1. Arum
    Offline

    Arum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas

    I need help turning my villain into a villain.

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Arum, Nov 17, 2011.

    Okay, so here's my dilemma: My villain is a widowed king who has become a recluse since the passing of his wife. He was never mentally stable to begin with, but I need help with ideas on what makes him snap completely and want to kill off all the other kings and become supreme ruler. Please help this could make or break my story.

    And also the Hero of the story is the evil king's son. Since his mother was assassinated he has earned himself the nickname 'The Rogue Prince' from his people, since he is rarely at his father's palace and prefers to travel the countryside from kingdom to kingdom.

    I don't have a complete plot yet, it's still forming, but I know that during a rare visit to his father, he discovers the plot and confronts his dad. After a brief clash with the palace guards he escapes. After which his father begins putting wanted posters out offering a price for him dead or alive.

    If you need anymore information, just ask and I will do my best to help make it clear. Like I said the plot is still in the process of forming and any help I could get sorting out this bump in the road would be appreciated.

    The villain problem has been solved. Thank you to everyone who posted their ideas.
     
  2. cruciFICTION
    Offline

    cruciFICTION Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,236
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    His wife once told him "You're a better king than all the others" or some such, which makes him believe that he needs to liberate the lands of everyone else and place them under his benevolent rule in order to provide a better system for all, but he's completely delusional and ignorant to the fact that poverty is on the rise and his economy is going downhill.
     
  3. Arum
    Offline

    Arum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Thank you so much, I could include something like that in the prologue to help it all bind together. When I first began piecing the plot together it seemed to flow so smoothly, but then I started thinking about the reasons why Dante would suddenly emerge from his 'reclusiveness' (yes I know it's not a real word LOL) to conquer the world and everything froze on me.
     
  4. cruciFICTION
    Offline

    cruciFICTION Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,236
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    1. There's no reason why reclusiveness isn't a "real" word. The suffix "-ness" can be added onto most words. It's just more likely that there's already a better word for it.

    2. I'd personally be against doing it via prologue, but that's just me.
     
  5. Arum
    Offline

    Arum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    True. Lol Sorry about that. I didn't sleep much last night, after you gave me that idea I began working on my plot again and... well technically I didn't sleep, I will probably do that after I finish replying to you.

    And the reason I said I would do it in a prologue is because the Queen was assassinated a few years before the current storyline. But I'm curious what other way would you suggest?
     
  6. cruciFICTION
    Offline

    cruciFICTION Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,236
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    Well, through memories. Not flashbacks, but memories by the king. Doing that sort of thing through a prologue can be extremely tacky if not handled well. It really just depends on whether you plan on having scenes from the king's perspective or not.

    EDIT: Given that you've made him out to be mostly delusional, memories would be good to play with with him. You're free to make some things real and some things fake. Have a strong undercurrent running through with them depending on his emotions.
     
  7. Arum
    Offline

    Arum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    Well the king is mentioned in the story periodically by his son, but he's not going to make an appearance until around chapter five. That chapter is mainly him speaking with Commander Jaques Blackwell about the next upcoming siege on one of the other kingdoms and their plan to eradicate as many of the common citizens of their neighboring nation as possible before they attack the castle.
     
  8. cruciFICTION
    Offline

    cruciFICTION Contributing Member Contributor

    Joined:
    May 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,236
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    Brisbane, Australia
    Evil. I take it you're not quite going with my idea, then?
     
  9. Arum
    Offline

    Arum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    I am considering it, believe me. I'm just very attached to the outline I did for the prologue. It helps to show the king as the evil crazy person that he is and also lets the reader form their own opinion of whether or not he is truly evil or just misunderstood. It also explains why the prince would prefer to travel around like a common person rather than keep his luxurious lifestyle.

    I may keep the prologue and go with your idea. It sounds like it could work. But I don't think my mind is working right at the moment. My boyfriend had to go to work so I have to stay awake with our kid so no sleep for me.
     
  10. Ixloriana
    Offline

    Ixloriana Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2011
    Messages:
    72
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    the internet
    Who assassinated the queen?

    Or more importantly, who does he believe assassinated the queen? If he believes that it was a conspiracy among all of the countries that he wants to conquer, and that all of the citizens of those countries are equally responsible (guilt by association, basically), that might give him motive to go on a killing spree.
     
  11. Jhunter
    Offline

    Jhunter Mmm, bacon. Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2011
    Messages:
    1,233
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Southern California
    You answered your own question. His mind snaps after his wife is assassinated. So now he deems it necessary to rule the world. Because he thinks his wife would not have been killed otherwise if it was all under his thumb.
     
  12. Arum
    Offline

    Arum New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Texas
    The arrow was meant for the king and she saw the arrow and did what any loving wife would do, jumped in front of the arrow. The assassin was one of his own people. He held a grudge against King Dante for taking away his title of nobility as punishment for running away from battle while his comrades were slaughtered.

    And I have actually worked out this problem. Thank you. As his wife died her last words to him were: "Be the greatest ruler the world has ever known." And in his grief riddled mind he has twisted her dying words to mean that she wanted him to take over the entire world.
     
  13. Devrokon
    Offline

    Devrokon Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2011
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada
    You could make it a reflection of Stalin: paranoia, greed, and a little bit of unhealthy insanity.

    :D
     
  14. Darin Peaker
    Offline

    Darin Peaker Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2011
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    London, Ontario, Canada
    I see many ways to play with this, not all mutually exclusive. I take it you are dealing with a tragic figure here. A basically good man who became evil?

    Hmm. Dante was given asylum by another monarch?
    An advisor who pours poison into his ear for his own gain?
    Dante was given the means and opportunity by an enemy monarch? Perhaps this monarch was in league with a third and after he conquered them then the other monarchs saw him as a threat and began to plan for mutual defence. Then he see them as conspiring against him.
    Perhaps Dante was backed by an evil king who he thought was his friend and the discovery of the betrayal years later was the final straw.
    Perhaps the arrow was poison and he nicked himself pulling it out and in low doses the poison causes madness.
    Perhaps he instinctively pulled it out and it was barbed, killing her.
    I would favour a multifactor approach. You could have a trace of madness in the family.
    Perhaps he was a man of peace dedicated to forging an alliance/treaty among the kingdoms. After the tragedy this desire took a darker turn.
     
  15. Darin Peaker
    Offline

    Darin Peaker Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2011
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    London, Ontario, Canada
    I see many ways to play with this, not all mutually exclusive. I take it you are dealing with a tragic figure here. A basically good man who became evil?

    Hmm. Dante was given asylum by another monarch?
    An advisor who pours poison into his ear for his own gain?
    Dante was given the means and opportunity by an enemy monarch? Perhaps this monarch was in league with a third and after he conquered them then the other monarchs saw him as a threat and began to plan for mutual defence. Then he see them as conspiring against him.
    Perhaps Dante was backed by an evil king who he thought was his friend and the discovery of the betrayal years later was the final straw.
    Perhaps the arrow was poison and he nicked himself pulling it out and in low doses the poison causes madness.
    Perhaps he instinctively pulled it out and it was barbed, killing her.
    I would favour a multifactor approach. You could have a trace of madness in the family.
    Perhaps he was a man of peace dedicated to forging an alliance/treaty among the kingdoms. After the tragedy this desire took a darker turn.
     
  16. ArtWander
    Offline

    ArtWander Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2011
    Messages:
    394
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Redlands, CA
    I'm not sure about specifics, but if you want my thoughts on really good villains, it's a person that the reader can relate to (at least on some level.) In other words, never make someone evil just for the sake of doing so...people can smell that a mile away.

    In my opinion, don't fall into the cliche of vengeance/anger/sadness. These are all horridly one-dimensional (not to say you couldn't include these emotions, just not feature them.) Instead, give them something worth fighting for, only it is tainted in their warped mind. I think someone else mentioned it already, but maybe give the king a realization that he is a fantastic leader, and no one knows him better than himself. Perhaps his wife kept his ego in check, and now that she is gone, he is channeling his anger and loss into overcompensation to show her that he could do it without her?
     
  17. SnappyUK
    Offline

    SnappyUK Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2011
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Midlands, UK
    Alternatively, the assassin is actually a patsy in a much larger conspiracy (or at least the king thinks he is). Think Kennedy assassination conspiracy theories for example. Was his wife really the target? and so on...
    Much of the king's character would be informed by his paranoia and, as has been said - lead to him wanting to wipe out all opposition out of revenge or grief. The most important thing for any villain is to believe that what they are doing is right - even if that needs them to have a twisted view of the world.
     
  18. L a u r a
    Offline

    L a u r a Senior Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2011
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    USA
    Every ruler wants to do what's best for his country, right? He (or she) wants to do everything in his (or her) power to make sure that the country and its people will move forward. What if your king started noticing the flaws in the other kings? He could see them as below him...only the Supreme King knows best for his country. After all, if want something done right, you have to do it yourself. So your villain wants to make sure everything is done right.

    And he will do it himself. The only way that he can make sure that will happen is to see that all of the other kings are out of the way.

    The son, in the meantime, could start out as a sort of spy for his father. He could be going from kingdom to kingdom, gathering information and telling his father all of the things that the other kings do wrong. Maybe the son could even help his father assassinate a few kings.

    But then the son realizes what his father is doing, and he wants to fight back; he wants to save the kings. So he decides to stop getting information for his father...or maybe he'll give his father false information.

    Once the villain finds out about his son's betrayal, he puts a price on the prince's head and adds him to his hit list.


    I hope you can use some of these ideas! Good luck with your story, and happy writing. :)
     

Share This Page