Well... hmm. I would label myself introverted because I'm not the guy in my group who throws himself across the circle, but I will talk regularly. I'm just a guy who isn't hyper 99% of the time, and also, I'm partially introverted because I don't mind silence among people. I can't stand working/being on the computer without music, like right now (Gigi, it's Owl City!)... But, yeah, I'm a person who will talk, but doesn't mind silence, but won't be extrodinarily crazy in a group, yet I'll assert my opinion a ton in a debate in class, or what have you. I don't know. Sometimes I'm chill, high-strung, or anything in between. There's no mode or average way to describe how introverted/extroverted. I guess it really depends on the conversation and the group of people. (Long redundant reply: complete.)
This is a very old thread, but since I was specifically looking for one like this and there doesn't seem to be a more recent one I thought I'd try to resurrect it. Today I actually browsed a FB page I follow called 'Introverts Unite' and found some images that really made me laugh (because they ring so true). I just thought I'd share some of my favourites. Spoiler: Image 1 Spoiler: Image 2 Spoiler: Image 3 Spoiler: Image 4 Spoiler: Image 5 I'd describe most of the people in my life as ambiverts (the term for neither nor). Some of the people I best got on with, for instance at work, were what I call gentle extroverts. I'm definitely an introvert, though I think what that means is still often misunderstood. What about you?
I have the curse of the introvert - @LostThePlot is the most extroverted person I've ever met. I usually hate extroverts, though. They take up a lot of space and are really tiring. With Lost I guess I was just caught up in his charm. Damn that man's charm!
I have mild anxiety attacks when the phone rings, I suppose that places me well within introvert territory.
I can take ringing phones (except for at work), but the door bell makes me throw up. Have never heard this door bell without expecting guests, though, but at my old place... I'd never open the door if I didn't expect anyone, anyway.
I have that as well. I usually avoid the phone at all times. Thank God for modern technology and the art of the text message. Gives you valuable time to compose your thoughts.
Now, when you're talking about unexpected visitors, my anxiety level shoots into orbit; I completely empathize.
Yeah, same. I think it's really all about how much you can steady yourself. Expected stuff is fine, you've had time to prepare. But the unexpected things? Especially unexpected calls or guests? Uh-oh.
8 Signs You’re The Unholy Amalgamation Of Personality Traits Known As The Ambivert Neither introvert nor extrovert, a gross medley that God did not intend.
It's a magic power really; make friends anywhere, get away with anything. And yes, I know it's annoying to non-extrovert people. But I can't help it, it's a gift! I was once still present at the tail end of a reasonably unsuccessful party and, as I am wont to do, nipped out for a cigarette. I finished my drink and came back inside some little while later. The room went silent as I came back in, and I kinda look suspiciously around, finally seeing that the last three remaining people at the party were two exes of mine and someone else I had slept with. I smirk a bit and there's a long pause. Finally one of them laughs and says "...Yeah but he is very charming.". I gots charm.
Yeah, I find people can sometimes make being introverted exhausting. I often feel like my two options are either putting on a personality that's not really mine, which obviously I can't do for long, or putting up with boorish people who think I'm either snobbing them or can barely speak. I find a big issue is that people often expect to get to know you right away, like they do with others, which with introverts isn't possible. They can't quite place you nor get with you the type of relaxed interaction they have with other people they've just met, and they don't like the feeling. They don't want to wait, which is all that's needed when you deal with introverts. We need a lot more time to adjust to newness, and we need space and a lot of privacy, which I think people find hard to understand.
I have some extrovert friends who are good at carrying conversations, so with them I don't feel exhausted because it's like they're carrying me.
There is still a lot of your stories that makes me go "I am dating a complete douche" and yet... damn that charm of yours
I used to have a friend who, I swear to God, everywhere we went, we'd run into someone he'd slept with, and it was a sizable city. It was hilarious! The supermarket, a new restaurant...didn't matter. The first time he came over to my place, he discovered he'd slept with my then-next door neighbor. She walked by, they both did a double-take, and he looked at me and said, "I know her!" It became a running joke.
I have my suspicions that that is the entire reason Lost doesn't just want to leave the city where he lives - but England all together...
110% Introvert, not good at the social side of things. I don't get extroverts, unless I happen to be in a close friendship with one. Otherwise I find spending large amounts of time around them to be quite draining. My best friend used to be the same way, bed hopping, but I just figured he had commitment issues until he got things sorted. Suppose he finally met and married 'the one', and has a kid. Never really understood the whole deal of being a male slut, just hope he didn't catch anything, not that it matters since we haven't spoken in over 12-13 years.
Introvert by way of Autisberger BP whatever. I love to go on and on and BS - for a while. Three days later, I'm still exhausted. Can't go to bars, restaurants, parties. It just wipes me out. I've ignored the doorbell, phone, emails. I'm either in, or out.
In what sense? Introverts are people who are shy, reticent and tend to prefer their own company, whereas extroverts are people who are sociable, confident and socially gregarious. You can't, not reliably. If somebody consistently avoids social contact and usually prefers to be quiet and alone, then you could be reasonably sure they are an introvert. But just because somebody seems confident and outgoing, that doesn't mean they're an extravert. Sometimes introverts will pretend to be more socially confident. I'm a lonely introvert. Social contact is stressful and often unrewarding for me, so I avoid it. When it does happen, I become extremely extravert in my behaviour, which makes me feel foolish later on. I do it to try and make people like me and to try to fit in, but I don't think it works very well. But I don't really know how to interact with people any other way, as my natural introvert behaviour is to sit still and quiet doing things on my own. That doesn't really lend itself to conversation and interaction. It's a contradiction I'm not sure I'll ever resolve.
thank you for the explanation. I sometimes feel however a word is rather more intense then the actual purpose or intent. people change all the time. Would you say that the reason that you avoid social contact or try to make people like you is down to the fact it is the perhaps the unknown or that you dont know the people yet is what makes you feel that way and not the fact that you may think that you are an introvert? Not being in control can be intimidating at first.
I can identify with a lot of that. I'm essentially a lonely introvert. I've also found though that I've enjoyed the company of some (not many) extroverts as much as that of introverted friends who understand how I function. Each of those people had a sensitive, artistic nature, which probably can't be a coincidence. I have a pronounced preference for one-on-one conversations, in any context, which I think is the case for pretty much all introverts. When I try to act as less introverted than I am I usually do it so that people don't resent me for making them feel rejected (this has actually happened to me quite a lot and it's probably a debate for another time). In situations where I eventually get to know people who also get to know me, the fact I'm really introverted isn't even always apparent, because I've managed to build myself a comfort zone within those parameters (i.e. trust and mutual approval, or at least respect). One thing that causes me to utterly freeze no matter how much effort I put into trying to relax, and makes it impossible for me to "come out of my shell", is people who aren't especially tactful and think that by being hostile they'll get me to behave in a way that better suits them. The result of that is, obviously, that I go deeper inward. And then not only do I freeze, I also actually begin to resent you.
I like the introversion/extroversion explanation based on where you get your energy from. Introverts get their energy from alone time. Introverts aren't necessarily shy (I'm an introvert, and I'm not shy at all) and they don't necessarily shun social interactions, they just need alone time in order to recharge their energy. Extroverts get their energy from social time. They don't have to be the life of the party but they often are, just because they're totally charged up by all the energy they're absorbing. And they don't necessarily shun alone time, they just can't have too much of it or they'll start dragging and need to see some people in order to recharge. I like to think of them as emotional vampires, but possibly that's a little cruel.
Yeah, it's not as simple as saying people are one thing or another. People might shift over long periods of time from one to the other, and/or vacillate over shorter periods of time. The terms are broad categories for describing people's behaviour and preferred interaction style. It shouldn't be used to define someone completely. I lack the skills in communication to have a conversation comfortably with somebody I don't know. It's actually easier in many ways with extraverts as they will often do some of the hard work - asking questions to get to know you and being more demonstrative in the way they show interest. But sometimes this can be too intense and I feel threatened by the demand of the interaction, which makes me feel uncomfortable and I withdraw. I think it comes down to empathy. Someone who is able to really understand how you are feeling and is willing to adjust their behaviour accordingly is going to make you feel more comfortable than someone who barrels in acting like the life and soul of the party when you want to have a quiet conversation, or likewise someone who isn't able to make the first move in the interaction because the also are introvert. In all situations, people have to compromise and develop a style of interaction in the moment which is suitable for both people. It's really complicated when you actually think about it, so it amazes me that most people do it without even thinking (or so I'm told). Shit, I'm exactly the same. I can't stand that implied pressure, let alone the "what's wrong? You're being really quiet. Have I done something wrong?" Which roughly translates (to me) as "FFS cheer up, you're being too quiet and making everyone else uncomfortable". Which is the worst thing you can possibly say to an introvert. Yeah, I can relate. And I get what your saying about introversion being less of a barrier once you've formed a relationship with people. Though I think I still go too far the other way sometimes and try too hard to play the extravert, even with people I know well, and regret it later.
