I thought it meant, so it was good to learn that, and your suggestions were all helpful in trying to figure out what I needed, Ballergamer.

    Thanks everyone. I feel I've learned what I need to on the matter to handle it effectively. Much obliged!
     
  12. chicagoliz
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    chicagoliz Contributing Member Contributor

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    I'd suggest conveying it through dialogue and actions the character is taking, maybe juxtaposing it with thoughts of the character (or another character who knows what she's doing), showing that she isn't really sincere.
     
  13. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Another approach is to show it through other characters' reactions.
     
  14. psychotick
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    psychotick Contributing Member Contributor

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    Hi,

    How about something like "She spoke with sweet insincerity."

    Cheers, Greg.
     

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