1. Sphyre
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    Sphyre New Member

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    I need some advice

    Discussion in 'Erotica' started by Sphyre, Nov 2, 2013.

    I'm a published writer but I avoid sex scenes at all costs. Not because I am prudish or anything but because they are so f-ing difficult to execute. Seriously, not my strong point. I have a lot of respect for anyone capable of writing about sex.

    The thing is that my boyfriend is a bit of a bibliophile and has strongly hinted that he would like me to write him something. A story specifically for him. Originally I was thinking I would just write a story based on conversations we've had but I've been realizing I don't have time to devote to an entire short story or novella. Plus, he's my boyfriend.

    This led to my decision to try to write a series of erotic vignettes and give those to him once a week or so. Maybe something that hinges on a very broad and rather malleable plot. Or maybe not. But definitely the same characters. I just wasn't able to figure out if those characters should be us or who should be the POV character (I mean, these are for him but I am not a man and more to the point I have never had sex as a man so I'm a little hesitant to write about sex in that much detail through the eyes of male character) or how to set each of these up. I think after the first installment that last issue will be easier as I've already established that these two people are boinking (see why I don't usually write sex scenes?) When I tried to ask him for some input when we got drunk about a week and half ago he indicated that he wanted us to be the characters (which will actually be harder for me I think)

    But the POV thing is still a problem. Should I switch POVs (my original plan)? Should I stick to one and which one? The woman since I am one and it will be easier for me to visual and describe the experience? Or the man since this is ultimately for him?

    On top of this I'm also struggling with establishing their first encounter. Should they/we already know one another? Should they/we already be sexual partners? And how am I supposed to start? WHERE am I supposed to start?

    I am not intending this to be read by anyone but him. It is a very personal gift, obviously, so I'm not overly worried about adhering to certain standards I otherwise would but I still want it to be good and I want to enjoy what I'm creating. I'm not sure I can until I work some of this out. I get that the set up is probably going to come down to my discretion but I would really like some input about the POV and any other advice anyone has to offer.

    (ETA: I'm sorry the title of this thread doesn't provide much insight into what this post says. It's been a while since I've been on forums)
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2013
  2. minstrel
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    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Have you thought about asking him to start it off? Have him write the first page or two, so you know what kind of thing he's going for in terms of POV, etc. Maybe you could turn the whole thing into a collaboration - he writes a vignette for you, then you write one for him, etc. It might be easier for you, and more fun for both of you.

    That's about all the ideas I have for you. I'm terrible at sex scenes, too - I just tend to leave them out. "He looked at her with smoldering eyes. They went into the bedroom together and closed the door. ### Later, they took their coffees out onto the porch to read the newspaper in the sun ..." That sort of thing. Only more science-fictiony. :D
     
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  3. Sphyre
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    Sphyre New Member

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    That's precisely how my sex scenes usually go too ;) "It's to keep that PG-13 rating! Not because it's intimidating and makes me feel exposed! Really!"

    I'm not sure I could get him to write anything. Writing isn't one of his (pretty varied) talents so he's very hesitant to show me anything he's done (I've offered to edit things he's doing for work since he helps me out frequently and he just closes windows :p) but I can probably get him to help in other ways.
     
  4. live2write
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    live2write Contributing Member

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    Majority of books that I read that contained sex scenes or suggested sex scenes were PG13 rated. Majority of the books the scene lasted 1 paragraph long, (unless it was relevant to the entire story). I find that the build up of romance is more visually stimulating (in translating the words to ideas) and the sex scene is the crescendo that completes it. It you are uncomfortable with sex scenes, why don't you create the build up before hand.

    Is the woman attracted to the man? Why? Explain by his appearance, features, personality. How does the man look at her? How does the woman think the man looks at her? What about his body language and his body in relation to the environment. How does he touch her? Is he rough or gentle? The smell of his scent? Is he a dirty man or well groomed? What are his weaknesses? Strengths? What ticks him off? What makes him more interested?

    These are questions that would progress into the sex scene crescendo. The sex scene could be described where you sum up the moment. Is it a rush of ecstasy as the man embraces the woman? Or is it a disaster and one sided? Did it end on a good note or one where one dismisses his/her self? Would the character want more of it or never to experience it again. Always always always keep it short and simple.


    One important piece of advice to keep in mind..........Allow the reader to fill in the blanks!!!

    Automatically the reader will develop in their own imagination what the scene would be like with the detail in the buildup. The brief description of what happens will guide the reader into the direction if it is good or not going so well. From there on the reader can imagine the graphic content and what happens.

    Now what you can do is also describe the power play. Who has the dominate role and who is the submissive. (It is not to be mistaken with bdsm, just think who is taking the lead and who is following). Is there a power switch where somebody takes over? You can write this action in a way where it is drived by emotion without so much action.

    Hope this helps!
     
  5. jazzabel
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    jazzabel Contributing Member Contributor

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    Phew... I can write pretty good sex scenes, I've been told, but I couldn't do what you are proposing. Too exposing. I can only do it anonymously, then, I can truly let go. My husband does my first pass editing, and I am still mortified to let him read those, lol. So, good luck! :)
     
  6. Mckk
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    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Ask him what he'd prefer - what sort of set up would he like? He must have some bedroom fantasies - what are they? Recreate that with you and him as the characters. What are some things he'd love to try but haven't, or perhaps wouldn't be brave enough to actually try it in real life? That might be cool to explore. Ask him to list you some things he'd really like to see in the story, list you the kind of things that turns him on. Tell him to go wild - anything he'd like to experiment with, even if it's out of this world and you'd never do it - tell him to write it down. This is the time to do so - fulfil some things that might never happen otherwise, have some fun lol.

    Essentially, I guess imagine if you're planning a romantic and kinky night together. What would you do? Now write it instead of doing it looool :p
     
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  7. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    I remember a great piece of advice I read/saw/stole off someone with regards opening-up and not scaring off a new girlfriend with regards personal fantasies. "You'll not believe the dream I had last night... there was me, you and...." Then wait for the reaction, after all she can't blame you for a dream and who knows?

    If I were you I'd act out my fantasies under the guise of a character and because this is a personal 'gift' to him from you don't be afraid to open up - if he's shocked "It's only a story...."

    If your bofriend is anything like me he'd prefer to read a fly-on-the-wall account of 'he did, she did' and see how dirty you can be. After reading he will know it's you. Interesting times for you guys ;)


    Just as a by the way @Wreybies , should this thread be in the erotica section?
     
  8. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Oh, yes, it's fine for this to be here. Where else in the forum is @Sphyre going to get candid opinions from other members on this question? :)
     
  9. erebh
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    erebh Contributing Member Contributor

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    That's cool - I just have a little pair of specs on the erotica forum so I found this quite by accident. As a by the way, is this section over-17 too?
     
  10. Wreybies
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    Wreybies The Ops Pops Operations Manager Staff Contest Administrator Supporter Contributor

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    Yes, this is also age restricted. This is the same discussion area that was in the Erotic subforum down in the Workshop. Daniel moved it here to keep discussion with discussion and Workshop with Workshop.
     
  11. T.Trian
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    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Staff Supporter Contributor

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    The only thing I'd add to what's already been said is that if you want the sex scene to be arousing, it should arouse you. If you don't feel anything when writing / reading the scene, there's a good chance the reader won't either, because, I don't know why, but it kinda shows if the author is just going through the motions. The lack of that emotional, sexual charge can really suck a scene dry (sorry, couldn't resist).

    Of course, if you're writing some sick, twisted scene that's supposed to turn the reader's stomach, that's another thing, like most of us probably wouldn't get off on a scene depicting incest, but if you're going for hot, the scene should get you going as well. When I'm writing a sex scene that's supposed to be sexy, I picture what I'd like to experience and from there on getting the scene on paper is easy... and fun.
     
  12. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    if it would help to have some examples to go by, you can email me for a couple of short stories i wrote that contain graphic, but 'entertaining' sex scenes...

    love and hugs, maia
    maia3maia@hotmail.com
     

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