1. primalpeace

    primalpeace Member

    Jan 12, 2013
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    Idea Feedback

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by primalpeace, Jan 12, 2013.

    (Note: this is a similar idea but completely rethought of from my original idea.)

    There are changes being made. Everything changed will have a * in front of it.

    The people of the United States were forced to take shots after a vaccine has come out quickly for a plague that began to ravish the United States. Only a few thousand died. The vaccine had no side effects- but there was a undetectable computer chip in it which flowed into the bloodstream and went into the person's brain. This chip was made to use its own selective memory on the person to change what they think they saw. This is where it all starts.

    Timeline: (Made to understand the book)
    2020:The United States and China have been struggling to get along as technology has advanced and the United States has little use for China's exports to the United States. This hurt China's economy. *The United States cuts off all imports from China due to them becoming self-dependent. The United States begins to export items to China. The United States reaches a state of where it has the best economy worldwide.

    2022: The First Cyber War is the first war fought throughout the computer, it was between the countries China and the U.S. Neither side won. It caused much damages but no long term effects, lasting only about a year for China and two for the U.S. *The worst of the effects was that most of America had no access to the internet for two months.

    2025: The Ross Plague began at R.O.S.S Corporations Headquarters where their research and testings for a "miracle" cure to cancer. A virus was released and this led into a plague. The United States suffered approx. 6000-10000 deaths from direct effect of the plague. But R.O.S.S Corp. found a cure quickly and all around the United States the cure was given out, but this cure also contained a computer chip made by the U.S government. It was used to change a person's perspective and thoughts of things that happened in the United States, this was used to do tests and cause people to forget someone completely and think completely differently on things. It was very successful. *Later R.O.S.S Corp. found out that the virus was made and constructed by the United States government. R.O.S.S Corp. employees were bribed on what they know. A few thousand men and women lost their jobs. They were given at least ten thousand dollars each to not talk of what they know. Between now and the year 2030, three hundred of them have died from mostly unsolved murder cases.

    2026: The United States government has been rounding up teens using the chip, now nicknamed SMC.*(Selective Memory Chip) The government begins rounding up the healthy, and the unhealthy teens they can find and begin using them in experiments. They test them with biochemicals, new technological weapons such as long range stealth lasers, detector bullets, scanners, nuclear warfare, and radiation warfare. These are only the bad ones. Much other tests go on, getting better for the person or worst for them. Why do they use teens? Because they are starting to develop and have more potential. They are generally healthier and can be influenced greatly physically and mentally.(Note: this is not something too futuristic, lasers can be used in current warfare but they are not in mass production, the current ones have ranges of 750 miles and make absolutely no sound at all, detector bullets are currently known as possible, but they require a lot of money.) *The United States, after the mass production of the chips start looking for ways to make even more money to make up for what they lost.

    *2028: China has been in great dept, but they have been trying to make it seem like it is not obvious to their country to keep them all under control. The United States Government realizes this and uses them as a business partner. They decide to sell them the Virus they manufactured and the chips to China. China buys it for a few trillion dollars putting them greatly in dept. But they quickly make their money back by selling it to most of the countries worldwide. The information on the chips have never been revealed.

    2030: As Miller's chips malfunctions and is seen in a X-ray after breaking his collar bone. They take it out. It was to badly damaged for any information to be found. He begins to memorize slowly but surely his friends that he never knew before and his twin brother, that he saw being taken away and shot in the head as he tried to resist. He begins to questions his past view on his reality and everyone else's in the United States.

    *The main plot in this story is a revolution against the United States. It seems highly unlikely to happen in life. But things change fast, and we could be having a war anywhere in any country in a month and be completely fine with the country as we are now, but things can change fast.

    *New Technology and Discoveries:
    Data Chip (SMC)
    Paylight (Rare Earth Element that each atom of it has the potential to store over a million terabytes of memory. This was a big discovery and very few countries have the element Paylight.
    Retina Money (The United States no longer uses money, and keeps money on a persons DNA. It's information is based on a Retina scan. To store all this data the United States used Paylight to keep in information stored. It is virtually un-hackable. You can give money with a DATA Wrist. It is given free by the schools of the United States, and given at banks for a cheap price. All bankers got a new job to keep the data on check.)
    DATA Wrist (Object you put on your wrist and you can pay people with it, check your balance, write notes, set alarms, get information on the internet, and many other things.)

    Fresno, California

    *United States population: 870 million

    Q. Where does China come in?
    A. China came in for a incentive for the United States government to use more extreme measures to fight back for their countries.

    *Q. How does the population of America increase so much?
    A. After many reforms making the United States a greater country then it already is, the United States getting the best economy worldwide, and the virus being in just about every country worldwide, many people immigrated to the United States.

    *Q. How does the data chip know which direction it is going and where to stop?
    A. It is inserted into the arm and it follows the bloodstream all the way to the brain, it checks the speed of the blood stream and calculates where to stop. It uses Paylight to get the information on when and where to stop.

    Personal Opinions:
    In my first Idea it was just round them up and kill them to control the population, but in the end no one is evil at heart and would do something like that. People like Hitler and Osama Bin Laden did bad things, but they thought they were doing what was right. This is the idea that this novel will take place, as in it I do plan a revolution against the U.S government and future laws (that are fictional) that begin to anger the people. This will be, if the book does become a series which I hope it does, the second book in this series.
  2. JJ_Maxx

    JJ_Maxx Banned

    Oct 8, 2012
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    I think it was the movie 'XXX' with Vin Deisel where he looked at a maintain of guns and rockets and pointed to his car and said, "I want all of that... in here."

    It seems you put a lot of thought into the backstory, but remember that the plot and the characters are vitally important. It will be your job to make us care about any of this.

    We can't really comment very much because its not a story yet, it's more of a setting.
  3. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

    May 19, 2007
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    Massachusetts, USA
    A story concept means nothing. What matters is how you write it: the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it.

    There's absolutely no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..."

    If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it.

    Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?

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