1. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    I think I'm engaged.

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Domoviye, May 15, 2008.

    Hey everyone.
    I think I'm now unofficially engaged, and about to be officially engaged in a week.
    I was talking with my girlfriend on MSN, and she has been very unsure about me. Coming from a different culture, being 5 years younger than she is, and not speaking Chinese, she isn't sure if I'm a safe bet. So I have been very supportive and tried not to push.
    I was going to ask her in October if she wanted to marry me, that way we'd have the summer to think it over carefully since she knew I was planning it anyways.
    But tonight we were talking about marriage and family, and babies. Unfortunately my not trying not to push her, it sounded like I might not want to marry her. So I said I did want to marry her, and not thinking said "If I asked you to marry me would you say yes?"
    She said yes.
    So we're meeting next Friday (we're both very busy), when unless she has changed her mind, I'll pop the question.
    Now my only thought is, do I buy the ring without her, or do we pick it out together?

    So yeah. My happy bachelor days will soon be behind me.
     
  2. Hulk
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    Hulk Banned

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    Congrats, Dom! :)


    And about the ring, do what you think she'd prefer.
     
  3. FoxyMomma
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    FoxyMomma Contributing Member

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    It's such a nice surprise when the girl has no idea that you are purchasing a ring. I know when my hubby gave me my new wedding band, I was so excited. I had no idea that he was replacing the old one (it broke :( ). So I say go for it and buy the ring and have on Friday. It adds so much to that "moment".
     
  4. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Thats what I thought.
    I have in my free time been looking at rings, and I found a nice one two weeks ago that is around my price range. So yeah. I think I'll pick it up on Sunday.
    Damn this was a surprise.

    Edit: Thank you both.
     
  5. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Congrats!!!
     
  6. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    That's great news, Domoviye!

    I'll save the congratulations until it's official though. It will be more meaningful that way.

    I think it's special, bonding opportunity to go selecting rings together. But you could always get her a "placeholder" ring, with the clear understanding that it's only so you can share in the wonderful experience of choosing rings together.

    Best wishes, amigo!
     
  7. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    I like the idea of a place holder ring.
    Go out for dinner give it to her, and than tell her to come with me as we pick the best ring possible.
    Thanks Cog thats a great idea.
    Thanks Rumpole.
     
  8. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    much nicer calling it a promise ring. place holder sounds like a book marker.
    pick that up without her. but since an engagement ring is forever worn let her at least
    get one she loves.
    I know you have great taste but it is her finger.
     
  9. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Good point lessa, about "promise ring".

    You may find she has particular likes and dislikes about rings you don't know about. My girlfriend is a Registered Nurse, and as such is continually using exam gloves. A ring that stick up is out of the question for her. Furthermore, her skin is sensitive to certain metals, so she has to wear only particular alloys. Also, she has certain preferences about what kinds of stones she likes.

    It would be a terrible shame to sink a large amount of money into a ring she cannot wear or secretely hates.
     
  10. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Actually Lessa she doesn't seem to like my taste in jewelery. I've bought her a few pieces and the only ones she wears are ones we pick out together.
    Edit: You're right Cog. I put a fair bit of money towards a bracelet and a necklace I thought were nice, and she's worn them a few times, but not often. She prefers the cheaper stuff we pick out together.
     
  11. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    I am extremely happy for them and not the least bit surprised.
    Making quick life time choices in wives seems to be a family trait.
    Just hope that they will be as happy as his father and I have been.
    And I think talking to them both and listening not to the words but the
    feelings behind them they will be together for a very long time.
    So mom approves
     
  12. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    YAY!!!!
    Now if only the butterflies in my stomach agreed with you.
    Or maybe its the last bit of food poisoning I got 2 days ago.
     
  13. Cogito
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    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    You ate poisonous butterflies???
     
  14. Rumpole40k
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    Rumpole40k Banned

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    Nope as I remember it is the butterflies.
     
  15. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    No Cog, just their souls.
    Unfortunately souls are much harder to pass than the bodies.
     
  16. Banzai
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    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Alcohol helps in passing souls, Dom.


    And preliminary congrats! I'll be expecting an invite :p
     
  17. Kit
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    Kit Contributing Member Contributor

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    Cool Dom, let us know how it goes. I'd probably take her with you because if she doesn't like it then it'll be a waste for you and it'll make her feel really bad.
     
  18. mammamaia
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    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    speaking as a woman who had to wear a ring i didn't like and wouldn't have picked out for myself, for both your sakes, let her pick it out!... set a price range and go together to look...

    i finally had my very costly but ugly ring broken up and the major stones reset in a ring i loved that was designed for me and the rest of the stones paid for the upgrade in price... but it would have been much nicer to have had my taste and preferences considered from the get-go...
     
  19. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    <comes running in squealing with excitement>

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    This is soooooooooooo exciting Domoviye! Seriously it is awesome to hear Dom. I'm so happy for you both. I hope that it all works out for ya's.

    As for the ring, I love lessa's idea. That is really sweet. I think that is the way it should be done. It is how my parents did it. They called it a friendship ring, and they picked the wedding ring out together. Very beautiful idea.

    awwwwwww so very exciting this is....
     
  20. FoxyMomma
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    FoxyMomma Contributing Member

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    Now here's the next question....what to do with said "promise ring" once she has the engagement ring. My idea, if and when you have kids and one of them is a girl, you give it to her when she's of age to start thinking about boys. It's her promise ring that she will stay "pure" until marriage (kinda corny, but I think it's sweet.).
     
  21. lessa
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    She has it resized and moved to her pinky on the same hand.
    When her son thinks he is engaged she gives it to him to give as a promise ring.
    That way the first son gets the promise ring and the daughter gets to wear the mother's jewellery since the son won't want it.
    I don't think my grandchildren would want my engagement ring since it is an amethyst not a diamond. My rings are all very simple except the diamond ring I will be getting shortly. I may give that one to Dan to use so I hope he has sense enough to wait and see if he and lisa like it before they spend money on a new one. This one is new and never worn so it won't be a used ring.
    But passing rings down always seemed like a nice tradition to me.
     
  22. Domoviye
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    Domoviye Contributing Member

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    Oh I was actually going to use up to 5000 yuan to buy her one tonight or next Friday. I already got the promise ring (nice looking, cheap one) and was going to ask her tonight as a surprise.
    And Thank you everyone. I don't know what we'll do with the promise ring. I like the idea of resizing it and giving it to one of my children, but we'll wait and see. We've got some time.
     
  23. Torana
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    Torana Contributing Member Contributor

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    wooooo goodluck Domoviye. Let us know how it goes too :p :)

    We is all very very excited :D
     
  24. lessa
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    lessa Contributing Member

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    She will say yes and they will live happily ever after.
    just like in the stories I write.
    I just wish they were in Canada so we could be at the wedding.
    I also hope she likes me. being a MIL is sort of like being the wicked step mother.
    and I already have one DIL who doesn't like me.
    But that is ok because she makes raymond happy and that is all that counts.
    Just wish I could be at the wedding.
     
  25. Sayuri
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    It's for wearing on the right hand. That's what I do. BTW--there are a lot of beautiful antique small-ish rings. You can find them on eBay, in antique stores, and at nice jewelry stores with estate jewelry sections. Another alternative is to buy an eternity band, which can be used as a wedding ring, engagement ring, or promise ring, depending on the taste of the recipient. Srsly, though, there's not a girl in the world who doesn't like eternity bands. Here's a couple of examples: http://cgi.ebay.com/DIAMOND-BAND-RING-WHITE-GOLD-WEDDING-ANTIQUE-GUARD-NEW_W0QQitemZ380028236801QQihZ025QQcategoryZ92853QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT&item=140231806208#ebayphotohosting
    http://cgi.ebay.com/26CT-ANTIQUE-DIAMOND-18K-WHITE-GOLD-WEDDING-BAND-RING_W0QQitemZ110252543346QQihZ001QQcategoryZ92853QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

    My idea is to give up the promise ring only when and if your son or nephew wants to propose at a young age. :D
     

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