Yes. I visited a well-known coffee chain here in Scotland (n0, not Starbucks) not all that long ago, and asked for a 'black coffee.' The guy behind the counter stared at me for a few seconds, as if I had wires sticking out of my head, and then said: "Oh, you mean an Americano..." Occasionally, I win one. I stared at him for a few seconds as if HE had wires coming out of his head and said: "I AM an Americano, and where I come from we call it 'black coffee.' " Snickers all around, red face from him. Black coffee for me. Honestly. How pretentious can people get?
But, Jan! This makes you look like an arrogant American! I recently read an article by an American who had moved to Finland a couple years back and shared 3 things that you'll learn while living here. One: You don't ask Finns 'how are you'. Two: You get used to being naked around strangers. Three: You drink your coffee in coffee shops, not on the go.
Ha ha! But seriously. If a person serving you behind a coffee counter pretended not to know what a 'black coffee' was—clearly wanting to make the customer seem out of touch for not knowing the latest jargon—and then said "Oh, you mean a Finlando," I reckon some arrogance might not go amiss? Truly, could you have resisted the retort? EVERYBODY in Scotland knows what a 'black coffee' means. And a 'white coffee' as well. In fact, we were just discussing this issue at our writers' group earlier this month. And all the members of the group are younger than me, all of them are Scottish, and they ALL get irritated by pretentious coffee-isms. I am not alone. Hence @matwoolf's post.... and he's English.
That's a bug bear of mine too. Just call a coffee a coffee dammit! And what's with bladder-busting sizes while we're at it? Maybe my bladder is the size of a pea, (no pun intended) but how is anyone supposed to go about a days productivity after tackling a Mucho Macho?
I just hate the whole obsession with coffee. It has become some sort of act of pomposity selecting the coffee you will drink. What is the most absurd, silly-arse bullshit bastardisation of some hot water in a cup that I can buy? "I'll have a large Doppio-ristretto-mocha-mocha-pretentious-tosspotio-au-lait." and I'll order it while ignoring the barista (fucking waiter) because I am too busy talking into my dam phone to even acknowledge the person serving me.
I thought your retort was brilliant. I didn't even know Americano means black coffee. We go [direct translation]: "Coffee, thanks." "Which size?" "I dunno. Normal?" "Uh, ok. Shall I leave some space for milk?" "Yes, thanks." "3 euros, thanks." "..." "..." Fuuuuck that's expensive!! " There you go." "Thanks." [/direct translation] Coffee with a splash of milk is my kind of coffee. Special coffees have tons of sugar, so no thanks.
Oh, I'll throw my hands up and admit that I am a coffee addict. There are days when I simply can't eat and I have to get by on the buzz of coffee and sugar alone. Yes, yes...I know it's not healthy, but it's a system that has served me well. Better to consume wasteful calories than no calories at all. What I object to, in the main, is what @Chinspinner refers to as the bastardisation of it. Made with milk, or water. Sugared or taken without. Quit with the pretentious names already. Instead of falling for the big chains claims, why not support local small businesses? If you have an serious interest in coffee, there are ways to develop that interest instead of accepting the dregs big businesses push our way. As much as they do good PR, I often find that the quality of their base product is iffy at best. Can't begin to count the amount of times I've been served coffee made from beans that were quite obviously burned not roasted. (And this is coming from someone who likes a full, rather than a wimpy roast.) Problem is, if the consumer is too busy adding froth, and syrup and crap, they are hardly likely to notice. Probably makes me seem pompous, but I'm not. I expect as much from coffee as I do from whiskey, and writing, and just about everything else. I hate being palmed off with an inferior product. And with that, you make my point. We are led to believe these are 'special' coffees, when what they are are bastardisations meant to deflect our attentions away from the base product.
Coffee without stuff like tons of sugar and high-fat milk and chocolate added is actually good for you, as long as you don't drink so much you get the caffeine shakes. Apparently it carries a very high concentration of antioxidants. So much for all the people who, 10 years ago, were advocating giving up coffee for health reasons. I KNEW they were wrong, even then.
Hilarious. And that's just about right, too. ROFLACGU. (Roll On Floor Laughing And Can't Get Up—late middle age twitticism.)
@jannert Totally agree. And better still, having just run a batch of health related tests, my doc assures me my love of coffee hasn't had any detrimental effects on my heart or blood pressure despite what was previously thought.
Agreed. I'm a coffee snob, I must admit. Dark, dark roast. South-American coffees, or Jamaica Blue Mountain. Ground by hand (ultra-snobbish!). Served from a Jolly Roger mug. Mmm... Saturday mornings. Although, on weekdays, especially mornings, my coffee resembles motor oil in color and consistency...
@KaTrian Blue Mountain is my Lazy Sunday go to. My supplier runs a wee stall at St. George's Market in Belfast. There's nothing better than bringing my net book and catching up on some writing, or just chilling and listening to the jazz band, while people haggle over prices in the background. Right now I'm tackling an expresso made from my supplier's Barista 1887 roast. No milk, with half a teaspoon of sugar. It's been one of those mornings when I need that extra kick. It's so dense it could pass for treacle.
Oh yeah... that reminds me of a conversation myself and a friend had earlier on in the week, just to bring the topic back on track. He'd been on holiday somewhere where haggling is the done thing, and found himself getting irritated over the behaviour of our fellow countrymen abroad. What he objects to is when people take great pride in forcing the price so low that it is virtually impossible for the seller to make any sort of profit. The holiday maker has already made sufficient income that their trip has been affordable to the point they can spend their excess on fripperies. Why not be gracious about it and ensure that the seller makes enough to do the same?
I think it becomes sport for some people. On occasion I have found myself arguing over a dollar or two, then caught myself and thought, it is only a bloody dollar!
@Chinspinner Exactly. A dollar might be just a dollar, but it might be the difference between the seller's children having full and plenty, or having to go without. Personally, I just can't see the sport in actively depriving someone of their income.
I think the issue is more that, after being in a place for a while you start to notice that you are paying tourist prices that are several times more than local prices. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind paying extra as a tourist, but sometimes it is an absurd increase. When you combine this with the common tourist scams (such as the bus stop far outside of town and a cartel operating the taxi's into said town at extortionate prices) you just start to mistrust a lot of people. I have spent enough time in places where I am clearly viewed as a walking wallet that I just start to get pissed off with it.
I just realised the hypocrisy of me sounding so obnoxious and matter-of-factly in my paragraph where I excoriated those who do so. Whoops.
yes i did just sit and read the whole thread.. erm, i have to wear slightly thicker rimmed glasses because of the thickness of the lenses i require due to astigmatisms and poor eyesight, plus i break those flimsy metal frames that are the other option thanks for posting that, im going to Prague in a couple of weeks for my 21st birthday, it will be good to know bane of my life that one, i work in retail currently, and have worked in telesales for a phone company, the amount of abuse i got from customers in the latter job was unreal, suffice to say i left after 3 months because i couldnt handle it. another annoyance related to retail is when management expect you to work miracles in a short space of time (this could be true for most other jobs as well.)
@Chinspinner In some places that might well be true, but it's all too easy to become jaded and to think we are being ripped off when we are not. Remember that I'm talking about specific haggling transactions that take the needs of both the vendor and buyer into account, the upper price being the tourist price, the lower price being the boundary where the vendor ceases to make an adequate profit. I'm talking about cases where value for money has already been ensured, but the greed of the buyer takes over.
It's not a new thing...my father told a tale from his youth (1930s) of somebody ordering a "café-au-lait, but no milk".
@ChaosReigns - oh really? Haha I hope my comment didn't put you off then. It's actually a really lovely city - I mean, when I first moved here I told my husband we were only gonna stay a year. Now this will be my 5th year here and I've even decided to give birth here. So it's not bad really lol. And public transportation is excellent.
oh no not at all! ive been wanting to go for a while (i love my photography and architectural/landscape photography is what i love doing.)
