1. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    Illness interfering with all creeative outlets

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFGuru, Mar 21, 2012.

    I have been dealing with recurring cold and flu like symptoms since January. I get better and feel fine for a period of three days to a week then get slammed again with more of the same symptoms. Right now I am on my second round of antibiotics (three weeks after the first round) for a sinus infection that has returned with a vengeance. It is starting to take a toll. I can't focus on my book research. It makes absolutely no sense. I forget what I read as soon as I read it. I don't dare open my rough draft in progress as I am not fit to proof it and anything I add to the story will again make no sense. The words seem to spin and go in and out of focus.

    My music suffers. I can't sing. I can barely talk for the hoarseness. I sit down to practice songs I had almost memorized on the piano and the notes make no sense. It is as if I am staring at a foreign language on the page and I know it should be easy to translate, but I can not interpret it for the life of me. I get lost and can't figure out what measure I'm on. My fingers stumble across the keys. Guitar is a joke. I've spent too much time sleeping and trying to regain my strength and not enough time practicing. I just started guitar lessons in January. My fingers just stopped hurting two weeks ago and now, I just spent the past week and a half under layers of blankets sleeping off feverish dreams, hoping to save enough energy to make it through my 12 hour shifts. It has worked for the most part. I've only called off one day, in spite of how ill I am. I rest during my breaks and try to sleep to regain some energy. The problem is, my newly formed callouses are gone.

    I know there is nothing you guys can do. I'm probably just venting at this point. I just feel creatively stifled and frustrated every time I attempt to work on any thing. My book has been at a stand still as a result, and I just want my strength back so I can focus.
     
  2. funkybassmannick
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    funkybassmannick Contributing Member

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    Maybe you don't buy into it, but I believe everything happens for a reason. When I was battling depression/anxiety, I knew, however much it sucked to be in it, it was going to make me wiser and more experienced. I will be a more understanding person, a more competent psychologist, and a more insightful writer. You can learn something from every experience.

    If you can't creatively write, can you keep a journal? You might even have story ideas pop in based largely off your experience. Not to say your life is shitty, but so many of the greatest writers had shitty lives.

    In any case, I wish you well. I will pray for you, for whatever that's worth.
     
  3. Mallory
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    Mallory Mallegory. Contributor

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    That really sucks!

    I hope you feel better soon.

    In the meantime, maybe focus on coming up with stuff in your mind for right now? Someone once said that 90 percent of writing is thinking. And when you are able to physically write, you'll have an ammo stock of ideas.
     
  4. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    I may or may not be able to help. I have ME/CfS.

    Everyone is different but I find eat lots of ginger, taking some ginseng and either drinking coffee or Pepsi (not Coke) helps. After taking ginseng and drinking caffinated drink I meditate for an hour. (there are lots of guided meditations available free on youtube). Do some laughter yoga (again there are examples on youtube - I only went intially because my friend thought the teacher was handsome). Then my brain fog is usually a lot less.
     
  5. BFGuru
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    BFGuru Active Member

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    Funky, the reason is probably because I started working in a hospital a few months ago and my body hasn't adjusted. LOL (yes I did just lawl). It just royally sucks though.

    I do think about it, when I'm conscious. The Donald Trump naked dreams are not something I wish to write about though. :/

    As for taking stuff, I do something similar Egaisma. I've upped the vitamins, taking acidophilus to combat the antibiotic, trying to stay hydrated, using peppermint tea with honey and no artificial sweeteners right now. Caffeine in copious amounts to get me through work and on my worst days meditate from bed a meditation method I picked up from the last book I read, which basically focuses on my circulatory system. It basically knocks me out again.

    Today for the first time in weeks I woke up without a runny/stuffy nose. I still feel pressure in my sinuses though and my eyes are the puffiest things ever. At work people kept asking why I had two black eyes. My husband was concerned and I told him I was going to tell everyone he hit me. He just rolled his eyes at me because he knows I'd probably dismember him if he ever tried such a thing.

    Well, back to my fluids. This antibiotic leaves a nasty bitter taste in my mouth.
     
  6. Elgaisma
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    Elgaisma Contributing Member Contributor

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    Some meditations knock you out ;) some help with energy however all are difficult with sinus problems. The lauging insanely for no reason can help though in short bursts.

    Glad you are feeling better.
     

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